I have a few methods at hand.
At first we would have the boulder, But little bit smaller yet big rock
1 I would attach this to my neck and throw it down, It would then make me fall head first and kill me by exploding my head.
2nd roping with an actual rope, Tried 3 times this year and failed the gag reflex thing in my throat pushing against the rope makes it extremely painful and i swallow upwards and it collides with the rope.
3 Euthanasia in belgium if i am able to
4 Jump from Eiffel tower tallest point with heavy thing attached to my head so i will fall head first and splat.
I had a botched surgery that has ruined my ability to function and gives me extreme chronic pain, The doctors in my country refuse to even look or talk about my damage or fix it where they would fix others they are rude and dismissive to me, I also have ADHD so socializing is over for me basically and autism.
I have severe anxiety and barely leave the house other than getting groceries at some points.
I have no reason to live as i am told its my fault i cannot have children and im not entitled to having a family so my life is basiclaly useless.
Another point is, Id not like to live rotting infront of whatever, Whether a book a vidya and whatever in pain the rest of my life.
Another point, What i was born with was collapsing aleredy from day 1 and looked horrible so it never really began.
Another point, I have too big goals and dreams and ambitions but despite trying to reach them, The goverment always taxx the shit out of me so i barely make a cent.
Another point: Whenever i try something or join anything, I am always told that i dont belong somewhere.
i then try joining something else and its the same again, Im just too ugly.
Another point: Another year of loniness and watching couples outside when i DO go outside is pure suifuel because i once had a goal towards this with self improvement since 15-21, Personality, Soft looksmaxxing, And now a failed nosejob which has cost me my health which hospital refuse to look at.
The fact that my parents are getting tired of me whining about the pain and that i feel like a burden for trying to fix a birth defect, They come with gaslit rather than understanding.
Another point, I dont want to look like a jew living in a nordic country should my nose fully collapse and would rather commit suicide.
Another point: I am extremely mentally unwell, I have OCD and sometimes i panic even the slightest thought can send me into complete mania.
Another point: My ADHD has made a living hell living with my family where i always got timeouts rather than understanding.
Another point: Im now being given medicine for my damage but it doesnt help and my thing is curving day by day and im watching the old boy come back which has ruined my face from day one and social life.
Another point: I am stuck on welfare with no resume and a gap year of 3 years so there will be no job for me except shitty paid jobs, They will just place me there thru the welfare center and have the welfare center pay me instead so the business get free labor, This has happened in the past where im forced to work long hours for scraps till my mentality just collapse, This goverment is evil!
Another point: I cant see myself living as a subhuman anymore, They say Were all gonna make it but i dont think imma make it boyos.
The goverment wants me dead, My family see me as a burden, And trying to have them sit down with me is too much of a task than just watering a plant.
To get the right medical health i need in one of the richest countries i live in, I think surviving mount everest completely naked and not freezing to death is more successfull than getting help here.
The fact that im autistic prey eyes, Wonky nose, And ugly, With extremely bluepilled parents makes me just wanna rope.
My mother doesnt even care about this, She says, Medical problems you talk to stepdad, I distance myself from this.
I have nothing to look forward to other than a long long rot with videogames i dont even enjoy anymore and a mind that is slowly declining.
My memory is going bad, All the joints in my body hurts and the fact that my medical problem prevents me from working out makes my health in extreme risk so im going to die of cardiovascular disease anyway.
I think in all, I was born to die and there is no end in sight for my pain.
I set this dato as its 1 year from now, Its not a definite date so im not sure im 100% choosing that day.
Im just tired of rotting, I rotted since i was born with legos up until 15 got job, Work, Rot, Come home, Work rot come home, Been like that all my life, I eventually got myself into gaming on PC, it was fun at first and now it doesnt feel the same anymore, At 17 i got into college and finished then got back to work rot work rot work rot work rot, My life has been a story of work, School and rotting and being bullied and ridiculed, I see no end in sight.
Ive always wanted to have a social circle and glide thru life, I thought things would get better after schools/college, Sadly it never did.
If i could get a GF i would have had one by now, Sadly my face is so repulsive even the most troglodytic foid has rejected me.
Its fucking over, There is no end in sight for the misery awaiting me, I was born to rot.
At first we would have the boulder, But little bit smaller yet big rock
1 I would attach this to my neck and throw it down, It would then make me fall head first and kill me by exploding my head.
2nd roping with an actual rope, Tried 3 times this year and failed the gag reflex thing in my throat pushing against the rope makes it extremely painful and i swallow upwards and it collides with the rope.
3 Euthanasia in belgium if i am able to
4 Jump from Eiffel tower tallest point with heavy thing attached to my head so i will fall head first and splat.
I had a botched surgery that has ruined my ability to function and gives me extreme chronic pain, The doctors in my country refuse to even look or talk about my damage or fix it where they would fix others they are rude and dismissive to me, I also have ADHD so socializing is over for me basically and autism.
I have severe anxiety and barely leave the house other than getting groceries at some points.
I have no reason to live as i am told its my fault i cannot have children and im not entitled to having a family so my life is basiclaly useless.
Another point is, Id not like to live rotting infront of whatever, Whether a book a vidya and whatever in pain the rest of my life.
Another point, What i was born with was collapsing aleredy from day 1 and looked horrible so it never really began.
Another point, I have too big goals and dreams and ambitions but despite trying to reach them, The goverment always taxx the shit out of me so i barely make a cent.
Another point: Whenever i try something or join anything, I am always told that i dont belong somewhere.
i then try joining something else and its the same again, Im just too ugly.
Another point: Another year of loniness and watching couples outside when i DO go outside is pure suifuel because i once had a goal towards this with self improvement since 15-21, Personality, Soft looksmaxxing, And now a failed nosejob which has cost me my health which hospital refuse to look at.
The fact that my parents are getting tired of me whining about the pain and that i feel like a burden for trying to fix a birth defect, They come with gaslit rather than understanding.
Another point, I dont want to look like a jew living in a nordic country should my nose fully collapse and would rather commit suicide.
Another point: I am extremely mentally unwell, I have OCD and sometimes i panic even the slightest thought can send me into complete mania.
Another point: My ADHD has made a living hell living with my family where i always got timeouts rather than understanding.
Another point: Im now being given medicine for my damage but it doesnt help and my thing is curving day by day and im watching the old boy come back which has ruined my face from day one and social life.
Another point: I am stuck on welfare with no resume and a gap year of 3 years so there will be no job for me except shitty paid jobs, They will just place me there thru the welfare center and have the welfare center pay me instead so the business get free labor, This has happened in the past where im forced to work long hours for scraps till my mentality just collapse, This goverment is evil!
Another point: I cant see myself living as a subhuman anymore, They say Were all gonna make it but i dont think imma make it boyos.
The goverment wants me dead, My family see me as a burden, And trying to have them sit down with me is too much of a task than just watering a plant.
To get the right medical health i need in one of the richest countries i live in, I think surviving mount everest completely naked and not freezing to death is more successfull than getting help here.
The fact that im autistic prey eyes, Wonky nose, And ugly, With extremely bluepilled parents makes me just wanna rope.
My mother doesnt even care about this, She says, Medical problems you talk to stepdad, I distance myself from this.
I have nothing to look forward to other than a long long rot with videogames i dont even enjoy anymore and a mind that is slowly declining.
My memory is going bad, All the joints in my body hurts and the fact that my medical problem prevents me from working out makes my health in extreme risk so im going to die of cardiovascular disease anyway.
I think in all, I was born to die and there is no end in sight for my pain.
I set this dato as its 1 year from now, Its not a definite date so im not sure im 100% choosing that day.
Im just tired of rotting, I rotted since i was born with legos up until 15 got job, Work, Rot, Come home, Work rot come home, Been like that all my life, I eventually got myself into gaming on PC, it was fun at first and now it doesnt feel the same anymore, At 17 i got into college and finished then got back to work rot work rot work rot work rot, My life has been a story of work, School and rotting and being bullied and ridiculed, I see no end in sight.
Ive always wanted to have a social circle and glide thru life, I thought things would get better after schools/college, Sadly it never did.
If i could get a GF i would have had one by now, Sadly my face is so repulsive even the most troglodytic foid has rejected me.
Its fucking over, There is no end in sight for the misery awaiting me, I was born to rot.
