News The Bachelor will finally have an old man as its leading man and I'm pretty excited.

[FrothySolutions]

'The Golden Bachelor' Gerry Turner, 71, Looking For Love After Wife Of 43 Years Died | Access

"The Golden Bachelor" is here! On Monday, ABC announced who the lead of their new senior spinoff reality show will be. "I'm Gerry, I'm 71-years-young and I'm going to be the next Bachelor because it's never too late to fall in love again," he said during the announcement which aired on "Good...

www.accessonline.com

The Bachelor is femcel TV, I know. I have never seen an episode of it. But I might have to tune into this season. It's relevant to my interests. Because he's old.

As an old person myself, it feels very "over" for me. I seek excitement. I seek the kind of sex life other people would be interested in watching. But old people don't seem very exciting to me. That's why on shows where the implication is "Maybe these people will have sex or something" everyone is young. Like on Floribama Shore. Or Regular Bachelor. But this guy is more like me than any other Bachelor. So I'm wondering "How are they gonna make exciting, sexy TV out of this?" Because if they can, maybe there's hope for an exciting, sexy life in my future. Yes, this is essentially the "I need Superman to be black so I can believe in black superheroes" argument. But unlike with black people, I have not seen one old guy who is living a truly exciting life.

They gotta bring women in, see. And by all rights they should be within his age bracket. If not for social responsibility, for the fact that these women have to want him badly enough to fight for him. And I can't imagine a bunch of twentysomethings or thirtysomethings as upwardly mobile as Bachelor contestants wanting to get with an old guy for any honest reasons. So somehow they have to take an old man, present him and the viewers with a bunch of old ladies, and somehow convince us that these are all spicy, exciting wine sluts with intriguing romances. If nothing else, I have to see how this plays out.

 

[Pancakecel]

mogged again

 

[Robb97]

I literally have more undereye wrinkles than him
jfl at my shit genetics
Nevermind he has a couple more towards the nose and at the sides. But still crazy that he is 71 while I'm in my twenties and my skin looks like complete shit

 

[Robb97]

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Are you serious? 71 years old and this guy just looks like an aged Chad, there's going to be no difference in the show, I haven't even seen the show but it's easy to guess what it's about. Females lusting over Chad is the theme, which is why they love it.

Come back again with the same thread when they star someone as ugly as St Sam on there.

In the other shots you can see his age a lot more. His nasiolabial folds are also really pronounced and his palate looks a bit narrow when he opens his mouth. Very far away from the typical love island chads. I can't see 20something yo foids fighting for him.

 

[Luzifer]

 

[FrothySolutions]

It's happening.

Okay, these aren't spicy, exciting wine sluts. And in hindsight I think it was obvious they never would've been. They're leaning heavy into an overarching moral: Old people starting over. This is gonna be a more wholesome Bachelor. We're meant to look at these women and think "Haha! Oh, you go Grandma. What a sassy and vibrant grandma. Good for Grandma. And good for Grandpa too."

And somehow this is supposed to be inspiring. But so far it does not inspire me.