Just need to vent a little bit. A couple years ago when I was still in high school I decided to work my first job as a camp counselor over the summer I thought maybe I'd make new friends hell even find a girlfriend (delusional). First day I come for orientation I'm already alone and I feel invisible when I try socializing with the people there the same things that have been happening my whole life happen once again and then same thing on the training day for my job I didn't even talk to anyone on that day I remember feelings like such a loser and not know what I could have even done about it. Somehow I still coped and thought I would have fun, groups are randomly assigned so certainly the guys that are in my group will be forced to socialize with me right? Totally delusional from me once again they all always talked to each other had their own inside jokes and made references saying shit like slay and purr laughing at it. That shit made me feel old it's crazy how they were all my age and I had nothing to relate to with them it was so over for me. The worst part was every time there was a problem or every time a kid had an emergency or something gross happened I had to be the one to fix it, I remember this one time a kid vomited guess who had to clean that out? It was so awful man. And the time 2 kids fought each other and somehow there is a counselor assigned to this specific kid yet I was blamed like fuck off. The whole "work experience" was so horrible and it makes me cringe to this day, I came out of it with 0 friends, still sad still alone this might have been the beginning of the end for me. I don't know if I can ever work again part of me knows I will have to and it kills me.
