I claim in various safe situations IRL or on the Internet that I'm empahtetic toward society outcasts.
I tend to be genuinely nice to strangers, mostly because I subconsciously know that it's a one-time situation, I'll never meet them again.
But when people of perceived lower position than mine are oresent in my life for a longer time, I tend to be controlling, manipulative douchebag around
and get abusive when my "victims" don't do as I wish.
I caught myself analysing my attitude toward certain, significant people in my life.
My mother fits the definition of a hikkikomori almost to the tee. Years of being a shut-in, ridden with anxiety, eating more antidepressants and hypnotics than regular food.
I barely show respect to her and I'm only nice to her when I'm in a good mood AND she does as expected.
When things go out of my control, I gaslight her or make threats.
I had a partner during college classes, a fat recluse with bad acne, jittery guy and probably autistic, he went NEET after finishing college and never heard of him ever since.
He was an object of my jabs, never gave a fuck about how he's really doing.
I was often getting impatient with his performance as an assist or doctor when it was my turn in assisting him by the dental chair. It's not like I was much better when I was seeing patients as a student-doctor.
If I went for a girl, I was interested in and got shot down, because trucecel, duh. I frequently used to go into bluepill rage and tried to antagonize everyone against the one who rejected me.
Last example is the most offensive, because it's about you.
When I do poor in my life, because I mess something up, get rejected or whatever, I have less problems connecting with you.
However, when things get better, I start acting like I figure out everything this world has to offer and offer some platitudes without thinking whther they make sense.
Other times, I look at your posts, where you seem geniunely upset about something and I think "What the fuck is this guy on about?" As if we were completely different.
I tend to be genuinely nice to strangers, mostly because I subconsciously know that it's a one-time situation, I'll never meet them again.
But when people of perceived lower position than mine are oresent in my life for a longer time, I tend to be controlling, manipulative douchebag around
and get abusive when my "victims" don't do as I wish.
I caught myself analysing my attitude toward certain, significant people in my life.
My mother fits the definition of a hikkikomori almost to the tee. Years of being a shut-in, ridden with anxiety, eating more antidepressants and hypnotics than regular food.
I barely show respect to her and I'm only nice to her when I'm in a good mood AND she does as expected.
When things go out of my control, I gaslight her or make threats.
I had a partner during college classes, a fat recluse with bad acne, jittery guy and probably autistic, he went NEET after finishing college and never heard of him ever since.
He was an object of my jabs, never gave a fuck about how he's really doing.
I was often getting impatient with his performance as an assist or doctor when it was my turn in assisting him by the dental chair. It's not like I was much better when I was seeing patients as a student-doctor.
If I went for a girl, I was interested in and got shot down, because trucecel, duh. I frequently used to go into bluepill rage and tried to antagonize everyone against the one who rejected me.
Last example is the most offensive, because it's about you.
When I do poor in my life, because I mess something up, get rejected or whatever, I have less problems connecting with you.
However, when things get better, I start acting like I figure out everything this world has to offer and offer some platitudes without thinking whther they make sense.
Other times, I look at your posts, where you seem geniunely upset about something and I think "What the fuck is this guy on about?" As if we were completely different.
