Fuckmyexistence said:
I’ve never considered killing anyone, I’ve simply thought over the possibilities, every single one of them, over a very long period of time, it’s not one single factor that has led to this, it’s an a giant mix, well, I guess what you say doesn’t really matter, I’ve made my choice, if you want to give me sympathy then that’s your choice, you think I haven’t tried to Be strong?
Even if you've only entertained the idea in fantasy, or out of pure curiosity. It's still evident of your absolute degradation. Also, you say this, "it’s not one single factor that has led to this, it’s a giant mix." Why do you state this? Every single person who is/was depressed or suicidal did not become as such from one single reason.
Let me ask you. Do you believe that you are special? That your circumstances are special?
I'll try to dissolve such a disgusting thought right now, because no one is special. Not from who they are, or what they've done, or what has happened to them.
You are depressed and lonely, others have been as well
Your father died when you were still young, the same has happened to many others
You've left school and you feel your dreams are now out of reach, again, others have gone through this.
I'm not trying to belittle what has happened to you, but to put it into perspective. You think you are helpless, but such a thing is never true, but it's not my duty to tell you how you may solve your problems, I only want you to recognize them. The problem being that you are deluded, and that it is your delusion which has brought you to your decision, not reality.