Some chill music to set the mood for discussion:
Self-Harm is a form of narcissism. Same for shitting on yourself. It's tied to the assumption that you have value and somehow you are not living up to your inherent value, and therefore you have to self-destroy out of shame. It's like you think you are some sort of nobleman, samurai who has to commit harakiri because he failed to live up to Bushido.
If you really had no expectations for yourself, if you really thought you are worthless and incapable of anything, why would you beat yourself up? You can only blame yourself when you have expectations for yourself.
In reality you are just coping with falling short of your own standards, which you don't want to acknowledge you have. And these standards in turn probably are somehow related to getting validation from women, or rather, your mom.
OOOOHHHHH
More below.
Btw this is also a fascinating thing: Narcissism is ok in the right context. Often men are accused of being immature, self-obsessed etc. However, this goes away when the man is self-centered in a way that serves society/women.
Take male-hyperagency for example. Everything is about you as a man. Everything is you you you you. Everything is your fault, every mistake in your life is your fault.
You are a man so you have to be capable of anything, you are supposed to bend reality like you are the avatar.
View: https://giphy.com/gifs/aang-gif-avatar-GbUrFXadBryQ8
But this is clearly a form of extreme solipsism, narcissism, just with the gun turned on yourself, not other people. Making yourself the center of everything, like the strands of fate all coalesce in you as a single individual, is probably the most self-centered shit I have ever heard. Literally narc level of Kira from Death Note, but it's ok if you do it for women.
This male hyper-agency is a double edge sword, similar to just-world-fallacy.
When the life is shit, the man blames himself.
When the life is good, the man feels morally superior to extreme degree, for no reason.
So either way, it causes harm.
A good example of this is how the most common words in male suicide notes are "useless" and "worthless."
View: https://medium.com/invisible-illness/a-researcher-studied-the-most-common-last-words-of-suicidal-men-e3b5e5c19c9c
It would be much more humble and healthier to say you have no control over your life and things merely are what they are. But society wants men to be constantly fretting about, blaming themselves, beating themselves up for things way out of their grasp.
There is also an element of abuse here that is commonly seen in men raised by single-mothers.
They are raised to feel responsible for the mothers dysfunction. The mother blames them for her bad decisions, but frames it so the child perceives itself as the perpetrator.
"Oooh I wanted a house, now I cant get that anymore!" (cries) - the boy child will instinctively comfort his mother and say something like "mom, when im grown up im buying you a house!" and the mom will go "oh you are so silly! sniff sniff, you are a good boy, you know that?"
This is abuse. The example I gave can happen in different variations but inevitably, the abuser creates a trauma bond with the child. Children are dependent on their parents, so when the parents are in distress, the child tries to fix the parent by adjusting it's behavior. This can take the form of becoming a people-pleaser or developing introversion (getting out of the way of the parent to avoid causing it stress).
Even in intact families, this occurs. The mother vilifies the dad deliberately, thus creating an in-group between her and the children. She makes it so that to the child it seems like it's here and the children vs. the father.
The way this works is that the mother spoils the children on purpose, then the father tries to stop this and the mother vilifies the dad to the children later.
If you watch street-interview videos, the children always say they love mom more than dad.
View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bVATtKo9UWA
This has nothing to do with the dad being a worse parent, it is simply comes down to mothers vilifying the father by keeping the children trapped in a shallow version of the "good cop - bad cop" routine, the father being the bad cop of course.
Another thing women do is deliberately upsetting the father and then having a fake crying breakdown and letting the kids comfort her.
View: https://www.reddit.com/r/Mommit/comments/z0krc0/my_toddler_comforted_crying_me/
As you can see, people view this behavior as positive when women do it but negative if a man does it.
In the manosphere they used to call the resulting trauma bonding with the mother "the male mother need."
There used to be frequent discussion on how to overcome it, but I am not aware of any solutions.
This last point is also really important.
Let's not forget that grown men are just grown up children.
The fathers in these families were also raised by mothers, who subjected them to the same trauma based mind control techniques I described. From a mothers perspective in a family, the father is just another child she is toying with.
Thus, we see the same emotional manipulation methods applied to the father and the kids.
Observing this in every family I have ever seen for my entire life, I do not understand on any level why a man would want to be in a relationship.
Sex is pleasurable and women are probably fun for a short while, but in the long run... I have never seen a man without damage from a female.
Either from their mom, divorce or some other way.
It's not a coincidence that women were described as a vice in the ancient world, often mentioned in the same breath as greed, alcohol and the like.
Ecclesiastes 7:26
Picture: Saint Anthony, the father of monasticism, chilling in the desert with his pig fren:
(im eating bacon rn
)Just like drugs, women are fun for a while, but then they start taking their toll, slowly eroding your entire being. And just like drugs, once you are stuck with them, it's hard to get rid of them. I have noticed that men that have been in relationships with women for a long time are always sucked dry.
There is little drive, motivation. No lifeblood. They often just say nothing while their "better half" (gynocratic term) verbally scourges them in front of the entire congregation. They have learned through harsh experience that the last word is a womans prerogative. You can not win, they don't argue to make a point, they argue to submit their lesser-thans (the bf or husband).
Even if you win the argument logically and you refuse to give in, she will either threaten to break up with you, start crying and say you abuse her, run to her female friends or mom, make you sleep on the couch, threaten divorce etc.
This is emotional manipulation and also demonstrates that, contrary to redpill belief, women actually do know exactly what they are doing. Redpillers often fall into the female-hypoagency trap in saying "you can not blame women, they don't know what they are doing. Getting mad at them is like getting mad at a shark for biting you."
Meanwhile, women's actions completely betray this notion, since women
- threaten self harm = they know they have value
- threaten to leave you = they know you can't get another woman easily = they know they have value
- constantly preface everything with: "as a woman," "as a mom," etc... again indicating they know that being a woman gives them special privilege
- say in arrest videos "you can not do this, I am a woman"
and so forth.
Women flex their power to threaten their children and partners into submission. Just like the beta-buxxer can be threatened with her leaving or withdrawing affections, so the children can be threatened with being deprived of their mothers presence or affections. This is why I said, there is principally no difference between a mother-son relationship and a wife-husband/bf-gf relationship.
An example of this: Women will take on responsibilities in the household to exert control. Then they complain that nobody is helping her with her responsibilities. But when the husband tries to help, she attacks him for it. This creates mental-conflict in the husband or boyfriend. He does not know what to do, so eventually he just becomes apathetic. This is why long-term husbands always seem so dead inside.
Even 100 years ago, early behaviorist scientists quickly discovered that exposing an animal to reward and punishment randomly just lead to the animal withdrawing and developing learned helplessness.
Another example of female manipulation that also overlaps with husbands/boyfriends being like children to women:
They micro-manage their partners life. For instance many here will have observed how their mom arranges doctors appointments for their father and other things, while their dad just goes along with it.
This also applies to the finances. Often the husband just hands over the money and does not even know how much is in the account.
example, timestamp 2:20:
View: https://youtu.be/AT3fsRCbT_s?t=142
The husbands wife took money from another woman that was going through a divorce. The other woman was trying to hide assets from her soon-to-be ex-husband.
This alone is a blackpill many mgtow guys talk about. Women plan their divorce ahead for years. They hide money from you etc. The video is a classic example.
If you want in-depth knowledge of the shit women do in preparation to dumping you, read this old Manosphere manual about protecting yourself against it:
Fire Your Wife.pdf
Fire Your Wife FireYourWife.com First Edition Copyright © 2004 Jon Hertzog. IMPORTANT This book is not a legal text and the information contained within does not constitute legal advice. The author is not a lawyer and does not claim to be a lawyer. The words in this book constitute an expression...
www.docdroid.net
These are not western phenomena btw. In SEA it has always been in the culture for the husband to hand over his salary while his wife just gives him an allowance.
As I always say, laws are build on human nature, not arbitrarily drawn up.
All cultures and societies function the same way fundamentally. You can go to asia and foids will literally say the same shit, word for word, that western bitches say.
Try it, translate some korean youtube comments for example. It's whack when you start seeing this.
It's just that sometimes provisions to deal with human nature stay cultural, conventional. And sometimes they are put into law.
Examples:
Why men give their entire salary to their wives to spend in Japan
Most Japanese men hand over their salaries to their wives
www.pulse.ng
Is it a myth that a significant number of Japanese husbands hand over their salaries to their wives for management?
Answer (1 of 7): This kind of question tends to be answered based on what they heard 50 years back. Let’s take a look at the reality today. There is research by a company held in 2020. [1] 1. 79.3% of the answerers are double-income households. 2. In 62.8% of households, the wife is in charge o...
Reddit - Dive into anything
www.reddit.com
Why male Japanese wage-earners have only 'pocket money'
Japan may be known for having mostly male business leaders and politicians, but at home, it's mainly the women who control the purse strings.
www.bbc.com
View: https://www.reddit.com/r/VietNam/comments/1737fvn/is_it_common_for_us_vietnamese_guys_to_give_most/
In the west, this is no different, with women controlling 80% of customer purchases on average.
This means that between 40-50% of the money women spend comes from men.
The Purchasing Power of Women: Statistics | Girlpower Marketing
Women control over $20 trillion in world-wide spending. Learn more about the purchasing power of women, from Millennials to Baby Boomers, in various markets
girlpowermarketing.com
So as we can see, the situation in Asia where women control all the finances of their husband is literally identical to what is happening in the west.
This is also not a new phenomenon, see this article about the 1930s:
Research Guides: Consumer Advertising During the Great Depression: A Resource Guide: Gender and Advertising
This guide explores primary and secondary sources that examine the advertising industry from 1929 to 1933, including advertising agencies, consumer protection groups, and topical sources on gender, race, and radio in advertising.
guides.loc.gov
So we can see that women control quite literally every aspect of men's lives since childhood. Husbands, boyfriends and sons are all identical to women.
When a man tries to escape the patronizing manipulation clap trap that women put him in, they threaten emotional torture or worse.
The sheer gall of redpillers to say that women are not aware that they have this power is insane. Consider this: Imagine you had 1000s of girls hitting on your online and IRL everyday since the age of 13. How would you not be aware of the power you hold?
Anyway, back to the topic at hand.
Many of us still have that really basic need to get female validation. All our actions and desires are informed by it. In our daydreams there is always a woman watching us while we play the hero. I wonder if this stems from the deliberate emotional neglect women practice on their infant sons, withdrawing and giving affection conditionally.
Think about everything I laid out so far and then put yourself in a womans shoes.
From a womans perspective, men are a joke.
A single nipple slip and a mans brain is wiped, clean slate, formatted to foid-file system, ready to be imprinted with her instructions.
Society is a cult, complete with trauma-bonding, initiation rituals, religious rites and so on.
It just does not seem like that to us because we take it all for granted since we grow up with it.
People rave against extremism, fascism, whatever. But all of us hold really extreme beliefs without even realizing it.
I already explained in my "psychopathy" thread how women use tactics like "love-bombing" to trap men in relationships. Another common female tactic is "DARVO" - "Deny, attack, reverse victim and offender."
Any study of common psychological manipulation methods will instantly make you think of your mom or other women in your life.
Men simply do not use these, they can't even do it because they have no leverage with other people.
This is a good book with little fluff, listing 30 very common methods:
182 KB file on MEGA
(it's an epub file, so get an ebook reader like foliate, or a browser add-on to read it)
Another common info-sheet:
Btw never let anyone accuse of you being an extremist.
Everyone is an extremist.
Even saying you should not be an extremist is an extreme position.
"You should always take the middle way, the balanced position." - that is an absolute claim. "You should always do x."
Back to the topic of female manipulation. There is an old book called "the anatomy of female power."
The author breaks down female power into "cradle power," kitchen power" and so on. Basically how women control your entire life since birth, from cradle, to marriage, your household etc.
Anatomy Of Female Power by Chinweizu PDF (no missing pages) : Free Download, Borrow, and Streaming : Internet Archive
ANATOMY_OF_FEMALE_POWER_On_African_Men_Sacrifice_And_African_Women_Venality
archive.org
The book is great. There is one passage where he describes how he talked to a mother who was smothering her baby in kisses.
And she said, "it's good to start them early." (paraphrasing)
This is literally emotional manipulation. She is priming the infant to seek affection from her conditionally.
If mom does not give affection = pain = I did something wrong = find way to please mom.
page 33:
Also this is interesting, mothers force gender roles on kids more than dads.
Mothers Push Gender Stereotypes More Than Fathers, Study Reveals
The gender stereotype that says “boys don’t cry” is being perpetuated implicitly by mothers more than fathers, a new University of Guelph study has revealed. Prof. Kristel Thomassin found mothers may…
news.uoguelph.ca
I believe this is why women are more prone to believing into things like "gender is a social construct."
From the perspective of a mother that enforces gender roles on husband, boyfriend and her children her entire life, gender is indeed something she constructs.
This also jives well with my "masculinity is an actual social construct" thread, where I showed a study that explored why you can loose your "masculinity-card" but not your "woman-card." It's because masculinity is dependent on how women define it. Women can withdraw the man-card, but men can not withdraw it from other men.
In contrast, women just have inherent value in the eyes of society.
And since women are the only group in society with an inherent in-group preference, they effectively are society.
And so they can dictate what masculinity is, while maintaining that they as a group have inherent value (man's value is contingent on women validating him. That's why all anti-male insults are about how you cant serve women - small dick, virgin, etc).
Masculinity is an actual social construct and More - Studies
"You're not a real woman!" Said no one ever. Why? Why does that only work on men? The answer is two-fold 1. women have inherent value, you can't loose your woman card because being a woman is synonymous with having female flesh. 2. masculinity as its propagated by women and society largely...
incels.is
Anyway this is too long already, I am just dumping some thoughts from my head and hope to get some discussion going.
I'm out.
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