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Cope Someone wrote a story on inkwells

Antisocialloner

Antisocialloner

Disposable Waste
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Posts
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Didn't read.
 
the guy in the cover looks like a sexhaver normie just from his eye area
they couldn't even put a real trucel in it
 

The whole fucking thing is basically "incels are involuntarily celibate" water wet.

The last section about overestimating femoid standards is bullshit. Women lie and underestimate their standards due to self report bias. Much more picky in their behavior compared to their bullshit lies to seem kinder.
 
Actually the source study referenced in the article might be the same study Master advertised JFL. Same author, william costello


Nvm it looks to be an earlier study but same author
 
Last edited:
I want to be famous inkwell
 
The last section about overestimating femoid standards is bullshit. Women lie and underestimate their standards due to self report bias. Much more picky in their behavior compared to their bullshit lies to seem kinder.
The author fell for the 'women value kindness and emotional stability' meme.
 

Psychology Today

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Andrew G. Thomas Ph.D.
Andrew G. Thomas Ph.D.
Darwin Does Dating

Inside the Mating Psychology of Involuntary Celibates​

Understanding their self-perception, mate preferences, and mind-reading biases.​

Posted April 13, 2023 Reviewed by Lybi Ma


KEY POINTS​

  • Incels see many reasons for their singlehood, including social awkwardness, poor flirting skills, and not being good-looking enough.
  • Compared to non-incel single men, they have a lower self-perceived mate value and lower mate standards.
  • Incels overestimate the importance of good looks and status to women, and underestimate the importance of kindness and emotional stability.
  • These errors in cross-sex mind-reading are not unique to incels but they are exaggerated compared to non-incels.
In our most recent paper, we looked at the mating psychology of incels. There's a lot of media coverage and online discussion about what incels think and believe but very little primary data that supports this. This is problematic because it allows misinformation and bias to penetrate the public, which could lead to erroneous views of this large group of men.
To try to change that, we recruited 150 self-identified incels to participate in a study designed to help us understand their mating psychology. The study asked questions about their self-perceived mate value, partner preferences, and their views on what women want in a partner. Importantly, we also used a sample of non-incels, to help us distinguish between incel attitudes and beliefs and more ‘general’ ones held by single men. Here are some key things that we found.

Incels give more internal and external reasons for being single​

When we gave incels a list of 37 reasons why they might be single, ranging from ‘love scares me’ to ‘I haven’t achieved enough in life to be considered attractive’, incels picked more internal and external reasons for their singlehood than non-incels. Internal reasons were far more common, with incels picking an average of 8 vs 6 for non-incel men. Incels also picked more external reasons, but there were fewer in number. Incels picked an average of 2 vs 1 for non-incels. The top three reasons picked by incels were:

  1. Not being good at flirting
  2. Being socially awkward
  3. Not being good-looking enough
The view that social skills are a key factor driving incel singlehood might be an accurate one. We know that the incidence of autism, and its associated struggles with body language and social cues, is much higher among incels than the general population.

Incels score have low self-perceived mate value​

Unsurprisingly, incels had a much lower self-perceived mate value than non-incels, rating themselves a score of about 3 out of 7 on average. This goes against the view that incels might have an inflated sense of self-worth.

Incels have lower partner standards​


There was evidence that incels' view of their own mate value carries over into their mate preferences. Typically, those with lower self-esteem tend to have lower minimum mate preferences and this is also born out in the data. Except for being ‘loyal and dependable’ and ‘kind and understanding’ incels had lower minimum standards across 15 different mate characteristics. On average, using a 0 to 10 scale, incels set a minimum of 5 across the traits and were particularly willing to accept lower standards for fashion sense and social status.

THE BASICS​

Again, this calls into question the idea that incels set their standards too high causing them to have difficulty in finding a mate. Rather, they adjust their minimum standards in line with what they feel they offer. It was also interesting to find that the traits that incels valued the most were those most important in long-term relationships, like kindness and emotional stability.

Incels overestimate women’s partner standards​

In our study, we also recruited women to tell us what their minimum mate preferences were and asked incels to guess how they would respond. This is a form of cross-sex mind-reading and by looking at the differences between the two we were able to examine mate preference ‘gaps’ where incels and non-incel men got things wrong.

We found that incel men underestimate the importance of ‘long-term relationship’ traits to women, like kindness and emotional stability, while they overestimated the importance that women place on traits like physical attractiveness and social status, which are often emphasized more important in short-term mating. This fits in with the incel rhetoric that you see online about what women want and the best way to enhance one's mating prospects (e.g., looksmaxing). However, the interesting thing was that non-incel men made the exact same errors for every trait we looked at. There is a bias here that is not unique to incels but is somewhat exaggerated within their group.

MATING ESSENTIAL READS​


3 Ways to Reverse a Pattern of Detached Dating

Why Romantic Feelings Change Over Time (For Better or Worse)

The overall picture​

Together, these findings paint a rich picture of incel mating psychology; one marked by a combination of low mate value and standards and a lack of social skills. Despite incels showing a tendency towards interpersonal victimhood, incels didn’t fully externalise their problems and blame others for them. They recognised that a lot of barriers they faced came from within.
Clear biases in incel perceptions of what the other sex wants in a mate show a failure in cross-sex mind-reading often explained away by the community as the product of women saying they want one thing but then going on to do another (stated vs revealed preferences). Part of this confusion might be due to a lack of distinction between mating strategies. Incels might be assuming that the long-term mate preferences of women are similar to their short-term ones.

Ways to change​

Research like this is important because understanding incel psychology can show us ways to help support them and enable change should they want it. One example could be to develop better self-esteem. Incel self-esteem seems to be locked in on their ability to function within the mating market, and while success in love and relationships is an important part of self-esteem, that doesn't mean it cannot be built in other ways. Similarly, inaccurate theory of mind, causing confusion about the wants and desires of the opposite sex, could be the focus of psycho-educational interventions to help incels develop a more nuanced view of what women want and under what circumstances. This includes a better understanding of how much variation there is in mate preferences from person to person, which doesn’t seem to feature in incel discourse at all and might be an example of unhealthy black-and-white thinking.

You can read more in the paper that is currently uploaded as a preprint here. Want more? Check out my earlier post What Do We Know About Incels?

References
Costello, W., Rolon, V., Thomas, A. G., & Schmitt, D. (2022). Levels of well-being among men who are incel (Involuntarily Celibate). Evolutionary Psychological Science, 8(4), 375-390.
Costello, W., Rolon, V., Thomas, A. G., & Schmitt, D. P. (2023). The Mating Psychology of Incels (involuntary Celibates): Misfortunes, Misperceptions and Misrepresentations.


About the Author
Andrew G. Thomas Ph.D.
Andrew G. Thomas, Ph.D., is a senior lecturer of psychology at Swansea University in the U.K. He researches mate preferences and relationship wellbeing from an evolutionary perspective.
Online:
andrewthomas.org, Twitter
More from Andrew G. Thomas Ph.D.

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What ChatGPT Gets Wrong About Dating
Despite decades of research to the contrary, ChatGPT predicts that men and women want exactly the same qualities in a mate.

4 MIN READ
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Evolutionary theories can help explain human mating psychology and behavior.

3 MIN READ
5 More Interesting Things About the Desire for Casual Sex
Sociosexuality, or the desire for uncommitted sex, can be detected in vocal attributes that differ between men and women.

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Polygamy (having multiple spouses) has been an enduring fixture of human mating, leaving a mark on our mating psychology.
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Anthropologist Roy Richard Grinker explores the roots of stigma in his new book.

3 MIN READ
Why We Say We're "In Love"
The word love in English comes from a root that can mean either caring or desire.

6 MIN READ
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4 MIN READ
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Psychology Today
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Twitter
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Subscribe Today
United StatesUnited States
Psychology Today © 2023 Sussex Publishers, LLC
 
Psychology Today
Search


Andrew G. Thomas Ph.D.
Andrew G. Thomas Ph.D.
Darwin Does Dating

Inside the Mating Psychology of Involuntary Celibates​

Understanding their self-perception, mate preferences, and mind-reading biases.​

Posted April 13, 2023 Reviewed by Lybi Ma


KEY POINTS​

  • Incels see many reasons for their singlehood, including social awkwardness, poor flirting skills, and not being good-looking enough.
  • Compared to non-incel single men, they have a lower self-perceived mate value and lower mate standards.
  • Incels overestimate the importance of good looks and status to women, and underestimate the importance of kindness and emotional stability.
  • These errors in cross-sex mind-reading are not unique to incels but they are exaggerated compared to non-incels.
In our most recent paper, we looked at the mating psychology of incels. There's a lot of media coverage and online discussion about what incels think and believe but very little primary data that supports this. This is problematic because it allows misinformation and bias to penetrate the public, which could lead to erroneous views of this large group of men.
To try to change that, we recruited 150 self-identified incels to participate in a study designed to help us understand their mating psychology. The study asked questions about their self-perceived mate value, partner preferences, and their views on what women want in a partner. Importantly, we also used a sample of non-incels, to help us distinguish between incel attitudes and beliefs and more ‘general’ ones held by single men. Here are some key things that we found.

Incels give more internal and external reasons for being single​

When we gave incels a list of 37 reasons why they might be single, ranging from ‘love scares me’ to ‘I haven’t achieved enough in life to be considered attractive’, incels picked more internal and external reasons for their singlehood than non-incels. Internal reasons were far more common, with incels picking an average of 8 vs 6 for non-incel men. Incels also picked more external reasons, but there were fewer in number. Incels picked an average of 2 vs 1 for non-incels. The top three reasons picked by incels were:

  1. Not being good at flirting
  2. Being socially awkward
  3. Not being good-looking enough
The view that social skills are a key factor driving incel singlehood might be an accurate one. We know that the incidence of autism, and its associated struggles with body language and social cues, is much higher among incels than the general population.

Incels score have low self-perceived mate value​

Unsurprisingly, incels had a much lower self-perceived mate value than non-incels, rating themselves a score of about 3 out of 7 on average. This goes against the view that incels might have an inflated sense of self-worth.

Incels have lower partner standards​


There was evidence that incels' view of their own mate value carries over into their mate preferences. Typically, those with lower self-esteem tend to have lower minimum mate preferences and this is also born out in the data. Except for being ‘loyal and dependable’ and ‘kind and understanding’ incels had lower minimum standards across 15 different mate characteristics. On average, using a 0 to 10 scale, incels set a minimum of 5 across the traits and were particularly willing to accept lower standards for fashion sense and social status.

THE BASICS​

Again, this calls into question the idea that incels set their standards too high causing them to have difficulty in finding a mate. Rather, they adjust their minimum standards in line with what they feel they offer. It was also interesting to find that the traits that incels valued the most were those most important in long-term relationships, like kindness and emotional stability.

Incels overestimate women’s partner standards​

In our study, we also recruited women to tell us what their minimum mate preferences were and asked incels to guess how they would respond. This is a form of cross-sex mind-reading and by looking at the differences between the two we were able to examine mate preference ‘gaps’ where incels and non-incel men got things wrong.

We found that incel men underestimate the importance of ‘long-term relationship’ traits to women, like kindness and emotional stability, while they overestimated the importance that women place on traits like physical attractiveness and social status, which are often emphasized more important in short-term mating. This fits in with the incel rhetoric that you see online about what women want and the best way to enhance one's mating prospects (e.g., looksmaxing). However, the interesting thing was that non-incel men made the exact same errors for every trait we looked at. There is a bias here that is not unique to incels but is somewhat exaggerated within their group.

MATING ESSENTIAL READS​


3 Ways to Reverse a Pattern of Detached Dating

Why Romantic Feelings Change Over Time (For Better or Worse)

The overall picture​

Together, these findings paint a rich picture of incel mating psychology; one marked by a combination of low mate value and standards and a lack of social skills. Despite incels showing a tendency towards interpersonal victimhood, incels didn’t fully externalise their problems and blame others for them. They recognised that a lot of barriers they faced came from within.
Clear biases in incel perceptions of what the other sex wants in a mate show a failure in cross-sex mind-reading often explained away by the community as the product of women saying they want one thing but then going on to do another (stated vs revealed preferences). Part of this confusion might be due to a lack of distinction between mating strategies. Incels might be assuming that the long-term mate preferences of women are similar to their short-term ones.

Ways to change​

Research like this is important because understanding incel psychology can show us ways to help support them and enable change should they want it. One example could be to develop better self-esteem. Incel self-esteem seems to be locked in on their ability to function within the mating market, and while success in love and relationships is an important part of self-esteem, that doesn't mean it cannot be built in other ways. Similarly, inaccurate theory of mind, causing confusion about the wants and desires of the opposite sex, could be the focus of psycho-educational interventions to help incels develop a more nuanced view of what women want and under what circumstances. This includes a better understanding of how much variation there is in mate preferences from person to person, which doesn’t seem to feature in incel discourse at all and might be an example of unhealthy black-and-white thinking.

You can read more in the paper that is currently uploaded as a preprint here. Want more? Check out my earlier post What Do We Know About Incels?

References
Costello, W., Rolon, V., Thomas, A. G., & Schmitt, D. (2022). Levels of well-being among men who are incel (Involuntarily Celibate). Evolutionary Psychological Science, 8(4), 375-390.
Costello, W., Rolon, V., Thomas, A. G., & Schmitt, D. P. (2023). The Mating Psychology of Incels (involuntary Celibates): Misfortunes, Misperceptions and Misrepresentations.


About the Author
Andrew G. Thomas Ph.D.
Andrew G. Thomas, Ph.D., is a senior lecturer of psychology at Swansea University in the U.K. He researches mate preferences and relationship wellbeing from an evolutionary perspective.
Online:
andrewthomas.org, Twitter
More from Andrew G. Thomas Ph.D.

5 MIN READ
What ChatGPT Gets Wrong About Dating
Despite decades of research to the contrary, ChatGPT predicts that men and women want exactly the same qualities in a mate.

4 MIN READ
Unlocking the Secrets of Mating Using an Evolutionary Lens
Evolutionary theories can help explain human mating psychology and behavior.

3 MIN READ
5 More Interesting Things About the Desire for Casual Sex
Sociosexuality, or the desire for uncommitted sex, can be detected in vocal attributes that differ between men and women.

3 MIN READ
How Open Are Westerners to Multi-Partner Marriages?
Polygamy (having multiple spouses) has been an enduring fixture of human mating, leaving a mark on our mating psychology.
More from Psychology Today

11 MIN READ
Why Recovering From the Narcissist in Your Life Is So Hard
Recovery from a narcissist can be more difficult than other relationships partly due to self-criticism in the aftermath.

7 MIN READ
How the Stigma of Mental Illness Has Evolved Over Time
Anthropologist Roy Richard Grinker explores the roots of stigma in his new book.

3 MIN READ
Why We Say We're "In Love"
The word love in English comes from a root that can mean either caring or desire.

6 MIN READ
11 Myths About Personal Chemistry
Expressing genuine interest in someone during an interaction and being open yourself could help ignite the spark of chemistry.

4 MIN READ
Friends with Benefits Is About More Than Casual Sex
Friends-with-benefits relationships stand somewhere between casual flings and long-term commitment.

6 MIN READ
The Surprising Psychology That Drives Booty Calls
It's not monogamy, but it's not a one-night stand either.

4 MIN READ
If You Want an Orgasm, Stimulate This
A cluster in the spinal cord known as LSt cells triggers sexual climax. LSt cells link stimulation in both the genitals and the brain.

3 MIN READ
Women’s Experiences with Multiple Orgasms Are Highly Diverse
New research finds that there are at least four types of multiorgasmic women.
Most Popular

13 Rules of Success

Why Do So Many Couples Divorce After 8 Years?

24 Dimensions of Compatibility in Long-Term Couples

I Can’t Live Without Her: When Grieving Men Die

Self-Acceptance: You Cannot Be Anyone Else

Parental Shaming vs. Encouragement



Psychology Today
Facebook
Twitter
Instagram
Subscribe Today
United StatesUnited States
Psychology Today © 2023 Sussex Publishers, LLC
*Yawn*
 

Re: how do i make this girl love me
AnonyAnonymous
Png

Join Date: 2013-06-23
Post Count: 6332
#151911223Thursday, December 18, 2014 12:53 AM CST
Alright, you'll have to communicate with the individual directly about your opinion regarding the "Relationship" between the both of you. You cannot force someone to develop a genuine romantic attraction towards you, they have to analyze the various qualities of your personality and come to a conclusion themselves regarding how favorable they may perceive you to be. If the individual isn't willing to adapt their perception of the situation based on positive subjective qualities, It's simply time to cease your attempts at persuasion.
Re: [ Content Deleted ]
AnonyAnonymous
Png

Join Date: 2013-06-23
Post Count: 6332
#151955167Thursday, December 18, 2014 9:01 PM CST
There's much more important aspects of your "Academic-Lifestyle" than simply trying to receive utterly worthless Social-Status to boast about in your later years. You'll benefit from respecting this person's decision and understanding that an actual "Romantic-Relationship" is much more than simply based on desire and a good image. I'm going to suggest focusing on "Academic" lessons.
Re: Girls these days...
AnonyAnonymous
Png

Join Date: 2013-06-23
Post Count: 6332
#151998004Friday, December 19, 2014 5:08 PM CST
"It IS okay to like people and to get into relationships and all that, but hope for the best and expect the worst" I never once stated in my previous response that there was anything wrong with attempting to maintain a "Romantic" relationship during your teenage years. "Puberty" itself is a developmental process characterized by extensive chemical and psychological instability persisting for a varying duration of years. Any individual seeking to form any 'meaningful' relationships during these years of "Puberty" should recognize that both their perception, and the perception and interest of the significant other will likely shift at a consistent rate due to the changes. This doesn't mean that you shouldn't try to form a relationship if you desire to do so, I'm merely suggesting that the topic creator weigh the advantages/disadvantages of the practice in itself and his current circumstances before attempting to enter a romantic relationship as the teenage duration of time provides plenty of opportunities to develop crucial career skills other than simply just Social-Status capabilities.
Re: is it possible to love someone you barely know
AnonyAnonymous
Png

Join Date: 2013-06-23
Post Count: 6332
#152414518Thursday, December 25, 2014 12:18 PM CST
Are you sure you aren't referring to "Infatuation"? Genuine romantic attraction solidifies at a gradual rate from analysis of the opposing individual.
Re: Is it normal to not have a GF at 13
AnonyAnonymous
Png

Join Date: 2013-06-23
Post Count: 6332
#158387704Saturday, March 21, 2015 10:47 PM CDT
Alright, It's unnecessary to argue consistently over something as simplistic and inessential as courting an individual during adolescence. Revising your employment capabilities is often much more beneficial than relying on "Romantic" relationships between psychologically underdeveloped children for "experience".
Re: middle school relationships in a nutshell
AnonyAnonymous
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Join Date: 2013-06-23
Post Count: 6332
#158629260Wednesday, March 25, 2015 4:41 PM CDT
Middle-School-aged children should not engage in "romantic" relationships.
Re: so i just got caught cheating
AnonyAnonymous
Png

Join Date: 2013-06-23
Post Count: 6332
#158629352Wednesday, March 25, 2015 4:42 PM CDT
You've created a web of deception and now you're suffering from the effects of your actions. There's very few individuals capable of formulating their strategy well enough to avoid ruining their own plans when it comes to things such as this. Explain the situation to the individuals involved and genuinely apologize if you are guilty for your "Crimes". Also, if you cannot manage a simple "romantic" relationship without resorting to such tactics, how do you intend to maintain honesty in the Employment-Field? I'd highly suggest focusing on academic knowledge instead of purely social skills.
 

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