Proof?
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NoAITA for cleaning poop off my female friend?
I will try to make this short so here goes...
I am a 30 year old married man. We recently had a party at our place for some close friends after CoVid. 7 of us total. By different circumstances, we don’t have much family and we decided that we would be our “bubble” of people that we would see during CoVid times. Four woman and three guys.
Long story short, we drank quite a bit and everyone was planning at crashing at our place. No big deal, nothing unusual. The one girl there that recently became single drank a lot (likely due to the breakup) and passed out on the floor. I moved her onto the couch near us so we could continue talking while monitoring her (didn’t want her to choke on puke or something). Well, eventually she stirs, rolls over and reveals that she has pooped herself down her skirt and down her legs (also on my couch but it was a shitty couch; now it was a really shitty couch).
Everyone laughs at first then starts gagging. The couples basically say that’s a sign the night is over and they start going to their rooms. Well, I’m the lone holdout that we can’t just leave her covered in poop. My wife was too drunk to help and went to bed.
I was conflicted because this was a close friend so I did what I thought was best. I grabbed baby wipes and cleaned her up. To be clear, I did not touch her vagina at all. I did clean the poop off her butt and just quickly ran a wipe through her butt crack. (I’m a nurse so I have a super strong gag reflex.)
I slept on the couch next to her just in case I heard her choking.
Next morning everyone wakes up and comes to see their friend covered in poop. Well she’s not anymore and that’s when it starts.
“I can’t believe you did that” “That’s assault.” “You basically groped her.”
My wife was no help, which hurt badly, and implied that I should have gotten her to do it. Despite the fact that she was way too drunk to help.
I feel like my friends aren’t messaging me as much anymore and I’m being excluded. Today was the final straw when I looked at my wife’s phone and saw a group chat of the girls and one of my best friends suggested the passed out girl file a police report.
I don’t know what to do. I’m so frustrated because I tried to do the right thing. I’m a god damned nurse, cleaning poop off someone is so clinical and practiced it’s almost routine at this point.
AITA?
TL;dr - cleaned poop off a drunk female friend now other friends are ostracizing me and basically labeling me a predator.
Edit: everyone is asking.
Not same couch. Same room, different couch. Sorry. That was vague.
The girl who had the accident was horribly embarrassed the next day and left shortly after. I didn’t harp on it because I was trying to not embarrass her even as everyone was calling me out. I apologized day of, which in hindsight, kinda makes me look guilty of something.
Edit #2: I didn’t expect this to become so big. I had to sleep so that’s why the lack of replies. Basically, I’ll try to answer the questions I saw over and over.
I am in Canada. So when I said “post-CoVid” what I meant is my province is introducing social bubbles of people that interact with only those specific people. I recognize that CoVid is a still very much a pandemic.
I’ve also seen a lot of people mentioning that I should stop associating with those people. This makes sense except for the fact (I’m not sure I mentioned) we all became close because we don’t have other family. They are really all I have. My wife was one of those close friends before we got married which is why she still has those private chats I guess. We also have a young child together which is why I even had baby wipes in the first place. So leaving my wife really isn’t an option I’m even entertaining despite the literal hole I feel in my chest over this.
And no, this may be a horrible thing, but I didn’t have permission to read my wife’s phone. She got a message on her phone, I picked it up and it unlocked for my face. (Her face unlocks my phone as well, we don’t really have secrets that way.). The messages were right there, roughly 10 back and forth, and I couldn’t help but read them. I know that’s a violation of her privacy and I wouldn’t normally do that.
I appreciate a lot of people saying that I was okay in my actions but this will be the last response I make on this. The negative comments and messages I have been receiving privately are too much to take. The positivity sent by some people is outstanding and I’m so thankful. I can’t keep reading messages that I’m a rapist or that I sexually assaulted my friend. After the pandemic, working insane hours, taking care of a Baby and now this... I’m emotionally drained to a point I’ve never been to.
Mods can lock this if they want. Thank you for the support.
Thanks, going to clear more poop then
Men can do no rightAITA for cleaning poop off my female friend?
I will try to make this short so here goes...
I am a 30 year old married man. We recently had a party at our place for some close friends after CoVid. 7 of us total. By different circumstances, we don’t have much family and we decided that we would be our “bubble” of people that we would see during CoVid times. Four woman and three guys.
Long story short, we drank quite a bit and everyone was planning at crashing at our place. No big deal, nothing unusual. The one girl there that recently became single drank a lot (likely due to the breakup) and passed out on the floor. I moved her onto the couch near us so we could continue talking while monitoring her (didn’t want her to choke on puke or something). Well, eventually she stirs, rolls over and reveals that she has pooped herself down her skirt and down her legs (also on my couch but it was a shitty couch; now it was a really shitty couch).
Everyone laughs at first then starts gagging. The couples basically say that’s a sign the night is over and they start going to their rooms. Well, I’m the lone holdout that we can’t just leave her covered in poop. My wife was too drunk to help and went to bed.
I was conflicted because this was a close friend so I did what I thought was best. I grabbed baby wipes and cleaned her up. To be clear, I did not touch her vagina at all. I did clean the poop off her butt and just quickly ran a wipe through her butt crack. (I’m a nurse so I have a super strong gag reflex.)
I slept on the couch next to her just in case I heard her choking.
Next morning everyone wakes up and comes to see their friend covered in poop. Well she’s not anymore and that’s when it starts.
“I can’t believe you did that” “That’s assault.” “You basically groped her.”
My wife was no help, which hurt badly, and implied that I should have gotten her to do it. Despite the fact that she was way too drunk to help.
I feel like my friends aren’t messaging me as much anymore and I’m being excluded. Today was the final straw when I looked at my wife’s phone and saw a group chat of the girls and one of my best friends suggested the passed out girl file a police report.
I don’t know what to do. I’m so frustrated because I tried to do the right thing. I’m a god damned nurse, cleaning poop off someone is so clinical and practiced it’s almost routine at this point.
AITA?
TL;dr - cleaned poop off a drunk female friend now other friends are ostracizing me and basically labeling me a predator.
Edit: everyone is asking.
Not same couch. Same room, different couch. Sorry. That was vague.
The girl who had the accident was horribly embarrassed the next day and left shortly after. I didn’t harp on it because I was trying to not embarrass her even as everyone was calling me out. I apologized day of, which in hindsight, kinda makes me look guilty of something.
Edit #2: I didn’t expect this to become so big. I had to sleep so that’s why the lack of replies. Basically, I’ll try to answer the questions I saw over and over.
I am in Canada. So when I said “post-CoVid” what I meant is my province is introducing social bubbles of people that interact with only those specific people. I recognize that CoVid is a still very much a pandemic.
I’ve also seen a lot of people mentioning that I should stop associating with those people. This makes sense except for the fact (I’m not sure I mentioned) we all became close because we don’t have other family. They are really all I have. My wife was one of those close friends before we got married which is why she still has those private chats I guess. We also have a young child together which is why I even had baby wipes in the first place. So leaving my wife really isn’t an option I’m even entertaining despite the literal hole I feel in my chest over this.
And no, this may be a horrible thing, but I didn’t have permission to read my wife’s phone. She got a message on her phone, I picked it up and it unlocked for my face. (Her face unlocks my phone as well, we don’t really have secrets that way.). The messages were right there, roughly 10 back and forth, and I couldn’t help but read them. I know that’s a violation of her privacy and I wouldn’t normally do that.
I appreciate a lot of people saying that I was okay in my actions but this will be the last response I make on this. The negative comments and messages I have been receiving privately are too much to take. The positivity sent by some people is outstanding and I’m so thankful. I can’t keep reading messages that I’m a rapist or that I sexually assaulted my friend. After the pandemic, working insane hours, taking care of a Baby and now this... I’m emotionally drained to a point I’ve never been to.
Mods can lock this if they want. Thank you for the support.
see I care about ya xD
Really? I didn’t see themI noticed bro see my post in the ban thread
I notice everything cuz I waste enourmous amounts of time on this siteReally? I didn’t see them
