Venting It all got a bit much tonight. Considered roping for the first time.

Kimble

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I've been severely depressed for just under ten years. The tenth anniversary will be November 2021.

I'll be 36 next week, and I've forgot what it means to be happy. The realisation that your looks are not up to par is such a slow, slow burner. Well, for me anyway.

I was never called ugly outright, but my rejection has been almost 100%. People don't typically want to be cruel to your face, and I'm thankful that nobody really bullied me as a child, and I went to an all-male school were relationships and looks weren't really a conversation topic.

As I reflect on my life, I can however pinpoint every single soft (yet absolute) rejection from women I've been attracted to. The moments when I realised the difference between confident and creepy was down to your looks.

My brother has never had any problems with women. He has hundreds of solid matches on Tinder, and regularly goes for dates with women I can only dream of being with. Naturally, he takes it all in his stride.

At a barbecue a few years back, my grandmother introduced us to guests and finished off his introduction with "…he's the good looking one". I was devastated. Crushed. Humiliated. Brutally embarrassed.

He's just out of a lengthy relationship where he'd bring her to every social event, family gathering and dinner alongside myself, a constant reflection of my sub humanity and failure. He of course broke up with her.

Within a month or two, he was back on Tinder and absolutely crushing it. And who could blame him.

As I heard about his busy schedule of dates today, that creeping bitterness, resentment, jealousy, self-loathing and internalised rage seared my heart, causing me to seethe with anger. I've tried so much to looksmax, pleasuremax, personalitymax, everything.

Nothing. Works.

I'm so tired.

I've just finished a 5km run — I would recommend it to any of you.

 
IncelCream

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Here some videos to cheer you up




 
THE TRUE HONKLER

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If I were a grAYcel for almost 3 years id rope too
 
D

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I've just finished a 5km run — I would recommend it to any of you.
Running is a good cope can confirm, especially at midnight when the streets are empty.
 
coldmachinery

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When your gone, they'll just find another monster. They have to. To justify their hatred.
 
watcher

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I've just finished a 5km run — I would recommend it to any of you.
Mogs me. I feel like dying after running for 2km and I am not even fat
 
yikerinos

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Holy shit man this is so fucking brutal.

Idk what's worse, the soft rejections like you described, or when people calls you ugly like it's nothing, as your gma did. They do that shit because they don't realize how much looks matter so they think it's ok to casually call someone ugly, the absolute worst thing a person can be. ERFUEL.
 
BummerDrummer

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Such is life in jew world orde
 
Copexodius Maximus

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have you tried psychedelic maxxxing?
 
Kimble

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have you tried psychedelic maxxxing?
I can't even smoke a few puffs of a joint without deep, deep paranoia and total depersonalisation setting in. As much as I'd like to enjoy it, it's an express ticket to schizophrenia for 3 hours. Uppers I can handle, until the comedown sets in.
 
keksofthebest

keksofthebest

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I hope that one day you'll find peace. It's brutal but once you feel peace after all the brutality that peace is going to feel like heaven.
 
Copexodius Maximus

Copexodius Maximus

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I can't even smoke a few puffs of a joint without deep, deep paranoia and total depersonalisation setting in. As much as I'd like to enjoy it, it's an express ticket to schizophrenia for 3 hours. Uppers I can handle, until the comedown sets in.
weed is shit. I'm talking about something like mushrooms, maybe 5g in silent darkness.
 
Kimble

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I hope that one day you'll find peace. It's brutal but once you feel peace after all the brutality that peace is going to feel like heaven.
I appreciate that. Thanks brother – same to you…to all of us.
weed is shit. I'm talking about something like mushrooms, maybe 5g in silent darkness.
My brother has tried to get me on shrooms and 2CB but the fear of a schizophrenic attack setting in makes me avoid them like the plague.
 
Idlevillagercel

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At a barbecue a few years back, my grandmother introduced us to guests and finished off his introduction with "…he's the good looking one". I was devastated. Crushed. Humiliated. Brutally embarrassed.
What a fucking cunt. More proof that blood doesn't mean shit, foids are foids.
 
BurntNegroid_Cel077

BurntNegroid_Cel077

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If I were a grAYcel for almost 3 years id rope too
:feelskek::feelskek::feelskek:Brutal graycel-pill
At a barbecue a few years back, my grandmother introduced us to guests and finished off his introduction with "…he's the good looking one". I was devastated. Crushed. Humiliated. Brutally embarrassed.
Fuck. What a goddamn witch. I'm sorry man. I'm assuming your brother is her favorite too? (to know surprise). Unconditional love from foid relatives doesn't even exist :feelsrope:

I appreciate that. Thanks brother – same to you…to all of us.

My brother has tried to get me on shrooms and 2CB but the fear of a schizophrenic attack setting in makes me avoid them like the plague.
Same. I contemplated an ayahuasca ceremony (I hear it completely changes the way you see yourself and the world around you), and using shrooms mainly because of my high inhib, cautious, and anxious personality. Weed I can handle to a certain extent. I'm afraid of the side effects though. A lot of people have bad trips (especially if they have underlying mental conditions). Developing schizophrenia/BPD would not be fun. Some people develop PTSD too because the trip scars them that bad. Whatever underlying conditions and inner battles you have are brought to the surface
 
Bald Incel

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Don't quit.

I can tell you're intelligent, so it's important to be around people, even if it's not a girlfriend.

Or if you have the money, get a wife from Mexico or something
 
The Abyss

The Abyss

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kampman

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This was tough to read.

Life will not get better, only worse.
 
Lonelycel

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Have you tried SEA maxxing?
 
BecomeTheNew

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dont hang yourself dumbass. very painful and likely to fail, and if you do you're a vegetable trapped in your own body. blow yourself up and erase your brainstem, no pain
 
BlackPill Scholar

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At a barbecue a few years back, my grandmother introduced us to guests and finished off his introduction with "…he's the good looking one". I was devastated. Crushed. Humiliated. Brutally embarrassed.
That is truly disgusting behaviour. I doubt she even consciously knew the implications of what she was saying, let alone realise how contemptible it was.
Nice game :feelsokman:
 
AlexanderTheGreat11

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