Disclaimer: This is likely a satire, but it is still quite an accurate reflection of the world we live in lol.
Some of the Russian social media started reposting a funny document that is claimed to be a LIST OF REQUIREMENTS some toilet came up with and called it "An ideal guy in 2023". She acknowledged in the very beginning that it was unlikely such an "ideal guy" even existed, but she would still accept applications from anyone who checks at least 80% boxes
She approached the list pretty seriously and it looks more like a technical specification document for an engineered system, rather than a list of traits of another human being. She split all her requirements into FOUR categories:
V MUST HAVEs - "certain traits and qualities that are mandatory with chances of having a relationship dropping almost to zero if ANY item is missing"
+ Nice to haves - traits this toilet would "WANT" to see in her partner with more of those "increasing chances of relationship"
- Undesired traits - that could be "forgiven" if there's only one of those present, however would mean "AUTOMATIC REJECTION" if many of those are present
X - Stop-factors - Toilet would auto-reject anyone who has even a single item from this category present
So... she wants to see a guy who (V) works full time making at least $2k/mo, however will auto-reject (X) anyone working in state-sponsored media or in public/government services.
She needs a guy (V) to be fond of TV shows, however will dislike (-) an active athlete (??) spending "too much time on sports" or someone who is into (-) firearms or any related hobby, and auto-reject (X) anyone who is into martial arts.
She wants a guy to be (V) capable of taking care of all household chores by himself and woild ideally like to see him (+) cooking, budgeting, making coffee (personal barista) and taking care of all household finances. She is not interested in anyone (X) having debt.
The most interesting stuff starts on the next page
She needs (V) a guy to be 100% tolerant to LGBTQ+, nations/ethnicities and basically be a liberal/socialist concerned with environmental issues. Most importantly (and expectedly so HAHAHA) she NEEDS (V) a guy to be fine with polyamory and prefer child-free lifestyle. (I guess she just admits upfront that she's not planning to pause her cock carousel).
But it keeps giving!
She needs (V) a guy to always be on her side in all conflicts, never demand anything in return, be empathic and a good listener. She wants (+) him to solve her issues, give her gifts and be tactile with her whenever she wants. She would auto-reject the dude (X) if he tries to limit any of her activities (remember yet about polyamory?) or control her finances.
In terms of sexual preference, she wants (+) a guy to be able to fuck her for an hour or more, be a bisexual/pansexual, and be ready for male anal experiements and MFM sessions (!). She would not appreciate (-) "casual boring sex", "domination over her" and will auto-reject (X) anyone who would like to fuck her in her mouth ("What?? After all of that she won't even give me a bj??")
Finally, she wants (+) him to be lean with some muscles (remember about NOT wanting an athlete or anyone into sports??!), have blue eyes, excellent hygiene and fashion style.
It is not clear from her list what she would offer in return (probably MFM with anal experiments, maybe??)
Satire or not, but I guess it's not far from truth in 2023
Some of the Russian social media started reposting a funny document that is claimed to be a LIST OF REQUIREMENTS some toilet came up with and called it "An ideal guy in 2023". She acknowledged in the very beginning that it was unlikely such an "ideal guy" even existed, but she would still accept applications from anyone who checks at least 80% boxes
She approached the list pretty seriously and it looks more like a technical specification document for an engineered system, rather than a list of traits of another human being. She split all her requirements into FOUR categories:
V MUST HAVEs - "certain traits and qualities that are mandatory with chances of having a relationship dropping almost to zero if ANY item is missing"
+ Nice to haves - traits this toilet would "WANT" to see in her partner with more of those "increasing chances of relationship"
- Undesired traits - that could be "forgiven" if there's only one of those present, however would mean "AUTOMATIC REJECTION" if many of those are present
X - Stop-factors - Toilet would auto-reject anyone who has even a single item from this category present
So... she wants to see a guy who (V) works full time making at least $2k/mo, however will auto-reject (X) anyone working in state-sponsored media or in public/government services.
She needs a guy (V) to be fond of TV shows, however will dislike (-) an active athlete (??) spending "too much time on sports" or someone who is into (-) firearms or any related hobby, and auto-reject (X) anyone who is into martial arts.
She wants a guy to be (V) capable of taking care of all household chores by himself and woild ideally like to see him (+) cooking, budgeting, making coffee (personal barista) and taking care of all household finances. She is not interested in anyone (X) having debt.
The most interesting stuff starts on the next page
She needs (V) a guy to be 100% tolerant to LGBTQ+, nations/ethnicities and basically be a liberal/socialist concerned with environmental issues. Most importantly (and expectedly so HAHAHA) she NEEDS (V) a guy to be fine with polyamory and prefer child-free lifestyle. (I guess she just admits upfront that she's not planning to pause her cock carousel).
But it keeps giving!
She needs (V) a guy to always be on her side in all conflicts, never demand anything in return, be empathic and a good listener. She wants (+) him to solve her issues, give her gifts and be tactile with her whenever she wants. She would auto-reject the dude (X) if he tries to limit any of her activities (remember yet about polyamory?) or control her finances.
In terms of sexual preference, she wants (+) a guy to be able to fuck her for an hour or more, be a bisexual/pansexual, and be ready for male anal experiements and MFM sessions (!). She would not appreciate (-) "casual boring sex", "domination over her" and will auto-reject (X) anyone who would like to fuck her in her mouth ("What?? After all of that she won't even give me a bj??")
Finally, she wants (+) him to be lean with some muscles (remember about NOT wanting an athlete or anyone into sports??!), have blue eyes, excellent hygiene and fashion style.
It is not clear from her list what she would offer in return (probably MFM with anal experiments, maybe??)
Satire or not, but I guess it's not far from truth in 2023
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