M
This morning I went with the doc. I have been diagnosed with chronic gastritis, Barrett's esophagus and an ulcer. He prescribed me Omeprazole and told me I can drink coffee and eat everything I want but with moderation, but I need to stop smoking and avoid drinking alcohol and soft drinks.
Hearing this has already collapsed my life, to hell with my youth, now I'm going to be the total loser. The "cool guys" who drink and smoke are the ones that usually girls look at and get laid with, the "coolest" (at least in my country). I'm not going to party anymore, all for what, to ask for a water and make a fool of myself? ...
Anyway, I never liked to party. But if Asperger and Tourette (diagnosed at age 7) already makes me a freak, smoking with my classmates during class breaks and that was the only way not to be a 100% jerk and at least look more "interesting". Now I won't be able to, and I think I'm going to unsubscribe from the school in fact, or at least look for a center to do it remotely and go only on the days that there are exams so as not to get involved.
I started smoking 2 years ago went I started at this new school. I never smoked more than 4 cigarettes per day.
I'm sick of being a weirdo surrounded by normies who are always looking at me and treating me like I'm from another planet. And to top it off I can't get a tattoo because I have an overprotective mother. A few months ago I witnessed how some girls who were on a bar terrace whispered about a hyper-tattooed guy that passed by.
Well, not even that. I will not be able. I'm wondering if it's really worth all this or better to ignore the doctor's warnings and continue smoking. I don't know if this will give me stomach or esophageal cancer, but I don't know if it would be better to die from it at age 70 or wherever it will comes than to live a shitty life until then. I don't hate women even if I consider myself an incel, but I don't know why the hell they are attracted to that kind of men alone. I always see the most attractive girls I knew with these kind of guys, even if they are not bad persons at all, but you know what I mean. I don't know what to do.
Hearing this has already collapsed my life, to hell with my youth, now I'm going to be the total loser. The "cool guys" who drink and smoke are the ones that usually girls look at and get laid with, the "coolest" (at least in my country). I'm not going to party anymore, all for what, to ask for a water and make a fool of myself? ...
Anyway, I never liked to party. But if Asperger and Tourette (diagnosed at age 7) already makes me a freak, smoking with my classmates during class breaks and that was the only way not to be a 100% jerk and at least look more "interesting". Now I won't be able to, and I think I'm going to unsubscribe from the school in fact, or at least look for a center to do it remotely and go only on the days that there are exams so as not to get involved.
I started smoking 2 years ago went I started at this new school. I never smoked more than 4 cigarettes per day.
I'm sick of being a weirdo surrounded by normies who are always looking at me and treating me like I'm from another planet. And to top it off I can't get a tattoo because I have an overprotective mother. A few months ago I witnessed how some girls who were on a bar terrace whispered about a hyper-tattooed guy that passed by.
Well, not even that. I will not be able. I'm wondering if it's really worth all this or better to ignore the doctor's warnings and continue smoking. I don't know if this will give me stomach or esophageal cancer, but I don't know if it would be better to die from it at age 70 or wherever it will comes than to live a shitty life until then. I don't hate women even if I consider myself an incel, but I don't know why the hell they are attracted to that kind of men alone. I always see the most attractive girls I knew with these kind of guys, even if they are not bad persons at all, but you know what I mean. I don't know what to do.
