News (!!!) HISTORICAL SPEECH TONIGHT: Putin will make IMPORTANT statements tonight. EMERGENCY STATEMENT IN BELARUS.

[Asgard]

According to our beloved Cucktin's spokesperson, Peskov.

UPDATE 1: Lukashenko will make an emergency statement, TOO.
UPDATE 2: According to Peskov, this statement will change the fate of today's Russia.

SPEECH WILL COMMENCE IN ABOUT 8 MINUTES!

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My prediction: nothing burger, or... highly improbable: something under military terms... *cough, cough*.

 

[Asgard]

I'm waiting for the nukes to land my backyard. I'm tired of this existence, crowded with annoying Taliban and CCP fanboys.

 

[Puppeter]

They gonna invade from shitrus

 

[Asgard]

They gonna invade from shitrus

Might be. But, that's highly improbable. Maybe they'll talk about the developments over the Polish border. IDK what Duda is doing, they're expecting X thing to break out.

 

[Asgard]

UNCONFIRMED: US DoD has lowered his DEFCON level to 1.

Unconfirmed. I'm waiting for reputable sources to back these claims.

 

[fang]

nothing ever happens
nothing ever happens
nothing ever happens

 

[Asgard]

nothing ever happens
nothing ever happens
nothing ever happens

Nothing burger, 99%.

 

[Asgard]

UPDATE 4: According to Peskov, this statement will change the fate of today's Russia.

 

[Asgard]

If it's a nothing burger, I'll butcher my own penis on a YouTube livestream.

 

[Asgard]

Enjoy the nothing burger.