I found a cool way to embrace inceldom.
We know it’s over for us and for a lot of us, it never even began. So we are basically already dead. We are dead men walking.
This gave me an excellent idea. We can impersonate the Undertaker from WWE! Below, you will find everything you need, but if you have suggestions on what could be added, feel free to comment.
Now let’s start with my Undertakermaxxing guide.
Clothes and looks: You need boots, leather gloves, a hat and a trench coat. If you have at least mediocre hair, let it grow out a bit. Younger guys can shave their beards, older guys should get a goatee. Wear all black clothes and if you feel like it, wear clothes with purple accents and purple accessories. If it’s hot outside, you can wear a black tank top and it’s recommended that you get your upper arms and shoulders covered in cool tattoos (if you walk around with exposed arms a lot!)
Accessories: It’s highly recommended that you have a black Harley Davidson bike or similar. You can also have a pet raven. If you’re happy, you can listen to Kid Rock, wear a black or red bandana, sports sunglasses and t-shirts and sleeveless tops that are black and have cool skull or demon motives.
Lifestyle: Be gymmaxxed and also practice acrobatics, because when you get into a fight, you will jump from ledges, but more on fighting later. There are many jobs you can do, undertaker is an obvious choice, but you can also become a horror movie actor, a motorbike mechanic or a gang member. Or a pro wrestler/ martial artist.
Behavior: Walk as slow as you can and hide your eyes from other peoples’ gaze under your hat. (If you can see someone’s eyes, he/she can also see yours!) If it’s time to talk, lift your head up to show your eyes. If you’re angry, roll your eyes back and you can also show your tongue. Speak in a very deep voice and don’t talk too much.
When you’re laying down and want to stand up, for example in the morning or at the dentist or at a massage parlor, keep your torso straight and use your abs to raise your torso up, so that your body makes an L-shape.
Before you enter a building or a room, have a fog or smoke machine ready. If you can’t carry one, get a really good e-cigarette and blow an enormous amount of vapor at the door before you enter. This will make it seem like you’re surrounded by fog. Always show up when it’s raining, foggy or when the church bells are ringing.
Don’t allow anyone to disrespect you, kiss your ass/ manipulate you, touch your girlfriend (as if lol) or your bike. NEVER allow anyone to touch your bike!
Fighting style: Use quick boxing strikes like left jabs, hooks, body hooks, uppercuts and elbow and knee strikes. Use kicks to the groin and front kicks to the face (this is the only high kick you will use).
Weapons: Use anything you can find, fight dirty. If you have time to bring a weapon, choose mechanical tools like wrenches or typical gang member weapons like knuckle dusters.
Special strategy: surprise attacks: Don‘t just rely on strength, but also use surprise attacks. You can hide in closets or underneath beds and tables. When your opponent arrives, surprise him with an attack from behind.
If the light switch is near, turn off the light to spook your opponent before beating him up.
Grappling: Focus on choking techniques, but break your opponent’s arms and legs if you’re in the mood.
Slams and throws: When your opponent is lightweight or groggy, pick him up and slam him to the ground. You can use a side walk slam or a scoop slam (which you can turn into a tombstone piledriver). Grab and slam your opponent against walls and objects too.
Special move: When your opponent is groggy, take his hand (no homo tho) and get the high ground, for example by climbing on a table. If you have time, talk to an outsider to gain popularity. Then jump down and dislocate your opponent’s shoulder by stretching out his arm and hitting the shoulder with your other hand.
Finishing move 1: When you want to finish your opponent, bury him alive. You can also put him or her into a casket.
Finishing move 2: Use a rope and tie your opponent to your bike. Then drive around and drag your opponent through the dirt, make him hit obstacles etc.
Thanks for reading, now rest… in… peace
We know it’s over for us and for a lot of us, it never even began. So we are basically already dead. We are dead men walking.
This gave me an excellent idea. We can impersonate the Undertaker from WWE! Below, you will find everything you need, but if you have suggestions on what could be added, feel free to comment.
Now let’s start with my Undertakermaxxing guide.
Clothes and looks: You need boots, leather gloves, a hat and a trench coat. If you have at least mediocre hair, let it grow out a bit. Younger guys can shave their beards, older guys should get a goatee. Wear all black clothes and if you feel like it, wear clothes with purple accents and purple accessories. If it’s hot outside, you can wear a black tank top and it’s recommended that you get your upper arms and shoulders covered in cool tattoos (if you walk around with exposed arms a lot!)
Accessories: It’s highly recommended that you have a black Harley Davidson bike or similar. You can also have a pet raven. If you’re happy, you can listen to Kid Rock, wear a black or red bandana, sports sunglasses and t-shirts and sleeveless tops that are black and have cool skull or demon motives.
Lifestyle: Be gymmaxxed and also practice acrobatics, because when you get into a fight, you will jump from ledges, but more on fighting later. There are many jobs you can do, undertaker is an obvious choice, but you can also become a horror movie actor, a motorbike mechanic or a gang member. Or a pro wrestler/ martial artist.
Behavior: Walk as slow as you can and hide your eyes from other peoples’ gaze under your hat. (If you can see someone’s eyes, he/she can also see yours!) If it’s time to talk, lift your head up to show your eyes. If you’re angry, roll your eyes back and you can also show your tongue. Speak in a very deep voice and don’t talk too much.
When you’re laying down and want to stand up, for example in the morning or at the dentist or at a massage parlor, keep your torso straight and use your abs to raise your torso up, so that your body makes an L-shape.
Before you enter a building or a room, have a fog or smoke machine ready. If you can’t carry one, get a really good e-cigarette and blow an enormous amount of vapor at the door before you enter. This will make it seem like you’re surrounded by fog. Always show up when it’s raining, foggy or when the church bells are ringing.
Don’t allow anyone to disrespect you, kiss your ass/ manipulate you, touch your girlfriend (as if lol) or your bike. NEVER allow anyone to touch your bike!
Fighting style: Use quick boxing strikes like left jabs, hooks, body hooks, uppercuts and elbow and knee strikes. Use kicks to the groin and front kicks to the face (this is the only high kick you will use).
Weapons: Use anything you can find, fight dirty. If you have time to bring a weapon, choose mechanical tools like wrenches or typical gang member weapons like knuckle dusters.
Special strategy: surprise attacks: Don‘t just rely on strength, but also use surprise attacks. You can hide in closets or underneath beds and tables. When your opponent arrives, surprise him with an attack from behind.
If the light switch is near, turn off the light to spook your opponent before beating him up.
Grappling: Focus on choking techniques, but break your opponent’s arms and legs if you’re in the mood.
Slams and throws: When your opponent is lightweight or groggy, pick him up and slam him to the ground. You can use a side walk slam or a scoop slam (which you can turn into a tombstone piledriver). Grab and slam your opponent against walls and objects too.
Special move: When your opponent is groggy, take his hand (no homo tho) and get the high ground, for example by climbing on a table. If you have time, talk to an outsider to gain popularity. Then jump down and dislocate your opponent’s shoulder by stretching out his arm and hitting the shoulder with your other hand.
Finishing move 1: When you want to finish your opponent, bury him alive. You can also put him or her into a casket.
Finishing move 2: Use a rope and tie your opponent to your bike. Then drive around and drag your opponent through the dirt, make him hit obstacles etc.
If you ever ascend, I will now teach you forbidden knowledge on how to have sex like the Undertaker. Do you think you have what it takes? Then proceed.
Sex position 1: the last ride: Stand straight have your lady climb on you, so that she sits with her legs on your shoulders, your face in between her legs. Eat her out.
Sex position 2: tombstone piledriver: This is a variation of the 69. Stand straight and lift your lady up, so that she’s upside down and you’re hugging her waist. Now, eat her out and enjoy her sucking your cock.
Oh, and when you finally get married, have your wife’s name tattooed on your neck.
Sex position 1: the last ride: Stand straight have your lady climb on you, so that she sits with her legs on your shoulders, your face in between her legs. Eat her out.
Sex position 2: tombstone piledriver: This is a variation of the 69. Stand straight and lift your lady up, so that she’s upside down and you’re hugging her waist. Now, eat her out and enjoy her sucking your cock.
Oh, and when you finally get married, have your wife’s name tattooed on your neck.
Thanks for reading, now rest… in… peace
