I get what you mean its child abuse ironically by sheltering me too much i was not ready for the world and people knew I was so sheltered like this to some extent since they knew my lunches were made for me. Sometimes a few people would follow me home from school and they would watch me go up my driveway and my mother would be waiting for me and she would hug me infront of them and I got made fun of for it, its a corny thing to bully someone over but my mother could have just closed the door then hugged me, I still like to hug my mother.
So yeah abuse in a way even though it was good and it did feel very cozy as a kid but it has sabotaged me, it feels like I am starting a race but everyone has already been running for 10 minutes how am I going to catch up lol.
I think I saw you talk about your parents before, your dad had you on his third relationship or something and was kind of absent, I still think my parents were kind compared to other stories I have seen on here its their only marriage they had me and never divorced.
The foid I almost ascended with too, because she did not go to the same school as me she did not know about how I was bullied and I did not have a completely ruined social reputation, had I just changed schools to somewhere else maybe I could have salvaged things. It's too late now.
Or maybe if I was more low inhib I could have broken out of my parents clutches, my sister is more low inhib and she started being independant more early on than me.
Thank you for reading what I have to say its nice to share
Thanks for sharing as well, always interesting to hear what others have been through to end up here.
You remembered correctly, my father was from the german post-war generation and had about as much care for me as i would have for a potato I plant in my garden.
My mother was the exact opposite though, caring way too much and always just giving me w/e I wanted. She is still the same today, she can't even discipline a dog & will let that thing piss on the floor forever before she thinks about trying to train it at all. The dog is cute, but less likeable because she is his "mother" and the same was true for me, I think. She is the kind of parent that would offer you a cookie while you are on a diet, only caring about making you happy in the moment, with no sense of responsibility.
I was quite autistic and it was noticable early on, ever since I went to elementary school, but my mother would just assume it must be the other children at fault when I didn't fit in, because that was her way of "supporting" me. My diagnosis was in my early twenties and afterwards many things made a lot more sense.
Parents can do suprising amounts of harm simply by refusing to take responsibility for the future of their off-spring and avoiding all conflicts with it.
I thought I had it better than many other children because my mother was more loving and caring towards me than their mothers, but as a child you don't have a perspective for why a certain amount of discipline and willingness to be disagreeable are required to foster a child. I quite often feel flat on my face when I went out and had to deal with the outside world, seeing as i was completly unprepared, which made me run back to my mother for protection, which she was happy to provide. Her desire to be
needed and
loved and
to care for someone were fullfilled percisely because I was dependend on her, and so she had no interest in changing that.
Your case sounds similar but differend. I also got taunted for things my mother did, but ultimately my autism already made sure I was gonna go through a decade of bullying and isolation, probably no matter to what school I went or how my parents behaved around me.
