I have never felt so bad in my life

[Mortis]

I am not scared to admit that I have been crying for about 3 hours, which is weird because I haven't cried since the summer of 2021.

I have never, and I mean this in every sense of the word. Never felt this bad in my life.

I have been suffering immensely these last few months, 6 to be exact. I have been having to deal with constant and sharp panic attacks, mixed with vicious mental breakdowns that give me weird spasms that are really painful and uncomfortable.

There's a myriad of reasons for why I am feeling what I am feeling, and I am not going to bore you with the details, but goodness gracious. I am only 18 and I am absolutely disgusted with the sheer amount of pain, and damage the human mind can inflict upon itself.

You know what I am scared of the most? It's going to get worse. Way worse. More insufferable and insurmountable troubles are garranteed to fall unto my path.

I am legit scared to death. I am crippled with pain. Everyday I wake up, it's like I am being hit by a speeding truck.

I just want to feel okay for once. Just for once. I haven't felt okay in such a long time.

 

[Mecoja]

Mentally it gets easier, eventually mind comes to term with it, now its still fighting, torturing you so you would do something about it. Also keeping things supressed for so long made it hit you all at once, happens to me every few years.

 

[Linesnap99]

Mentally it gets easier, eventually mind comes to term with it

 

[Mortis]

Mentally it gets easier, eventually mind comes to term with it, now its still fighting, torturing you so you would do something about it.

This is unparalleled torture. I can't pass this stage.

 

[BataviaCel]

im really sorry dude, i feel the same way, though i absolutely stopped giving any shit about anything

 

[Mortis]

im really sorry dude, i feel the same way, though i absolutely stopped giving any shit about anything

Why must life be this cruel? I am in an absolutely unlivable situation.

 

[BataviaCel]

Why must life be this cruel? I am in an absolutely unlivable situation.

nature doesnt care about us no matter how subhuman and miserable our lives are

 

[Mecoja]

The true freedom and peace is in the giving up. Hang in there, like many guys here said, its not your fault and theres nothing you couldve done about it, world is flawed.

 

[Mortis]

It does get easier

I really hope you are right. I have the feeling like this suffering is going to be eternal.

 

[Mortis]

The true freedom and peace is in the giving up. Hang in there, like many guys here said, its not your fault and theres nothing you couldve done about it, world is flawed.

That's the fact I am trying to reconcile myself with, but for some reason I am berating myself for being born/not killing myself earlier thus sparing me from all this pain

 

[Mecoja]

That's the fact I am trying to reconcile myself with, but for some reason I am berating myself for being born/not killing myself earlier thus sparing me from all this pain

It sucks man.

 

[Celius]

I have been crying for about 3 hours

The sad reality is, literally no one and I mean just NO ONE cares about this. In fact, all the unhinged IT cuckolds lurking here 24/7 feel genuine happiness when reading this. Your tears are a joy for them EVEN if you’re not a misogynist. You have no one but yourself as an ugly man.

 

[Mortis]

You have no one but yourself as an ugly man.

I don't even have myself anymore. I hate myself the most.

There never was a bully that hated me the most, because I hated me the most.

IT can't even come close to the disdain I feel towards the man in the mirror.

 

[Mortis]

You’re about die brocel pray to whatever god you believe in and hope you get in heaven there in you will be greeted by big oppai angels

 

[Celius]

I don't even have myself anymore. I hate myself the most.

There never was a bully that hated me the most, because I hated me the most.

IT can't even come close to the disdain I feel towards the man in the mirror.

They don’t care about that. They unironically just want you dead and completely gone. They’d be more than happy to convince us to commit suicide actually even when we’re not hateful, it’s been proven more than once. Don’t ever think for once that they’d feel sympathetic towards you if you vent out your feelings and don’t try to render who you truly are under a filter of what’s appealing to normies. You’d only hurt yourself that way. Try to embrace the suffering and wear it like armor instead, that way these motherfuckers can never scar you EVER again.

 

[Copexodius Maximus]

I am not scared to admit that I have been crying for about 3 hours, which is weird because I haven't cried since the summer of 2021.

I have never, and I mean this in every sense of the word. Never felt this bad in my life.

I have been suffering immensely these last few months, 6 to be exact. I have been having to deal with constant and sharp panic attacks, mixed with vicious mental breakdowns that give me weird spasms that are really painful and uncomfortable.

There's a myriad of reasons for why I am feeling what I am feeling, and I am not going to bore you with the details, but goodness gracious. I am only 18 and I am absolutely disgusted with the sheer amount of pain, and damage the human mind can inflict upon itself.

You know what I am scared of the most? It's going to get worse. Way worse. More insufferable and insurmountable troubles are garranteed to fall unto my path.

I am legit scared to death. I am crippled with pain. Everyday I wake up, it's like I am being hit by a speeding truck.

I just want to feel okay for once. Just for once. I haven't felt okay in such a long time.

Are you suffering from any physical pain?

 

[Mecoja]

Best oldcel on this site

Thanks man.

 

[Mortis]

Are you suffering from any physical pain?

It's more physiological. My heart beating abnormally fast, and my gut wrenching.

 

[Transcended Trucel]

Mentally it gets easier, eventually mind comes to term with it, now its still fighting, torturing you so you would do something about it. Also keeping things supressed for so long made it hit you all at once, happens to me every few years.

this is true tbh. Eventually the pain mostly becoems the normal and accepted

 

[Darkday]

And you're just starting.

 

[Lonelyus]

Mentally it gets easier, eventually mind comes to term with it, now its still fighting, torturing you so you would do something about it. Also keeping things supressed for so long made it hit you all at once, happens to me every few years.

Im just meh about these things now but i do got a lingering feeling of sadness

 

[Mecoja]

Im just meh about these things now but i do got a lingering feeling of sadness

I noticed I care much less what is going to happen and what anyone thinks, we will eventually reach a point where nothing will bother us.