D
...because I was treated like fucking dirt beneath ones boot.
Of course I ended up this way after being treated like shit for years on end and being taken advantage of at every possible opportunity because I was a soft, easy target. I was always kind and I’m not just saying that either, I genuinely was a nice, kind person. Shy too; I still am. Introverted. But I was a good kid when I was younger. I would never hurt anyone, hell, I used to feel guilty as sin if I ever hurt anyone or did something wrong. As I said though, I was an easy target for bullying. I was bullied in college and I wrote a story on that not long ago and posted it here. I tried to put on a happy face even then though. My personality didn’t change because of the way they treated me. I resisted, for a time. But it just kept happening over and over again and nobody stuck up for me. Girls never liked me either. Nice guys finish last, right? I was quite literally invisible to girls. Either that or they hated me for no particular reason. I hardly ever spoke to girls because I was scared of them. I didn’t know what to say. I did literally NOTHING wrong and I was still treated like crap.
My mom would give me money for school and I’d be the one to generously buy others food. If you needed some money and you didn’t have any, I’d be the first one to chip in to help. Because I thought it was the right thing to do. It was a kind act. I never expected anything back. What I did get back however, was people who took advantage of my kindness and some went even a step further not only taking advantage but continuing their mockery of me. The older I got, the more I was taken advantage of. Take college for example. I was the one always buying the food and drinks for my so called friends who mocked me behind my back, and I did that because I thought it would get people who weren’t nice to me to lay off me, at least for a while. Surprise surprise, it didn’t.
People treated me like shit and over time my kind, loving demeanour eroded. My personality began to change. I became very bitter and nihilistic. Depressed and lonely. And angry, the anger was a big one. I looked back at my life and realised that there were many moments where I was a complete pushover and now I realise how wrong I was for allowing such things to happen. I should have kicked back hard. But I was too weak to do so back then.
You see how ones personality can change from good to “toxic”? I never asked for this, I never wanted this, I didn’t choose this life. It was chosen for me. People treated me like fucking shit and now people have the nerve to say I’m the bad guy when I start fighting back and treating others the same way that they treated me FOR YEARS ON END? I have NOTHING to apologise for. I’ve done fuck all wrong.
You can go on about how I’m a misogynist and how hateful I am. You can say that you were bullied but you didn’t let it change you and all that but I don’t care anymore. It’s just empty words to me. It hurt me. It made me sad and upset. I’ve cried in the past because of it.
All that’s left now is a hateful shell of a human being, the remnants of the person I once was.
Of course I ended up this way after being treated like shit for years on end and being taken advantage of at every possible opportunity because I was a soft, easy target. I was always kind and I’m not just saying that either, I genuinely was a nice, kind person. Shy too; I still am. Introverted. But I was a good kid when I was younger. I would never hurt anyone, hell, I used to feel guilty as sin if I ever hurt anyone or did something wrong. As I said though, I was an easy target for bullying. I was bullied in college and I wrote a story on that not long ago and posted it here. I tried to put on a happy face even then though. My personality didn’t change because of the way they treated me. I resisted, for a time. But it just kept happening over and over again and nobody stuck up for me. Girls never liked me either. Nice guys finish last, right? I was quite literally invisible to girls. Either that or they hated me for no particular reason. I hardly ever spoke to girls because I was scared of them. I didn’t know what to say. I did literally NOTHING wrong and I was still treated like crap.
My mom would give me money for school and I’d be the one to generously buy others food. If you needed some money and you didn’t have any, I’d be the first one to chip in to help. Because I thought it was the right thing to do. It was a kind act. I never expected anything back. What I did get back however, was people who took advantage of my kindness and some went even a step further not only taking advantage but continuing their mockery of me. The older I got, the more I was taken advantage of. Take college for example. I was the one always buying the food and drinks for my so called friends who mocked me behind my back, and I did that because I thought it would get people who weren’t nice to me to lay off me, at least for a while. Surprise surprise, it didn’t.
People treated me like shit and over time my kind, loving demeanour eroded. My personality began to change. I became very bitter and nihilistic. Depressed and lonely. And angry, the anger was a big one. I looked back at my life and realised that there were many moments where I was a complete pushover and now I realise how wrong I was for allowing such things to happen. I should have kicked back hard. But I was too weak to do so back then.
You see how ones personality can change from good to “toxic”? I never asked for this, I never wanted this, I didn’t choose this life. It was chosen for me. People treated me like fucking shit and now people have the nerve to say I’m the bad guy when I start fighting back and treating others the same way that they treated me FOR YEARS ON END? I have NOTHING to apologise for. I’ve done fuck all wrong.
You can go on about how I’m a misogynist and how hateful I am. You can say that you were bullied but you didn’t let it change you and all that but I don’t care anymore. It’s just empty words to me. It hurt me. It made me sad and upset. I’ve cried in the past because of it.
All that’s left now is a hateful shell of a human being, the remnants of the person I once was.
Last edited:
