There’s something I’ve been hiding from you guys for a while, and it’s slowly been killing me. You might have noticed over the last few months I never mention my family anymore, and there was a period in time where I was completely offline from this site. The reality of the situation is that my family died in a way in which I can never recover from mentally. It was a car accident and they were completely splattered after being hit by a big truck.
When I heard the news I wasn’t allowed to see the bodies because they were so horribly disfigured, and I remember getting into a verbal confrontation with the cops over it. They didn’t want their mangled corpses being my last impression of my loved ones I’m guessing. For days afterwards I rarely slept, ate, or even walked more than 100 steps in the day, and only talked to people about funeral arrangements over the phone. At that point, I was so mentally beyond destroyed that I thought about finding all the cops that stopped me from seeing their bodies and mowing them all down. My family were the only thing I had in this world, and the only thing preventing me from suicide or going ER due to being an incel. The mental pain was so severe that it felt worse than any physical pain I’ve had in my life for the days after.
I got to see the bodies of my parents and sister at the funeral home after fighting with them about it, as they strongly recommend I not do it. The image of what remained of them will forever be burned into me eternally, like the river that can’t exist without the water that makes it up. Their bodies were closer in appearance to that of rotting meat rather than anything human. But their closed eyes were still preserved clearly, as if the Universe itself let them remain so I could identify each one my family members and see what has become of them.
The moment I saw what was left of them is when I fell into an eternal abyss from which I can never escape. As I gazed upon horror I saw in front of me, I deeply peered into what this reality is in its deepest sense. The ultimate depths of the blackpill were completely revealed to me. Death by astonishment is something that could truly be be understood in such a state. Embroiled in the circumstances of lives we live, we remain distracted from the ultimate reality of this world.
The abyss has completely enveloped every last space of my being. Completely and utterly mentally destroyed by reality. And that beyond all levels of comprehension, understand it’s completely over.
When I heard the news I wasn’t allowed to see the bodies because they were so horribly disfigured, and I remember getting into a verbal confrontation with the cops over it. They didn’t want their mangled corpses being my last impression of my loved ones I’m guessing. For days afterwards I rarely slept, ate, or even walked more than 100 steps in the day, and only talked to people about funeral arrangements over the phone. At that point, I was so mentally beyond destroyed that I thought about finding all the cops that stopped me from seeing their bodies and mowing them all down. My family were the only thing I had in this world, and the only thing preventing me from suicide or going ER due to being an incel. The mental pain was so severe that it felt worse than any physical pain I’ve had in my life for the days after.
I got to see the bodies of my parents and sister at the funeral home after fighting with them about it, as they strongly recommend I not do it. The image of what remained of them will forever be burned into me eternally, like the river that can’t exist without the water that makes it up. Their bodies were closer in appearance to that of rotting meat rather than anything human. But their closed eyes were still preserved clearly, as if the Universe itself let them remain so I could identify each one my family members and see what has become of them.
The moment I saw what was left of them is when I fell into an eternal abyss from which I can never escape. As I gazed upon horror I saw in front of me, I deeply peered into what this reality is in its deepest sense. The ultimate depths of the blackpill were completely revealed to me. Death by astonishment is something that could truly be be understood in such a state. Embroiled in the circumstances of lives we live, we remain distracted from the ultimate reality of this world.
The abyss has completely enveloped every last space of my being. Completely and utterly mentally destroyed by reality. And that beyond all levels of comprehension, understand it’s completely over.
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