Holy fuck am i ever horny but i'm not going watch porn and jackoff like usual, Cause everytime i do that it makes me fucking miserable, I usual do it the shower and when i'm done i just fucking sit there contemplating my entire life, reliving every bad choose i made that got me here, Realizing I am a sub 5 and have no way of changing that ever, I feel doomed to be alone, But even now doing some of kind quasi-no fap is just making me frustrated, We were born to fuck I am literally fighting off my biology so that mentally i don't get more depressed then I already am. Why did i have to be born an incel, why did i have to be so autistic, why couldn't i just be normal I might even have a chance if i wasn't so fucked up mentally but that is just not the case. I WANT TO HAVE SEX SO BADLY but i fucking CAN'T it's fucking crushing me i can't stop fucking thinking about it and every cope i come up with just doesn't work anymore It's KILLING ME INSIDE why can't foids just love me for what i am WHY IS MY ONLY OPTION PLASTIC SURGERYMAXXING? Why can't i fuckin be rich already, this is fucking torture. no foid will ever cuddle up with me in bed no foid will ever say i love you. I'll never wake up to a blowjob, I'll never finish work and have my wife comfort me, will never play games together or go karting and have genuine fun with each other, It doesn't matter what personality i have or how much i workout and whatever "cool" hobby i end up getting I'LL NEVER ATTRACT WOMEN, I don't know how i was able to cope this for so fucking long but i can't take this shit anymore it's breaking me up inside. My mental state worsens almost every fucking day because of this, I start doing better and this shit again. My body is punishing me for my failures in life, it's punishing me for things i also have no control over. I just want a gf why is it expected i jump through 30,000 hurtles just for the chance at that, a chance that is so slim i might as well just fucking give up, It's so fucking brutal man. fuck.
