Bullying taught me 2 things
1. The morals spouted by adults are fucking bullshit. They themselves can't follow those standards let alone enforce them onto others. They teach you all this shit but irl they don't give a fuck about you. What's traumatizing to kids is childish playing to them. On top of that they have no empathy, you really can't discuss shit with them and expect to be taken seriously. Your problems mean nothing to anyone. All those lessons are just empty words make us behave in this dog eat dog world.
2. There is no justice. That's pretty self explanatory.
My life experiences turned me into a cynical fuck. You ever watched Game of Thrones? My favorite character was Tywin Lannister. I would get weird looks from others when they found out my favorite character is that old fag villian. But I was enamored by the aura of power, respect and FEAR he carried. When he killed the MCs it was not sad to me, it was exciting.
Favorite character is definitely Petyr Baelish (Little Finger)
He is literally an incel
He was called little finger because of how small he was as a child
He got rejected by Stacey who chose Chad over him despite how much he loved her and how far he was willing to go for her
Wealthmaxxed himself into being the owner of brothels, a spy network, etc, even became a lord
He's the perfect wealthmaxxed incel story
I've been re-watching the series, and for some reason only now I'm noticing things said that went over my head before This is a quote from him in season 1 episode 7, when he's talking about Catelyn Stark (btw his nickname was little finger because when he was young he was smaller than average...
incels.is
The notion understandably comes off odd to non-bullied cels.
It would come off odd to me even if I was bullied, it really doesn't make sense, its not like I never got taken advantage of or teased, when I say I wasn't bullied, I'm thinking about the stereotypical shit like having your lunch money taken away as a norm or being stuffed in a locker, the lower tier shit did happen to me though and no it still won't make sense
Probably because of my personality type, I'm what I would call a "yearner". When I want for something I want for it more strongly than most other people, I realized that after years of observing others and comparing their actions to myself
When I eat people always have to tell me to slow down even, I enjoy food a lot, you could even say too much, I'm a glutton, and when it comes to sex I'm lecherous, I just want to strongly to ever have the mindset to deny myself anything, to me it just doesn't make sense
The problem is that these guys don't have any desire, if their desire was strong enough all the excuses they are making wouldn't make a difference to them
The downside is someone like me will have to be very conscious of his decisions all the time and limit himself, because its very easy to go overboard and fall into temptation
I got fat real quick when I started working at a place with various food outlets, and right now with this whole COVID thing I can't really eat much of anything so it is torture lol
The reason why I even went to a prostitute the first time is because the yearning got so strong I thought about killing myself, I'd be up all night trying to fall asleep but just thinking about sex and unable to fall asleep, it started to affect my work, etc, so to me it was like I had no choice but to do it
I'm a walking pit of desire, I'm not trying to get rich because I "just want to get rich", I'm trying to get rich because I know I could not stand living if I was poor, there's just so much I want to do and I know I'd just want to die if I couldn't do it, I couldn't live without it, I definitely can't live without sex
