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Serious Closest you came to suicide?

M

malakai

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Still haven't done it yet, obvs.
 
I overdosed on sleeping pills, that was when I was like 19 tho. I haven't attempted anything else
 
i took a few panadols over limit a year ago cannot believe in nearly killed myself
 
if the apartment complex near me wasn't gated off I probably would have jumped a few days ago
 
I made a noose once, looked at it, and just went back to browsing the internet.
 
I was choking myself a lot with belts or my own hands to release a bit of anger
 
Years ago, I tried tried to starve myself for a week+ to the point where I've became unconscious; it was a result of feeling shitty, a lot of self-hate, and being somewhat in a dark place. My mother found me in my room and downed some water with a bit of salt.
 
Tried to jump in front of moving cars.
 
2 attempts, the latter was working
 
Overdosing/withdrawing on GABAergics (not completely intentional but you could say it was) I came really close and afterwards was in full blown psychosis: inability to sleep even a single minute in 11 days, panic attacks 24/7 for months, crushing chest pains, major problems breathing, heart/liver/kidney problems, visual/auditory/tactile hallucinations, paranoia etc. Felt like I was done and fucked my brain even further. I still have lingering effects a year later.
 
Last edited:
When I was about 14, I... didn't attempt suicide, but I seriously contemplated it. Twice. Both times involved me being treated like shit and mocked by everyone in class, me leaving said class, and waiting near the road waiting for a car to speed past so I could jump in front of it. I chickened out and got too scared when I did feel some brush past me, and turned around and walked back into school.

Never come that close since then, but the suicidal ideation is still very common.
 
I sat on a roof about to jump but then I remembered I don’t want to go to hell
 
6 calcium tabs and not even close because that won't kill me.
 
Looked up the steps required in my state to own a gun, had the money saved up. Had a plan to buy the weapon, but never did
 
Panic attacks 24/7 for months, crushing chest pains, major problems breathing, heart/liver/kidney problems, visual/auditory/tactile hallucinations, paranoia etc..

This happens to me almost everyday lately. I thought it was because of anxiety, because relaxing with weed and other stuff helps with it.
 
I don't remember, I think I tried jumping off of something when I was 11, so glad It didn't lethally injure me because now I have a shot at becoming a serial killer and making at least my part of the world a better place with horrible, horrible people gone
 

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