Do you historycels know of any jokes that would reflect the level of the ones that we have about indians, blacks, whites and asians we have today?
Remember an arabic one being about a white man finding an arab in bed with his wife, and then the wife and the arab talk the white dude into believing that she had only given the men shelter when he needed it, and then that he had been painfully cold, but that his clothes had been wet so he had to taken them off to dry. Don't remember the exact punshline, but the point had obviously been that whites were cucks, even back then.
most old jokes are about sex
Here are a few jokes about jews from a 1998 book in my father's library:
-All the doctors gave up treating me, says Shtrul in a depressed tone.
-Oh my God! But why? Itic asks scared.
-Because I didn't pay them.
-All the doctors gave up treating me, says Shtrul in a depressed tone.
-Oh my God! But why? Itic asks scared.
-Because I didn't pay them.
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-How are you, Shtrul? Itic asks.
I can't complain, Itic. Yesterday, for example, I dined with one of the richest people in the world.
-Not true.
-Sure I did. At McDonald's...
I can't complain, Itic. Yesterday, for example, I dined with one of the richest people in the world.
-Not true.
-Sure I did. At McDonald's...
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In a small group of friends, Shtrul tells one of them:
-God, how much I hate Itic.
-Me too, one of them answers.
-How much do you owe him?
-God, how much I hate Itic.
-Me too, one of them answers.
-How much do you owe him?
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-I told my daughter to be in bed every night at 9 p.m., Shtrul tells Itic.
-And, does it fit in time?
-In time, yes. But from time to time I still get the wrong house number.
-And, does it fit in time?
-In time, yes. But from time to time I still get the wrong house number.
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-Shtrul, you often go to Paris. How much does such a trip cost you?
-If I go with my wife, 500 dollars; if I go alone, 1000.
-If I go with my wife, 500 dollars; if I go alone, 1000.
Shtrul was just getting dressed when Itic rang the doorbell.
-Where are you going, Shtrul?
-Only going for a walk, in the neighbor.
-And why are you taking a clean shirt?
-Because I'm going to a costume party.
-Where are you going, Shtrul?
-Only going for a walk, in the neighbor.
-And why are you taking a clean shirt?
-Because I'm going to a costume party.
Shtrul's wife, greedy by nature, only lights one candle for the Friday evening prayer.
-We have to save money, she says.
-At least light one more, so I can at least see your other breast.
-We have to save money, she says.
-At least light one more, so I can at least see your other breast.
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Shtrul at the psychiatrist:
-Imagine the following situation: you go to your house and you find your wife in bed with another man. What would you do?
-Nothing, Shtrul replies. Either way, it would be the biggest pain for the poor man.
-Imagine the following situation: you go to your house and you find your wife in bed with another man. What would you do?
-Nothing, Shtrul replies. Either way, it would be the biggest pain for the poor man.
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At the Tel Aviv airport, a pleasant, feminine voice addresses the passengers:
-Dear travelers, all those who have lost a wallet containing the sum of 200,000 dollars are asked to line up in pairs in front of the information desk.
-Dear travelers, all those who have lost a wallet containing the sum of 200,000 dollars are asked to line up in pairs in front of the information desk.
-At the end of every month, I still have some money left over from my salary, Shtrul tells Itic.
-It's the other way around for me, Itic says angrily. At the end of every paycheck, I have a month left.
-It's the other way around for me, Itic says angrily. At the end of every paycheck, I have a month left.
Strul praises his wife:
-My wife is extremely cultured, Shtrul tells Itic. She reads a lot, plays the piano, paints, speaks two languages...
-Come on, Shtrul, mine is ugly too...
-My wife is extremely cultured, Shtrul tells Itic. She reads a lot, plays the piano, paints, speaks two languages...
-Come on, Shtrul, mine is ugly too...
-I stole a goose from Itic, but I felt sorry and brought it's worth in money, Shtrul tells the rabbi. I would like you to send the money to Itic, but let him not know that it is from me.
The rabbi agrees. After a week, the story repeats itself. The third week the same. The rabbi, puzzled, asks Shtrul:
-What's the point of all this story? Wouldn't it be better to buy the goose from Itic?
-No! Because that's how I set the price.
The rabbi agrees. After a week, the story repeats itself. The third week the same. The rabbi, puzzled, asks Shtrul:
-What's the point of all this story? Wouldn't it be better to buy the goose from Itic?
-No! Because that's how I set the price.
-Why are you so angry, Itic?
-It's my wife...
-But I thought she died?
-Oh no, at least then I would know exactly where she is sleeping.
-It's my wife...
-But I thought she died?
-Oh no, at least then I would know exactly where she is sleeping.
Shtrul goes to the rabbi and tells him that he suspects his wife is cheating on him:
- Because think about it, rabbi. My wife is brunette, I am brunette, and the child is redheaded.
- What kind of redhead? asks the rabbi. Rusty red?
- Yes, a reddish rust.
- And, tell me Shtrul, how often do you sleep with your wife? Can you tell me? You can trust me. Daily, weekly, monthly?
Shtrul, ashamed, answers:
-Well, I do only once a month.
-Once a month? the rabbi wondered.
-With such a beautiful wife? And you are still surprised that rust appears on your child's head?
- Because think about it, rabbi. My wife is brunette, I am brunette, and the child is redheaded.
- What kind of redhead? asks the rabbi. Rusty red?
- Yes, a reddish rust.
- And, tell me Shtrul, how often do you sleep with your wife? Can you tell me? You can trust me. Daily, weekly, monthly?
Shtrul, ashamed, answers:
-Well, I do only once a month.
-Once a month? the rabbi wondered.
-With such a beautiful wife? And you are still surprised that rust appears on your child's head?
Shtrul recently had a road accident and goes to a lawyer to hire him.
-If I understand correctly, says the lawyer, we have to prove that the cyclist you ran over passed through the intersection at a speed of 130 km/h, and the dog running on the road was so big that it prevented you from observing the bicyclist.
-If I understand correctly, says the lawyer, we have to prove that the cyclist you ran over passed through the intersection at a speed of 130 km/h, and the dog running on the road was so big that it prevented you from observing the bicyclist.
On the eve of a holiday, Shtrul goes to the synagogue, goes home, has dinner, reads the newspaper, climbs into bed, and brings his hands together to begin praying:
-Dear God, last year, also on the eve of this holiday, I asked you for 100,000 dollars for this year, but you only gave me 42,366.8 dollars. So please do me a favor and refund my debt of $57,643.2 within three days, otherwise, with the greatest regret, I will go to the lawyer to recover them...
-Dear God, last year, also on the eve of this holiday, I asked you for 100,000 dollars for this year, but you only gave me 42,366.8 dollars. So please do me a favor and refund my debt of $57,643.2 within three days, otherwise, with the greatest regret, I will go to the lawyer to recover them...
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