Venting its literally over i am truly hopeless and soon must rope

[Deleted member 27495]

ive been lying to my mom about applying for jobs and such just to buy myself time to LDAR, but now she demanded i call some stupid fucking place and get a interview, so i literally faked a call in my room and gave her a fake time and date, and now shes gonna fucking drive me there soon for an interview that doesnt exist. theres literally only 1 way to solve this

if i dont get a job then i will get kicked out so yea this is great. i am at the end of the rope here, its either kill myself now or live in a homeless shelter with no friends or family.
i already worked at mcdonalds and got fired because it was pure hell and i couldn't take the constant verbal abuse and walked out, (i was berated with insults literally all fucking day, and on top of it i was the scapegoat being blamed for everything that went wrong), i was always doing the grueling heavy work and they laughed at my subhuman frame because i was struggling so hard.

 

[Deleted member 8353]

I'm sorry this is happening to you bro

if i dont get a job then i will get kicked out so yea this is great. i literally am at the end of the rope here, its either kill myself now or live in a homeless shelter with no friends or family.

If these are truly your only options then you should use the time you have now to get advice online about how to survive being homeless, and to get information about suicide methods.

 

[Deleted member 27495]

I'm sorry this is happening to you bro

and to get information about suicide methods.

luckily i am well informed, in fact i have a bottle of sodium nitrite and anti-emetics on hand and a decent amount of cash to buy a shotgun (which is my preferable method as poison is slow and i actually tried a small dose of it and i panicked and freaked out because i was slowly passing out and i almost called a ambulance on myself, i need something instant).

i feel like ive lived so many lifetimes already im just sick of it all honestly, the blackpill, years of bullying, and now getting some dead end job in some shit warehouse or grocery store.

on top of it all my own mother has the audacity to call me a narcissist and blame me for all my problems as if anything except genetics dictates my future. what awaits me is nothing but a life of mediocrity and insignificance.

i experience nothing but negative emotions, i have never enjoyed being alive

 

[Deleted member 8353]

luckily i am well informed, in fact i have a bottle of sodium nitrite and anti-emetics on hand and a decent amount of cash to buy a shotgun (which is my preferable method as poison is slow and i actually tried a small dose of it and i panicked and freaked out because i was slowly passing out and i almost called a ambulance on myself, i need something instant).

i feel like ive lived so many lifetimes already im just sick of it all honestly, the blackpill, years of bullying, and now getting some dead end job in some shit warehouse or grocery store.

on top of it all my own mother has the audacity to call me a narcissist and blame me for all my problems as if anything except genetics dictates my future. what awaits me is nothing but a life of mediocrity and insignificance

Well I won't try to convince you to not do it, as with the direction my life is heading it's likely that I'll kill myself eventually, and I'm not going to be a hypocrite. You just have to make sure that this is truly the best option for you tbh, of course only you can know that.

I know what you mean though, anything slow is scary. Ideally I'd want to go out instantly, or at least in under 30 seconds.

 

[ihaveno1]

if u want to buy time just be a delivery driver for like grubhub or doordash or something (assuming u have a license and car) btw ur mom sounds like a total bitch who doesn’t give a fuck about ur problems and abuse u put up with at mcdonalds, if ur a diagnosed autists she should’ve done everything to get autismbuxx out of u starting at a young age