I was always into music, ever since I know. Up until 10th class when everything changed. My elder brother, had cleared JEE easily and had got admitted to IIT-M. And luckily our parents were supportive. Both my mom & dad are IIT-M alums (theirs was a love marriage). I was the odd fish in the pond but they had no issues with it and extremely supportive. Everything changed when we got the bad news that we lost my elder brother to an accident. My parents broke down completely and I lost my music. I decided to give up on my dreams and live my brothers dream. I was just an average student and I wanted to make my parents happy. They never said anything and they thought it was my way of coping with stuff. 10th had just started and I gave up everything. Phone, friends, internet, every damn thing. Academics was never my forte and neither did I care as I was born to be a musician. So It was extremely difficult. Covid struck and we almost lost my dad but he fought to recovery. I was enrolled in one of the JEE factories jail-house and life was exasperating. Thankfully due to lockdown I returned home from hostel, and never went back despite threats from school administration. My dad taught Physics and mom taught me maths. Chemistry was always an enemy and they both learnt it for my sake to ensure that I clear the cut-offs. It was painfully slow process initially but I picked up. My elder brothers smiling pic on my wall was my sole motivation. I am thankful that I never went astray. Got 99.92%ile in mains first june attempt and decided to skip the second attempt as we were satisfied. I have exam fear so to get over that I wrote couple of exams in between like BITSAT, and EAMCET. Got very decent marks so improved my motivation. Had taken Allen & Mathongo mock series for practice. But mom, dad and me did tons of interesting problems. God knows from where they got these problems from. Just a day before the advanced exam, got a very bad panic attack but my parents convinced me that they are proud of me no matter the result. They are proud that I left my dreams to pursue my brothers and I worked on it honestly and that alone matters. Getting a seat in IIT is fine but not the end of the world and even if I dont get my brother will be proud of me. This calmed me down. I was supercharged for Advanced and I think I had a very decent attempt. I know in the moment of utter despair after we lost my brother, I took a decision to change my life course and did something that I never aspired. To chase someone else's dream is hard, extremely hard and many a times I wanted to run away. I joined the internet today to tell my story. I dont know what I did was right or wrong, please dont judge. But looking back I am very proud of myself. I am far better version of myself than what I was and music is back again in life. My parents are happy and most likely I will join a band in college. I think I will get into IIT-M, but if not life wont stop and I will move on to another college. FWIW this has made me realize that we can do anything, just anything if we really want to. I apologize if my post offends anyone, I am still learning internet etiquettes.
Edit: Thank you so much for all the upvotes, the reddit awards and extremely kind comments. We (me and my parents) are overwhelmed reading some of the comments. I learned lots of new internet slangs & the meaning of some emojis(from some of the comments) / meaning of the reddit awards etc. My parents have gifted me a new guitar, keyboard and flute and I will have my first performance for our colonies Ganesha pandal here at Hyderabad and I am rehearsing for the same now. Overall a great day. Will not leave my music now even after going to IIT-M. Thank you so much !!
Edit 2 Sep 11 - I got a double digit rank in Advanced. Thank you for all your wishes and support.
Edit 3 Dec 10 - I have dropped out of my IIT race and taken admission at a USA based university, as it is more in line with what I like and a great opportunity for me. I am aspiring to be a Physicist and I am pursuing music too and started with a new band. If everything goes fine, I will also try to audition for my favorite reality TV show Survior on CBS and hope that I get selected.
Edit: Thank you so much for all the upvotes, the reddit awards and extremely kind comments. We (me and my parents) are overwhelmed reading some of the comments. I learned lots of new internet slangs & the meaning of some emojis(from some of the comments) / meaning of the reddit awards etc. My parents have gifted me a new guitar, keyboard and flute and I will have my first performance for our colonies Ganesha pandal here at Hyderabad and I am rehearsing for the same now. Overall a great day. Will not leave my music now even after going to IIT-M. Thank you so much !!
Edit 2 Sep 11 - I got a double digit rank in Advanced. Thank you for all your wishes and support.
Edit 3 Dec 10 - I have dropped out of my IIT race and taken admission at a USA based university, as it is more in line with what I like and a great opportunity for me. I am aspiring to be a Physicist and I am pursuing music too and started with a new band. If everything goes fine, I will also try to audition for my favorite reality TV show Survior on CBS and hope that I get selected.
One of my favourite rape scenes ngl
What's your favorite?
Probably the one in that 2002 movie irreversible, have fapped to it many times.
Thx for the sauce.
Enjoy
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