Those who lived in a depressed rut for many years, did your brain go back to normal?

anon1822

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I sort of have this vague remembrance of how a brain feels when life is somewhat interesting. When you do new things, explore the world, enjoy life. I think that may have happened to me when I was a little child.

But for more than a decade now my brain has been feeling numb, hazy. Every day is more or less the same, though that's expected since I've spent up to 16 hours a day laying in bed with my laptop consuming mind-numbing media.

So I just wonder for those who went through this: did your brain go back to normal? Is the haze lifted, is the numbness gone, does life feel fresh and crisp?
 
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AlexanderTheGreat11

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Never heard of someone who has
 
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It's crazy how much I can relate to everything you write jfl
 
anon1822

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I sort of have this vague remembrance of how a brain feels when life is somewhat interesting. When you do new things, explore the world, enjoy life. I think that may have happened to me when I was a little child.

But for more than a decade now my brain has been feeling numb, hazy. Every day is more or less the same, though that's expected since I've spend up to 16 hours a day laying in bed with my laptop consuming mind-numbing media.

So I just wonder for those who went through this: did your brain go back to normal? Is the haze lifted, is the numbness gone, does life feel fresh and crisp?
Idk but I felt better during this one period since feb-may this year, then I just went on forum and back to normal and the floyd stuff made me depressed because of the whole riot fiasco.
 
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Yes, when I was in my... I wanna say earliest 20s, I was going through this depression where my body would just hurt, I didn't know why, but I felt like all was lost in the world. I couldn't pinpoint just what it was I didn't like about the world.

Eventually I got better.
 
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I sort of have this vague remembrance of how a brain feels when life is somewhat interesting. When you do new things, explore the world, enjoy life. I think that may have happened to me when I was a little child.

But for more than a decade now my brain has been feeling numb, hazy. Every day is more or less the same, though that's expected since I've spent up to 16 hours a day laying in bed with my laptop consuming mind-numbing media.

So I just wonder for those who went through this: did your brain go back to normal? Is the haze lifted, is the numbness gone, does life feel fresh and crisp?
Well I have lived in depression for 12 years now and I don't see a way out so fuck this shit I'm starting to take the matters into my own hands if the light medicals won't work for me like phenibut then I'll just start taking psychadelics, have that brain electro treatment that gives you seizures and top it all of with DMT as the final chance.

If all of the above fails I'll just insanemaxx and cause mental illnesses on purpose to change my personality but that's the last resort.
 
anon1822

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Well I have lived in depression for 12 years now and I don't see a way out so fuck this shit I'm starting to take the matters into my own hands if the light medicals won't work for me like phenibut then I'll just start taking psychadelics, have that brain electro treatment that gives you seizures and top it all of with DMT as the final chance.

If all of the above fails I'll just insanemaxx and cause mental illnesses on purpose to change my personality but that's the last resort.
Ohh wow, you certainly are proactive. Good luck. My planned course of action fits my personality: do nothing. I'm just too lazy. I treat my problems like my extreme depression same as I do my balding or any other problem: put in as little energy as possible, try to not even think about it and just try keeping it out of your mind as much as possible.

It's not a healthy approach but that's just who I am. Idk, maybe if I lived in a better country so I would get a well-paying job and could live alone and do whatever I wanted, things would be better. I'd smoke weed and do psychedelics or at the very least get antidepressants and shit. But as it stands I'm living with my parents and by now I'm way too attached to ever leave them. Not only that I'm barely employable, so when I do get a job it'll probably be something with an average wage, and with $300 or less a month I'm not going to do shit, that's not money that's nothing.

Idk why I'm writing all this, I guess my thought process is just stuck on the same things, I'm a broken record. I can only imagine a better life, but I know my circumstances will be impossible for me to change. Another person might easily get out of my rut, but not me, my mind is a perfect shitstorm of traits that will keep me down, like laziness so big that even thinking about things is too much of a drain on my energy.
 
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Ohh wow, you certainly are proactive. Good luck. My planned course of action fits my personality: do nothing. I'm just too lazy. I treat my problems like my extreme depression same as I do my balding or any other problem: put in as little energy as possible, try to not even think about it and just try keeping it out of your mind as much as possible.

It's not a healthy approach but that's just who I am. Idk, maybe if I lived in a better country so I would get a well-paying job and could live alone and do whatever I wanted, things would be better. I'd smoke weed and do psychedelics or at the very least get antidepressants and shit. But as it stands I'm living with my parents and by now I'm way too attached to ever leave them. Not only that I'm barely employable, so when I do get a job it'll probably be something with an average wage, and with $300 or less a month I'm not going to do shit, that's not money that's nothing.

Idk why I'm writing all this, I guess my thought process is just stuck on the same things, I'm a broken record. I can only imagine a better life, but I know my circumstances will be impossible for me to change. Another person might easily get out of my rut, but not me, my mind is a perfect shitstorm of traits that will keep me down, like laziness so big that even thinking about things is too much of a drain on my energy.
Yeah I designed this plan 1 year ago. It has various stages.

Stage 1: Weed --- [FAILED]
Stage 2: Legal herbs for anxiety / mood lifters / vitamins [FAILED]
Stage 3 Cocaine / booster drugs [FAILED] (Did not lift my mood up significantly even on the height of high).
Stage 4: Gray area treatments and medicals: Phenibut, etc.. [IN-PROGRESS]
Stage 4: Light psychedelics [NOT-STARTED]
Stage 5: Antidepressants / Jew pills [NOT-STARTED]
Stage 6: Electro-magnetic brain treatments [NOT-STARTED]
Stage 7: DMT [NOT-STARTED]
Stage 8: Insanitymaxxing by self-induced mental illnesses with severe personality changes [NOT-STARTED]
Stage 9: Death [SOON]
 
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I never enjoyed life all that much, although I wasn't always as miserable as I am now. It's impossible to really enjoy life when your parents are abusive. As for the brain going back to normal, I think it's possible, brain is plastic after all. It can learn new patterns. Doing something new can help, preferably something involving other people. It won't stop you from being miserable, but it may give you some thrill or maybe even joy, sometimes. I speak from experience.
 
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Your brain is highly plastic so it should be possible to gradually rewire it over time to be more positive. But that also requires positive exposure and experiences in life.
 
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That's weird, weed was awesome for me, genuinely 10/10 experience even with the bad highs. Idk I guess I just love altered states of consciousness, even alcohol was fun for me even though it fucking ruined my life including my health and every other imaginable part of my life. But weed was great, truly unbelievable. I only did magic truffles but they were even more amazing than weed iirc. But they weren't strong enough so I ate a shitload, still not very strong. Ahh, too bad I'll never have the money to do that again (for me it's either enough money to do it daily or never doing it again) or the legal access, no way a loner like me can find any if they're illegal.

Anyway, I recommend if you can getting good antidepressants and go slowly through a bunch of them until you find the right one. May take months to find the right ones, but when you do they can help. That's what I read though, personally in this country going to the psychiatrist is a sentence worse than death so I can't do that.
Hmm, It was alright for me too. However it did not boost my confidence. It is good for relaxing but this is not what I made this treatment plan for. I did not include alcohol on this list because alcohol is one of the thing that actually works however anything that requires me to be pissed drunk to overcome my anxiety is not a workable solution since dating foids while being pissed drunk will not work out unless they are pissed drunk too and to get to that point with them you must first not be drunk at all.

Weed just puts me in the chillout mode it slows me down if anything. Sure it removes my anxiety and makes me feel amazing but it also makes me sound retarded and I would not be able to hold a conversation with a foid in such state.

I am looking at every day workable solutions for anxiety not for things that will make me feel great but won't address the core issue.
 
ADepressedVirgin

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Yeah I designed this plan 1 year ago. It has various stages.
Stage 4: Light psychedelics [NOT-STARTED]
Stage 5: Antidepressants / Jew pills [NOT-STARTED]
Stage 6: Electro-magnetic brain treatments [NOT-STARTED]
Stage 7: DMT [NOT-STARTED]

did all these things and they failed. psychedelics fucked me up even more
 
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did all these things and they failed. psychedelics fucked me up even more
You did DMT?

You did electromagnetic treatment?

I am interested in those two in particular. What were the results? When you say they fucked you up even more do you mean they amplified your anxiety/depression? Go into details, very interested boyo in those two I mentioned in particular.
 
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You did DMT?

You did electromagnetic treatment?

I am interested in those two in particular. What were the results? When you say they fucked you up even more do you mean they amplified your anxiety/depression? Go into details, very interested boyo in those two I mentioned in particular.
yes i extracted a few grams of dmt and put it in e-liquid that i also made. i also grew shrooms. my mom wanted me to do electrofag treatment so i said ok but it changed nothing

btw i stopped smoking the dmt after the first few hits its literaly intense as absolute shit i could not comprehend it
 
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No, I'm not okay. I am slowly losing my mind.
 
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YES


I can see clearly now the rain is gone
I can see all obstacles in my way
Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind
It's gonna be a bright (bright)
Bright (bright) sunshiny day
It's gonna be a bright (bright)
Bright (bright) sunshiny day
Oh, yes I can make it now the pain is gone
All of the bad feelings have disappeared
Here is that rainbow I've been praying for
It's gonna be a bright (bright)
Bright (bright) sunshiny day
Look all around, there's nothing but blue skies
Look straight ahead, there's nothing but blue skies
I can see clearly now the rain is gone
I can see all obstacles in my way
Here is that rainbow I've been praying for
It's gonna be a bright (bright)
Bright (bright) sunshiny day
It's gonna be a bright (bright)
Bright (bright) sunshiny day
Bright (bright) bright (bright)
Bright sunshiny day
It's going to be a bright (bright)
Bright (bright) sunshiny day
It's gonna be a bright (bright)
Bright (bright) sunshiny day
It's gonna be a bright (bright)
Bright (bright) sunshiny day
 
anon1822

anon1822

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Hmm, It was alright for me too. However it did not boost my confidence. It is good for relaxing but this is not what I made this treatment plan for. I did not include alcohol on this list because alcohol is one of the thing that actually works however anything that requires me to be pissed drunk to overcome my anxiety is not a workable solution since dating foids while being pissed drunk will not work out unless they are pissed drunk too and to get to that point with them you must first not be drunk at all.

Weed just puts me in the chillout mode it slows me down if anything. Sure it removes my anxiety and makes me feel amazing but it also makes me sound retarded and I would not be able to hold a conversation with a foid in such state.

I am looking at every day workable solutions for anxiety not for things that will make me feel great but won't address the core issue.
Definitely try to stay away from drugs long-term. It's ok to have some fun but addiction is bad. But actually psychiatrist-prescribed drugs could help you. Therapy/psychology is bullshit, but actual drugs prescribed by psychiatrists is something else altogether. That's actual medicinal stuff, that's science, brain chemistry. They know what they're doing in that regard, so you should invest into this path. Not street drugs like psychedelics, that's bullshit self-treatment. You need proper help from people that studied this shit for years.
YES


I can see clearly now the rain is gone
I can see all obstacles in my way
Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind
It's gonna be a bright (bright)
Bright (bright) sunshiny day
It's gonna be a bright (bright)
Bright (bright) sunshiny day
Oh, yes I can make it now the pain is gone
All of the bad feelings have disappeared
Here is that rainbow I've been praying for
It's gonna be a bright (bright)
Bright (bright) sunshiny day
Look all around, there's nothing but blue skies
Look straight ahead, there's nothing but blue skies
I can see clearly now the rain is gone
I can see all obstacles in my way
Here is that rainbow I've been praying for
It's gonna be a bright (bright)
Bright (bright) sunshiny day
It's gonna be a bright (bright)
Bright (bright) sunshiny day
Bright (bright) bright (bright)
Bright sunshiny day
It's going to be a bright (bright)
Bright (bright) sunshiny day
It's gonna be a bright (bright)
Bright (bright) sunshiny day
It's gonna be a bright (bright)
Bright (bright) sunshiny day
Interesting, what is that?
 
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yes i extracted a few grams of dmt and put it in e-liquid that i also made. i also grew shrooms. my mom wanted me to do electrofag treatment so i said ok but it changed nothing

btw i stopped smoking the dmt after the first few hits its literaly intense as absolute shit i could not comprehend it
Then you did not do it fully.

It supposed to be a life changing experience but you must take a right amount to enter the ego-death. It is extremely intense. Also apparently it's natural and exists in all animals and living creatures.
 
ADepressedVirgin

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Then you did not do it fully.

It supposed to be a life changing experience but you must take a right amount to enter the ego-death. It is extremely intense. Also apparently it's natural and exists in all animals and living creatures.
listen nigger you seem to be under-estimating DMT then because after the first few hits, if you have a negative thought u go straight to hell itself and nothing exists but you and a bunch of demonic entities that are laughing and mocking you. only do dmt if ur a larping fakecel with a decent life already because the odds are you will have a nightmare experience and be scarred with fear for the next few weeks
 
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listen nigger you seem to be under-estimating DMT then because after the first few hits, if you have a negative thought u go straight to hell itself and nothing exists but you and a bunch of demonic entities that are laughing and mocking you. only do dmt if ur a larping fakecel with a decent life already because the odds are you will have a nightmare experience and be scarred with fear for the next few weeks
Good.

That is exactly what I am hoping for. When I was younger I was pretty involved in the neopaganism scene though it's all a big meme tbh. I was astarlprojectionmaxxing and I had multiple sleep paralysis that i induced myself. Eventually the scary demonic monster (who was a foid btw) ended up not fucking with me when one day she got on top of me again and started strangling me as usual but I turned her around and started fucking her in the ass instead. It felt so real and she started to squeal like a real foid so it was hot too. I ended up pissing my bed so I do not recommend this but funny enough after that episode where I raped my sleep paralysis demon in the ass I could no longer self-induce sleep paralysis which are a necessary step to astral projection and out of body experiences. This is pretty sad I have been trying for 2 years straight after that and I could not do it once after that happened.

I think my sleep demon signed a restraining order against me or some shit. I miss her ass tbh was so tight I still remember it to this day. My muscles were super tense though and I woke up imminently after cumming in my half-dream state when that bitch tried to frighten me again.
 
Iwanttolive

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It becomes the new normal :feelshaha:
 
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No, and never will..
 
Studiocel

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Yeah I designed this plan 1 year ago. It has various stages.

Stage 1: Weed --- [FAILED]
Stage 2: Legal herbs for anxiety / mood lifters / vitamins [FAILED]
Stage 3 Cocaine / booster drugs [FAILED] (Did not lift my mood up significantly even on the height of high).
Stage 4: Gray area treatments and medicals: Phenibut, etc.. [IN-PROGRESS]
Stage 4: Light psychedelics [NOT-STARTED]
Stage 5: Antidepressants / Jew pills [NOT-STARTED]
Stage 6: Electro-magnetic brain treatments [NOT-STARTED]
Stage 7: DMT [NOT-STARTED]
Stage 8: Insanitymaxxing by self-induced mental illnesses with severe personality changes [NOT-STARTED]
Stage 9: Death [SOON]
I did shrooms once and it was a pretty positive experience that gave me a different perspective. However drugs are not a good replacement for the positive social experiences normal people have and im still a loser.
 
anon1822

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Name is Abdu, live in Laos, born on 24.08.1992.
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Good.

That is exactly what I am hoping for. When I was younger I was pretty involved in the neopaganism scene though it's all a big meme tbh. I was astarlprojectionmaxxing and I had multiple sleep paralysis that i induced myself. Eventually the scary demonic monster (who was a foid btw) ended up not fucking with me when one day she got on top of me again and started strangling me as usual but I turned her around and started fucking her in the ass instead. It felt so real and she started to squeal like a real foid so it was hot too. I ended up pissing my bed so I do not recommend this but funny enough after that episode where I raped my sleep paralysis demon in the ass I could no longer self-induce sleep paralysis which are a necessary step to astral projection and out of body experiences. This is pretty sad I have been trying for 2 years straight after that and I could not do it once after that happened.

I think my sleep demon signed a restraining order against me or some shit. I miss her ass tbh was so tight I still remember it to this day. My muscles were super tense though and I woke up imminently after cumming in my half-dream state when that bitch tried to frighten me again.
That's the funniest thing I've ever read.
 
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I was depressed for a solid 2 years circa 2011, but I've bounced back and feel sharper than ever.
 
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When I was younger I was pretty involved in the neopaganism scene though it's all a big meme tbh. I was astarlprojectionmaxxing and I had multiple sleep paralysis that i induced myself. Eventually the scary demonic monster (who was a foid btw) ended up not fucking with me when one day she got on top of me again and started strangling me as usual but I turned her around and started fucking her in the ass instead. It felt so real and she started to squeal like a real foid so it was hot too. I ended up pissing my bed so I do not recommend this but funny enough after that episode where I raped my sleep paralysis demon in the ass I could no longer self-induce sleep paralysis which are a necessary step to astral projection and out of body experiences. This is pretty sad I have been trying for 2 years straight after that and I could not do it once after that happened.

I think my sleep demon signed a restraining order against me or some shit. I miss her ass tbh was so tight I still remember it to this day. My muscles were super tense though and I woke up imminently after cumming in my half-dream state when that bitch tried to frighten me again.
:lul: :lul: :lul: :lul: :lul:

Astralprojectionmogs me into the beyond, literally.
 
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Good.

That is exactly what I am hoping for. When I was younger I was pretty involved in the neopaganism scene though it's all a big meme tbh. I was astarlprojectionmaxxing and I had multiple sleep paralysis that i induced myself. Eventually the scary demonic monster (who was a foid btw) ended up not fucking with me when one day she got on top of me again and started strangling me as usual but I turned her around and started fucking her in the ass instead. It felt so real and she started to squeal like a real foid so it was hot too. I ended up pissing my bed so I do not recommend this but funny enough after that episode where I raped my sleep paralysis demon in the ass I could no longer self-induce sleep paralysis which are a necessary step to astral projection and out of body experiences. This is pretty sad I have been trying for 2 years straight after that and I could not do it once after that happened.

I think my sleep demon signed a restraining order against me or some shit. I miss her ass tbh was so tight I still remember it to this day. My muscles were super tense though and I woke up imminently after cumming in my half-dream state when that bitch tried to frighten me again.
Just fuck a demon theory.