Warning: long venting post
Seriously my mood depends radically on how i'm looking that day. I can go from constant rage one day to happy bliss the following just based on facial bloating. I have how my face responds to bloat SO FUCKING MUCH, I can't even. All the bloat goes to the ramus area (between the jaw and the zygos) completely ruining my facial outline. I know this is water bloat because I can be balloon faced while having perfectly defined abs. The most ironic and rage-inducing thing is that I still have concave cheeks and sharp jawline even if Im bloated, so it's just that my face bloats in the WORST place a face can bloat: frontal lateral silhouette. When I'm in a bad bloat day, depending on light and angle I can look like I have dramatically different weights due to this combination of fat front face silhouette+ otherwise defined "Inner" features. I can have sharp angular chin and lower jaw shape while my face sides look like im legit overweight. When I have a bad bloat day, going out of the house I look like some fucking mutant that can change his weight on the fly, for exmaple if I go from mall lightning to outside with dim afternoon lightning, I legit look like I dropped 15 kg in two seconds. Its fucking insane and rage-inducing.
The best days I have are the ones in which i'm drinking alcohol, or am hungover the day after. I look sharp and lean in EVERY lightning these days. Its fucking INSANE how my looks can change so fucking much from one day to another, and it stresses so much that some days are random bad bloat days. When I have an unexpected bad bloat day im in the worst mood possible. Two days ago I had a specially bad day and I just cancelled all plans and didnt leave the house. Half of the time I was hitting my own face because of the rage and anger.
The thing I hate the most is that I'm the only one who experiences this kind of bloat distribution. I see people with almost double chin, chubby cheeks and poor jaw definition who have decently shaped face sides everytime, so they look so much more consistent when lightning or angle changes. I don't understand it, i would prefer to have more bloat on cheeks and jaw and have my ramuses/sides look fine like EVERY FUCKING ONE BUT ME when It's bloat day.
One of the best sensations I can have, is when after a bad bloat day my face is free from excess water again, my mood boos is insane. I suddenly feel like I can conquer the world. It's fucking sad that my mood is so dramatically dependant on how much water weight I have on face that day.
The other thing that I utterly hate about my body is my fucking shoulders. I have yet to meet a fucking male that has worse shoulders than me. I HATE how some of my friends can wear sleeveless shirts and look good on them, like they wear them when they want to look better. I have to wear layers of clothing and shit to hide my horrible torso. My favorite season is summer, I LOVE hot weater yet i'm dreading it's arrival because i can no longer hide my fucking shoulders. I have how every male I meet has what I need: NORMAL SHOULDERS, and I legit feel like wanting to kill males with naturally wide shoulders when I see them. It's like the face bloating being focused on side silhouette while no one has this problem. Its like everyone is free from this shit but me. I know guys who have meh faces and are able to attract women by only exposing body. That concept is so alien to me I can't even. I HATE my body. I would give up an entire arm just to have wider shoulders. That's another thing. Other males with MAN shoulders arent so fucked by bloat days (not even counting how I am the only one in which bloats is ALL on the same part of face), beause they have at least body halo. I am utterly destroyed becuase my body is basically nonexistant.
I hate my body. I hate my face. I hate other males to death. I want to kill every male with wide shoulders or wide zygos (which would cancel a bit facial side bloat). I want to legit kill them, its not some figurative or metaphorical shit.
Seriously my mood depends radically on how i'm looking that day. I can go from constant rage one day to happy bliss the following just based on facial bloating. I have how my face responds to bloat SO FUCKING MUCH, I can't even. All the bloat goes to the ramus area (between the jaw and the zygos) completely ruining my facial outline. I know this is water bloat because I can be balloon faced while having perfectly defined abs. The most ironic and rage-inducing thing is that I still have concave cheeks and sharp jawline even if Im bloated, so it's just that my face bloats in the WORST place a face can bloat: frontal lateral silhouette. When I'm in a bad bloat day, depending on light and angle I can look like I have dramatically different weights due to this combination of fat front face silhouette+ otherwise defined "Inner" features. I can have sharp angular chin and lower jaw shape while my face sides look like im legit overweight. When I have a bad bloat day, going out of the house I look like some fucking mutant that can change his weight on the fly, for exmaple if I go from mall lightning to outside with dim afternoon lightning, I legit look like I dropped 15 kg in two seconds. Its fucking insane and rage-inducing.
The best days I have are the ones in which i'm drinking alcohol, or am hungover the day after. I look sharp and lean in EVERY lightning these days. Its fucking INSANE how my looks can change so fucking much from one day to another, and it stresses so much that some days are random bad bloat days. When I have an unexpected bad bloat day im in the worst mood possible. Two days ago I had a specially bad day and I just cancelled all plans and didnt leave the house. Half of the time I was hitting my own face because of the rage and anger.
The thing I hate the most is that I'm the only one who experiences this kind of bloat distribution. I see people with almost double chin, chubby cheeks and poor jaw definition who have decently shaped face sides everytime, so they look so much more consistent when lightning or angle changes. I don't understand it, i would prefer to have more bloat on cheeks and jaw and have my ramuses/sides look fine like EVERY FUCKING ONE BUT ME when It's bloat day.
One of the best sensations I can have, is when after a bad bloat day my face is free from excess water again, my mood boos is insane. I suddenly feel like I can conquer the world. It's fucking sad that my mood is so dramatically dependant on how much water weight I have on face that day.
The other thing that I utterly hate about my body is my fucking shoulders. I have yet to meet a fucking male that has worse shoulders than me. I HATE how some of my friends can wear sleeveless shirts and look good on them, like they wear them when they want to look better. I have to wear layers of clothing and shit to hide my horrible torso. My favorite season is summer, I LOVE hot weater yet i'm dreading it's arrival because i can no longer hide my fucking shoulders. I have how every male I meet has what I need: NORMAL SHOULDERS, and I legit feel like wanting to kill males with naturally wide shoulders when I see them. It's like the face bloating being focused on side silhouette while no one has this problem. Its like everyone is free from this shit but me. I know guys who have meh faces and are able to attract women by only exposing body. That concept is so alien to me I can't even. I HATE my body. I would give up an entire arm just to have wider shoulders. That's another thing. Other males with MAN shoulders arent so fucked by bloat days (not even counting how I am the only one in which bloats is ALL on the same part of face), beause they have at least body halo. I am utterly destroyed becuase my body is basically nonexistant.
I hate my body. I hate my face. I hate other males to death. I want to kill every male with wide shoulders or wide zygos (which would cancel a bit facial side bloat). I want to legit kill them, its not some figurative or metaphorical shit.
