They err in several different ways in counseling men like this:
(1) They think that men can get by as easily as women can; they can't relate to the kinds of challenges men face. If all else fails, a woman can just rely on her holes as a way of obtaining financial support and respectability as a housewife or single mom (in the latter case, she'll be praised for being "strong" since it'll be assumed the man was a deadbeat). Or if she enters the professional world, there are a lot of jobs where she can get by on her feminine looks and charm. Traits that would cripple a man's advancement potential, such as shyness, are endearing in women.
(2) They think that men have the same baseline level of competence that women typically have. In reality, there's more variation among men in terms of competence. There are more incompetent men than there are incompetent women, just as there are more supercompetent men than there are supercompetent women. A lot of times, those men who are born really fucked-up can't rise to an acceptable level of performance in society even with help, which is why the rates of execution and suicide of men have always been high.
(3) They think that men's main problem is regulating their emotions, when in reality, this is more of a problem for women. What men need most of all is help in solving practical problems, since their masculinity already gives them the ability to keep their emotions under control better than a woman could.
(4) They think that talking is going to be as therapeutically necessary and helpful for men as it would be for women. But men don't have as constant and unrelenting a need for attention and validation as women do; they have a stronger desire for actual accomplishments that speak for themselves, since that's more often the source of their power. Men have to make money, which is at least objectively measurable, and usually allows them to betabuxx for female companionship; while women need to attract a man with resources and thus are always insecure and wanting reassurance about their appearance and social acceptability whatnot, which are subjective and depend on the whims of those around them.
(1) They think that men can get by as easily as women can; they can't relate to the kinds of challenges men face. If all else fails, a woman can just rely on her holes as a way of obtaining financial support and respectability as a housewife or single mom (in the latter case, she'll be praised for being "strong" since it'll be assumed the man was a deadbeat). Or if she enters the professional world, there are a lot of jobs where she can get by on her feminine looks and charm. Traits that would cripple a man's advancement potential, such as shyness, are endearing in women.
(2) They think that men have the same baseline level of competence that women typically have. In reality, there's more variation among men in terms of competence. There are more incompetent men than there are incompetent women, just as there are more supercompetent men than there are supercompetent women. A lot of times, those men who are born really fucked-up can't rise to an acceptable level of performance in society even with help, which is why the rates of execution and suicide of men have always been high.
(3) They think that men's main problem is regulating their emotions, when in reality, this is more of a problem for women. What men need most of all is help in solving practical problems, since their masculinity already gives them the ability to keep their emotions under control better than a woman could.
(4) They think that talking is going to be as therapeutically necessary and helpful for men as it would be for women. But men don't have as constant and unrelenting a need for attention and validation as women do; they have a stronger desire for actual accomplishments that speak for themselves, since that's more often the source of their power. Men have to make money, which is at least objectively measurable, and usually allows them to betabuxx for female companionship; while women need to attract a man with resources and thus are always insecure and wanting reassurance about their appearance and social acceptability whatnot, which are subjective and depend on the whims of those around them.
