These are all traits of
autism spectrum disorder. Look into getting diagnosed with it because it can provide you with benefits like NEETbux.
My theory is that autistic "self-stimulatory" and "stereotyped and repetitive" behaviors such as these are due to endogenous opioid system dysregulation. There is good evidence for this, such as stimming farm animals (yes, you read that right) who stop stimming when administered an opioid antagonist (and thus lose the ability for endorphins to properly attach to their opioid receptors, and regulate them at all). The implication is that stimming is a way of stimulating endorphins, and producing a state of emotional equanimity despite stressors.
Indeed, insofar as stimming in autism is often due to the stressors of sensory oversensitivity in particular, it is notable that OPIOID AGONISTS clearly reduce the volume of sensory perceptions (
PAIN being primary among them, and reported by like all autistic people who are "melting down" from sensory overload 
). In my experience, opioid agonists make being in a loud and crowded environment tolerable, for example, when it wouldn't be otherwise.
So there is a clear role of the opioid system in the autistic condition. But in researching the matter, it is important to not place too much emphasis on seemingly positive behavioral changes alone, which can result in the odd (yet convenient) notion that OPIOID ANTAGONISTS are the solution, given how they are observed to stop stimming in autism
(and even cutting in BPD: see below),
As aforementioned, these behavioral changes are simply because opioid antagonists stop endogenous opioids from working at all. But when you consider the fact that stimming in autism (and cutting in BPD) is done precisely in order to
stimulate the release of endorphins in the first place
(cutting the skin literally releases endorphins, hence why people with BPD do it so as to calm themselves down and feel catharsis; and the marked tendency for autistic stimming to go overboard while listening to music in particular is a major sign of an endorphin deficiency, both because the addictive nature of music is known to be due to its effects on endogenous opioids, and because music seems to simultaneously induce sensory overstimulation (i.e., pain) which needs to be compensated for by stimming), then it's obvious that the issues which
cause these behaviors is one of endogenous opioids having a tendency to be/get too low.
What is the reason for the endogenous opioids being or getting too low? Consider what autism and BPD (or even narcissism) have in common: these are both disorders that are rooted in or related to a failure to obtain/secure healthy and meaningful relationships. Indeed, autistic people are overrepresented on this very forum, which is natural because it's literally a forum about failing to secure relationships (or social validation/esteem from sex). So are people with obvious BPD traits. And many have both.
As I've written, the opioid system is what regulates social attachment. So when you have severe problems with social attachment, whether due to the neurological deficits which lead to autism, or the psychological traumas such as sexual/physical/emotional abuse which lead to BPD/narcissism, or both, then your ENODGENOUS OPIOID SYSTEM WILL BE FUCKED UP.
I think that mine was always inherently fucked up due to autism, but my proceeding BRUTAL experiences in life made it much worse, qualifying me for a BPD diagnosis on top of it tbhngl. This would usually manifest itself in substance abuse issues or addiction, given how innumerable addictive substances like alcohol can mask the issue by increasing endorphins, which is why it's remarkable that I've been able to get to the bottom of the issue and all but cure myself instead.
Were it not for my daily use of an opioid agonist plus a stimulant, I would be an addict. If not to substances, then my old addictive behavioral patterns of fapping, listening to music like a madman, playing vidya in a very repetitive and rote way, etc. Probably both.
Indeed, far from me being a "junkie," which some projecting detractors have ironically called me while being demonstrable junkies themselves (JFL), I have been having the most productive and fulfilling time of my life ever since instituting this cure. It was
before taking these drugs that I was a sort of "behavioral" junkie!
Just like pain is at the root of autism (in that sensory overload is a very painful experience which promotes social withdrawal), so is depression. Depression is a very painful experience that promotes social withdrawal, even as it is caused by social withdrawal/rejection/isolation! Ergo opioid agonists, in getting rid of pain, will obviously resolve these issues in the most basic terms. They make up for the fact that there is no caressing person to take care of you and bring you back to health (especially if you were never even healthy in the first place), or teach you how to be. Even a therapist (or especially a therapist) must be quite cold, with a professional detachment, which is why they can do nothing fundamental for you here. And the official medical advice for autism and BPD is quite primitive.
There is nothing "excessive" about opioid use unless you make it so. If you start injecting heroin, then yes, you might die of "excessive happiness." But if you take a low dose oral opioid agonist, then you're just supplementing for a deficiency in opioid tone, and giving yourself the ability to experience happiness for once!
Exercise does not increase endorphins, despite the persistent meme. There was a study where people were given an opioid antagonist, yet still experienced the runner's high. The study concluded that this is because the runner's high has to do with endocannabinoids, not endorphins.
So if cannabis does a lot for you, then perhaps you should exercise instead. But endorphins are another matter.
This accords with my experience btw. If exercise increased endorphins, then I would know by now. It does make you feel good, but in a way reminiscent of weed, not social attachment.
