5:45am-wake up for Fajr prayer. Sometimes miss it.
7:30am - wake up
8:30am- finally gather myself together enough to push the self loathing aside. (I've relapsed on nofap too, such a shame it makes me depressed. I'm fixing this shit now, need my Iman back). Sometimes takes an additional thirty minutes if I missed prayer.
9:00am- get out of the shower. Shave my ugly chechencel beard that makes me look like a terrorist and cops profile me
9:15- maybe hear a voice or two calling my name while I eat my eggs or cereal (schizophrenia)
9:15-9:45- browse internet.
9:45- manage the weight of a car pushing on my chest as I prepare to go to class
10:00- get to the train station. No human contact as usual.
10:45- get in class. It's funny. No girls are in them, only incels even higher inhib than me (trade school)
I can't even manage to pay attention in half my classes. I'm just facing some form of elite depression.
4:40- finish classes. Pay for an overpriced meal with a fellow muslimcel I "befriended", we just go to class and sit next to each other. We're too high inhib to hang out or just don't care to
5:00- walk to station. See normies holding hands and shit. Happy people enjoying themselves.
5:30-get back home.
Browse incels. Look at my steam games. I used to play counterstrike. Got to SMFC. it's just not the same anymore, I don't play video games anymore. Idk what happened.
Browse reddit. Feel the heart tissue rupture inside myself as I read suicide fuel posts.
Smoke a cigarette. Eat some shitty meal I whip up. Endless running thoughts of paranoia. Constantly begging for Allah's forgiveness for how much of a colossal failure I am.
Browse internet more with the same aforementioned patterns.
1:30am-submit to my nyquil addiction and doze off
Repeat every day. You?
7:30am - wake up
8:30am- finally gather myself together enough to push the self loathing aside. (I've relapsed on nofap too, such a shame it makes me depressed. I'm fixing this shit now, need my Iman back). Sometimes takes an additional thirty minutes if I missed prayer.
9:00am- get out of the shower. Shave my ugly chechencel beard that makes me look like a terrorist and cops profile me
9:15- maybe hear a voice or two calling my name while I eat my eggs or cereal (schizophrenia)
9:15-9:45- browse internet.
9:45- manage the weight of a car pushing on my chest as I prepare to go to class
10:00- get to the train station. No human contact as usual.
10:45- get in class. It's funny. No girls are in them, only incels even higher inhib than me (trade school)
I can't even manage to pay attention in half my classes. I'm just facing some form of elite depression.
4:40- finish classes. Pay for an overpriced meal with a fellow muslimcel I "befriended", we just go to class and sit next to each other. We're too high inhib to hang out or just don't care to
5:00- walk to station. See normies holding hands and shit. Happy people enjoying themselves.
5:30-get back home.
Browse incels. Look at my steam games. I used to play counterstrike. Got to SMFC. it's just not the same anymore, I don't play video games anymore. Idk what happened.
Browse reddit. Feel the heart tissue rupture inside myself as I read suicide fuel posts.
Smoke a cigarette. Eat some shitty meal I whip up. Endless running thoughts of paranoia. Constantly begging for Allah's forgiveness for how much of a colossal failure I am.
Browse internet more with the same aforementioned patterns.
1:30am-submit to my nyquil addiction and doze off
Repeat every day. You?
