I want things easy, but I also demand perfection.
Perfect example: I have this thing with vidya where I have to 100% complete every single game in my library with all trophies collected (textbook OCD, can’t resist it, can’t help it, it just FEELS right), but when I see one that has a low platinum percentage rate (meaning, not a lot of people have been able to 100% it due to it being too demanding, hectic, exhausting, difficult, time consuming, etc.) I feel conflicted on whether I should just sleep on it or muster up the energy to commit to something that exacts ‘why am I wasting my time doing this shit?’ type torture (to sum it up: can’t accept imperfection, don’t want mental ordeal).
The same sort of shit applies to movies and books too. The last movie I watched (Oppenheimer) took me four separate sessions to complete. I had to bail out multiple times cause the commitment of sitting still watching 3 hours go by sounds insane to me honestly. I can’t wrap my head around how normies are capable of doing it.
I think it’s honestly just the depression caused by loneliness. Everything feels wrong when you’re in this state. You keep pausing, reflecting, and wondering if there’s something else you should be doing, but there’s almost never anything else to do lol.
Perfect example: I have this thing with vidya where I have to 100% complete every single game in my library with all trophies collected (textbook OCD, can’t resist it, can’t help it, it just FEELS right), but when I see one that has a low platinum percentage rate (meaning, not a lot of people have been able to 100% it due to it being too demanding, hectic, exhausting, difficult, time consuming, etc.) I feel conflicted on whether I should just sleep on it or muster up the energy to commit to something that exacts ‘why am I wasting my time doing this shit?’ type torture (to sum it up: can’t accept imperfection, don’t want mental ordeal).
The same sort of shit applies to movies and books too. The last movie I watched (Oppenheimer) took me four separate sessions to complete. I had to bail out multiple times cause the commitment of sitting still watching 3 hours go by sounds insane to me honestly. I can’t wrap my head around how normies are capable of doing it.
I think it’s honestly just the depression caused by loneliness. Everything feels wrong when you’re in this state. You keep pausing, reflecting, and wondering if there’s something else you should be doing, but there’s almost never anything else to do lol.
