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SuicideFuel I screwed the pooch and messed up my chance.

E

Ehwhatever

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Let me preface this by saying that I want to splatter my brains all over my wall with a shotgun.

Now, I made a post about a girl that looked shocked when I smiled. Yeah..... She wanted to talk to me it turns out. I think she might've been into me. The next day she came and stood by me during our stretching and was staring at me/smiling at me at the time and throughout the day. When I saw that I froze, my brain shut off, and I walked away.

For those that don't know, I have Avoidant personality disorder. I can't open up, bond with, or really talk to anyone. Well she was being pretty obvious about it but I shut down and ignored her. I overheard the girls next to me say, why doesn't he talk to her? My boss was even staring at me. I gave it some thought and decided maybe I should try opening up and thought all night on how to break the ice.

I get in today, people were looking at me, she avoided me, and one of the supervisors walks by and says "stupid". The girl wouldn't even bat an eye at me the entire day and was glued to another guy instead. I think I might've seriously fucked up and my inhibition put her off.

I'll take the brag warning but most of you guys probably would roast me if you saw her and would say it isn't even ascension since she was really fat and, uh, homely. I was into her personality though. She seemed sweet and was hella shy/awkward so she caught my attention.

But, I seriously fucked up because I'm so screwed in the head and I'm extremely depressed again. I'm fucking stupid and I hate my fucked up brain right now.
 
im sorry but you had no chance to begin with
 

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