Hi everyone. I am new here. I was once desperate to fix things, but I now accept I can't and I just give up. I will never ever get laid, and I hated that idea forever. Thinking this may be my lifestyle - I am just declaring that I am giving up on ever being with a woman - it will not happen, ever. I have not even kissed a girl in my entire life, and I swear I have tried for over a decade!
I tried dating all through junior high, high school, and college. No girls were interested. Why?
I am 5 feet tall, and I am exaggerating a bit (more like 4'11").
I have never weighed over 120 lbs in my life, and I naturally seem to always be at 114-116 pounds. I have zero muscles, skinny arms and wrists and ankles and neck and shoulders, and I went to the gym and worked out hard for years. The only muscle group that grew were my glutes (whcih is a problem I will explain in a second). Squats and lunges worked, but upper body did nothing. Nothing. I visited doctors and health care centers, begging for male hormone treatments, and they just turned me away. I grew little facial or body hair and my voice is more like a girls than a guys. Lastly, I have a small d!ck.
The absolute and devastatingly worst part of it all, and I have heard this answer almost every time I tried to get a girl to go out with me, is that girls say I am (1) too pretty or (2) I look like a boy or, worse, I (3) look like a girl. A zillion quotes run through my head daily about things like that girls have said to me over and over and over again. I have been mistaken as a girl all my life, and I hated it.
I have had girls as 'friends', and have spent my life in the friend zone with every girl I knew. I am not scared of girls, I am really attracted to them. They have no problem hanging with me because I am not a threat. Their boyfriends do not care as they see me the same way. In college (I graduated last year) I used to get dragged to the mall to help my girl friends shop, which was the only way to hang out and I hoped they'd see the good in me and I might have a shot. No such luck. I ended up carrying the shopping bags full of clothing and heels and shit and never was seen as anything than a shopping buddy.
When at the mall, girls are like "Lets get you something." I always refuse, as I have to shop in the boys department. This one girl insisted, and it was embarassing. Everything fit me when I tried on boys size 10, except the pants didn't fit. The jacket was fine, but the waist was too big (I am a 26" waist) and my butt didn't fit vecasue iof all the workouts. This girl said "You have a girls ass." and she was right to say it. Fuck it was awful.
One incident explains a lot. It was the closest I ever got to getting laid. This hot chick brought me back to her place and said she wanted to do a makeover on me. I was like "What?" She said she wanted to dress me up as a girl. I said "NF way!" Back and forth, it was embarrassing, but she said if I let her do it she'd give me a blowjob, so I very reluctantly said yes. I wanted that blowjob! After an hour she was done, she insisted on taking pictures, and when the moment came she laughed at my size (I am just under 4' and thin) and she laughed and called it a clitty. I was so fucking angry. That incident, along with all the ones leading up to it, has damaged me greatly. She posted my pics on her IG account and luckily no one saw me as that chick, but they are still up despite my requests to take them down. The comments from the guys were not repeatable.
My lifelong experience with women has been horrible. I have been super nice and caring and a good friend. But I am short, thin, and never became some alpha stud and I will never ever have a shot at sex. It is traumatizing.
Anyway, I accept this now. I am not sure what to do next, but I am going to withdraw from being around women as it has degraded and humiliated me.
Looking forward to learning and growing here. I am going to start going to the gym starting in the morning,
I tried dating all through junior high, high school, and college. No girls were interested. Why?
I am 5 feet tall, and I am exaggerating a bit (more like 4'11").
I have never weighed over 120 lbs in my life, and I naturally seem to always be at 114-116 pounds. I have zero muscles, skinny arms and wrists and ankles and neck and shoulders, and I went to the gym and worked out hard for years. The only muscle group that grew were my glutes (whcih is a problem I will explain in a second). Squats and lunges worked, but upper body did nothing. Nothing. I visited doctors and health care centers, begging for male hormone treatments, and they just turned me away. I grew little facial or body hair and my voice is more like a girls than a guys. Lastly, I have a small d!ck.
The absolute and devastatingly worst part of it all, and I have heard this answer almost every time I tried to get a girl to go out with me, is that girls say I am (1) too pretty or (2) I look like a boy or, worse, I (3) look like a girl. A zillion quotes run through my head daily about things like that girls have said to me over and over and over again. I have been mistaken as a girl all my life, and I hated it.
I have had girls as 'friends', and have spent my life in the friend zone with every girl I knew. I am not scared of girls, I am really attracted to them. They have no problem hanging with me because I am not a threat. Their boyfriends do not care as they see me the same way. In college (I graduated last year) I used to get dragged to the mall to help my girl friends shop, which was the only way to hang out and I hoped they'd see the good in me and I might have a shot. No such luck. I ended up carrying the shopping bags full of clothing and heels and shit and never was seen as anything than a shopping buddy.
When at the mall, girls are like "Lets get you something." I always refuse, as I have to shop in the boys department. This one girl insisted, and it was embarassing. Everything fit me when I tried on boys size 10, except the pants didn't fit. The jacket was fine, but the waist was too big (I am a 26" waist) and my butt didn't fit vecasue iof all the workouts. This girl said "You have a girls ass." and she was right to say it. Fuck it was awful.
One incident explains a lot. It was the closest I ever got to getting laid. This hot chick brought me back to her place and said she wanted to do a makeover on me. I was like "What?" She said she wanted to dress me up as a girl. I said "NF way!" Back and forth, it was embarrassing, but she said if I let her do it she'd give me a blowjob, so I very reluctantly said yes. I wanted that blowjob! After an hour she was done, she insisted on taking pictures, and when the moment came she laughed at my size (I am just under 4' and thin) and she laughed and called it a clitty. I was so fucking angry. That incident, along with all the ones leading up to it, has damaged me greatly. She posted my pics on her IG account and luckily no one saw me as that chick, but they are still up despite my requests to take them down. The comments from the guys were not repeatable.
My lifelong experience with women has been horrible. I have been super nice and caring and a good friend. But I am short, thin, and never became some alpha stud and I will never ever have a shot at sex. It is traumatizing.
Anyway, I accept this now. I am not sure what to do next, but I am going to withdraw from being around women as it has degraded and humiliated me.
Looking forward to learning and growing here. I am going to start going to the gym starting in the morning,
