[Serious] Sadness is nothing to be ashamed of

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Mr.Sophistication

Mr.Sophistication

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Been thinking about this the last few days, had something of an epiphany. What is it actually that makes me feel bad about myself? That I cant do things like other people can, that I fuck up where others succeed without any issues, mostly that foids pinpoint me on my failings by showing me how unsuitable Im for reproducing.
Naturally that stuff fucking kills me, feel shit about myself, future is dark/nonexistant, no hope, no chance about changing anything. Feel shame that I have these thoughts, feel shame that Im unable to get out of it like all the other people seem to do, dont want to go outdoors, meet other people because of this shame.

But at some point it hit me, that feeling ashamed because Im sad and seem to live a life like a loser isnt actually something inherent to me, its something that I project onto myself based on how I think other people view me, the normshits that are accomplishing the things that I cant. In that way its not real, Im living my life for other people not for myself, Im not free, enchained to the expectations most people have of life.

Feeling sad, angsty and lonely isnt fucking anything to be ashamed of. Its just other people that want to push us into that mold, nobody here is a loser because winners and loser dont exist, nobody can be judged like that, they dont have that kind of control over your life. Really, there is no fucking standard to live up to. Who set the standard there in the first place? And for whom? We´re indoctrinated to think that X is an accomplishment, but that is what makes us unfree, thats what creates depression, because we cant possibly live up to the standards of other people, can only be ourselves.

All of this, inceldom, its a part of my personality, its who I am and I dont need therapy for how I hurt, that I feel sad, that I hate how some people behave themselves. I should be proud of who I am, that I have individuality in my suffering, in my sadness, its something inside me that should not be denied. Fuck everyone that tells you otherwise, you fucking matter, youre actually the only thing that fucking matters, regardless of how other people try to shame you for "fucking up". The feelings that are there are real and theyre nothing to be ashamed of. You have been born into this shit and youre dealing with it your way and its fucking fine.
 
M

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Sadness is part and parcel of Incel's life and it is, therefore, in vain to cry over it.
 
Lonelycel

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I appreciate the kind words :feelscry:
 
rightfulcel

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Great read
 
Sadness

Sadness

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Thanks bro.
 
Vermilioncore

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Life is sadness :/
 
Feces

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I understand the hopefulness and optimism in moments of realization like that, however once you realize your life is truely shit as an incel you will always have emotional waves. For years Id feel happy at one point when I come to a "realization" about my current mental state but then it will all come crashing down when I go outside and see people actually living real happy lives. Not the imaginative and emotion based life I carry out as a COPE. Unless you truly and drastically change what you want out of life in the long run and begin living a different style of life foreal, these will always be emotional phases.
 
grondilu

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We´re indoctrinated to think that X is an accomplishment, but that is what makes us unfree, thats what creates depression, because we cant possibly live up to the standards of other people, can only be ourselves.
True. There is a name in psychology to describe this, too bad I forgot.

Why should we even expect to accomplish anything ? Accomplishment is by definition rare, otherwise it's not accomplishment, it's just work.
 
Mr.Sophistication

Mr.Sophistication

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I understand the hopefulness and optimism in moments of realization like that, however once you realize your life is truely shit as an incel you will always have emotional waves. For years Id feel happy at one point when I come to a "realization" about my current mental state but then it will all come crashing down when I go outside and see people actually living real happy lives. Not the imaginative and emotion based life I carry out as a COPE. Unless you truly and drastically change what you want out of life in the long run and begin living a different style of life foreal, these will always be emotional phases.
You´re right of course, cant dodge the emotional waves either, but I have been in the dark for so long now that even the realization that there CAN be something else for me lets me have a sliver of hope that there can be days where I dont feel shit about myself at all. Gives me something to believe in, its cope after all, when youre not chad or even NT everything is cope, but it actually is something that I want to go forward with and build my life around.
Wouldnt be wrong to assert that I have just accepted my misery, that a lot of people are much nearer to the life I dreamed of for long and I wont ever get there. Accepting that and then still accepting myself as not worthless is important to me though, feel like it will lead me to the happiest possible life for me where theres at least some hope left. My days shouldnt revolve around the happiness of normshits, fuck them, why should I care about what theyre doing if it doesnt apply to me at all anyway? Our reality simply isnt theirs, shouldnt let them give reign over ours still.
 
GreaseCel

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I am sad often
 
Mr.Sophistication

Mr.Sophistication

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I am sad often
Me too boyo, its fine though, its not a sign that you´ve done something wrong. Feeling low under these circumstances means that youre sill living in reality, that youre not an NPC zombie, something to be proud of actually, stay true to these feelings, dont let anyone take them away from you, they´re your own, dont let anybody shame you for who you are.
 
Feces

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You´re right of course, cant dodge the emotional waves either, but I have been in the dark for so long now that even the realization that there CAN be something else for me lets me have a sliver of hope that there can be days where I dont feel shit about myself at all. Gives me something to believe in, its cope after all, when youre not chad or even NT everything is cope, but it actually is something that I want to go forward with and build my life around.
Wouldnt be wrong to assert that I have just accepted my misery, that a lot of people are much nearer to the life I dreamed of for long and I wont ever get there. Accepting that and then still accepting myself as not worthless is important to me though, feel like it will lead me to the happiest possible life for me where theres at least some hope left. My days shouldnt revolve around the happiness of normshits, fuck them, why should I care about what theyre doing if it doesnt apply to me at all anyway? Our reality simply isnt theirs, shouldnt let them give reign over ours still.
Yeah us as individuals shouldnt deserve less then those with lucky genetics and easy lives. Matter of fact we deserve more. I grew up in poverty and violence around me and as ive been working I promised myself ill never allow those things to surround me again. Ofcourse as I said before the hard part is still the emotions. They are still going to be there unless you truly change everything especially the way you think and you distance yourself from the things that cause pain. Which for us in this modern working world is quite hard. Best of luck though.
 
lightskin2thousand0

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Mr.Sophistication

Mr.Sophistication

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Yeah us as individuals shouldnt deserve less then those with lucky genetics and easy lives. Matter of fact we deserve more. I grew up in poverty and violence around me and as ive been working I promised myself ill never allow those things to surround me again. Ofcourse as I said before the hard part is still the emotions. They are still going to be there unless you truly change everything especially the way you think and you distance yourself from the things that cause pain. Which for us in this modern working world is quite hard. Best of luck though.
Thanks a lot friendo, godspeed to you too, hope you succeed with getting yourself out of that bad place, will be major lifefuel when you will have finally made it.
 
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