About an hour ago I went to a hot dog stand (I'm not fat if you're wondering). Was full of people, as usual, everyone is staring at me and I'm just noticing from the corner of my eye. I hate how much I negatively stand out. I'm next in line, right behind the ONLY other dude in front of the hot dog stand. Had been waiting behind him for like 5 mins and the dude who makes the HD's saw me multiple times. A 6'2" Chad arrived about 3-4 minutes after me and sat on the bench that was roughly 10 meters away from the stand. Now it's my turn and the dude (the guy who makes the HD's) LOOKS OVER AT THE CHAD THAT'S FAR AWAY FROM HIM AND IS ALSO LOOKING AT HIS PHONE AND ASKS HIM "WHAT ARE YOU GETTING?"
I'M LITERALLY RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU AND YOU KNOW I'M NEXT IN LINE BUT YOU ASK THE GUY WHO ARRIVED LATER FIRST?
This is not the first time it happens, but when I tell them they immediately dismiss me. You can't be taken seriously if you're not a physical threat.
To top it off and what hurt worse, one of my ex-classmates (mid-tier normie but is over 6ft) came along with his girlfriend who was absolutely adorable and cute. He's a textbook nerd and delusionally positive, but he makes good money and isn't ugly, not to mention tall and in good shape, so I'm not really surprised he has a gf. She's not your typical Stacy at all, but I was immediately enchanted by her, she's my type, and idk how to describe this, but I could just feel it right away. And she was being really nice to me, trying to make some conversation and stuff, I wasn't dismissed at all, for once... I could tell she was a little shy, but honestly, all this only made things extra worse for me because of course, as the touch and affection starved loser that I am, I was starting to develop feelings. I tried to hurry up and pay for my hotdog so I could dip. Said goodbye to my classmate, then she waved at me because she was a little far from us, and with a brief smile I waved back and turned around. Right as I start to walk I hear her saying "who knows when we'll see each...", tried to say "each other again", then she stopped. Why? Because she said it a little low and I had already turned and was walking so I just kept walking pretending I didn't hear. It's gonna take at least a few hours to get her out of my head with how much I liked her, ugh
Btw, while I was talking to this classmate in question, I shortly look to my right and this other worker who makes french fries looks me up and down and then SMIRKS
This isn't the first time a situation like this happens to me in public, it happens a lot more than I can bear. Only this time it was a little worse than usual.
I'm fucking crushed right now, I feel heartbroken and like a waste of space. I should have never been born
I'M LITERALLY RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU AND YOU KNOW I'M NEXT IN LINE BUT YOU ASK THE GUY WHO ARRIVED LATER FIRST?
This is not the first time it happens, but when I tell them they immediately dismiss me. You can't be taken seriously if you're not a physical threat.
To top it off and what hurt worse, one of my ex-classmates (mid-tier normie but is over 6ft) came along with his girlfriend who was absolutely adorable and cute. He's a textbook nerd and delusionally positive, but he makes good money and isn't ugly, not to mention tall and in good shape, so I'm not really surprised he has a gf. She's not your typical Stacy at all, but I was immediately enchanted by her, she's my type, and idk how to describe this, but I could just feel it right away. And she was being really nice to me, trying to make some conversation and stuff, I wasn't dismissed at all, for once... I could tell she was a little shy, but honestly, all this only made things extra worse for me because of course, as the touch and affection starved loser that I am, I was starting to develop feelings. I tried to hurry up and pay for my hotdog so I could dip. Said goodbye to my classmate, then she waved at me because she was a little far from us, and with a brief smile I waved back and turned around. Right as I start to walk I hear her saying "who knows when we'll see each...", tried to say "each other again", then she stopped. Why? Because she said it a little low and I had already turned and was walking so I just kept walking pretending I didn't hear. It's gonna take at least a few hours to get her out of my head with how much I liked her, ugh
Btw, while I was talking to this classmate in question, I shortly look to my right and this other worker who makes french fries looks me up and down and then SMIRKS
This isn't the first time a situation like this happens to me in public, it happens a lot more than I can bear. Only this time it was a little worse than usual.
I'm fucking crushed right now, I feel heartbroken and like a waste of space. I should have never been born
