Experiment Suicidalcels, do you hate yourselves?

[Mainländer]

I commonly see suicidal people saying they hate themselves. I always found it interesting because I never hated myself, not trying to brag, I'm an ugly loser, but I never chose this and I like my own personality and have a perfect body in terms of functionality. It would be a waste for it to die before old age.

Every time I have suicidal thoughts, this is based on things like the pain and hopelessness of living in this hellish clown world as an incel, not on ideas like "I deserve to die", "it's better for me to die not be a nuisance to others" or shit like that.

That's also why I never bought the "self-esteem" talk much, I do have self-esteem and do think I deserve good things in this life, it's just that I know this world sucks, especially nowadays, and my life will probably be much more bad then good from now on.

 

[Deleted member 17883]

I hate aspects of me that I have no control over. Does that count as self hate?.q

 

[waste matter]

I don't hate my self i hate the society and my parents for not aborting me in the first place

 

[Mainländer]

I hate aspects of me that I have no control over. Does that count as self hate?.q

Not sure. What I feel about my ugliness is basically "well, sucks that foids are free to choose now, because I'd be a great husband but millimeters or bone, etc."

 

[Pengwin]

I don't hate myself but the circumstances in which I live in currently.

 

[Mainländer]

I don't hate myself but the circumstances in which I live in currently.

Yeah same. Especially how soyciety works nowadays.

 

[Deleted member 14805]

I hate aspects of me that I have no control over. Does that count as self hate?.q

Same. I hate my lack of drive, low ambition, introversion, and high inhibition alot, but I don't seem to hate myself. I feel indifferent toward myself. It's humanity and this clown world I fucking hate.

I don't hate my self i hate the society and my parents for not aborting me in the first place

Same tbh.

 

[Deleted member 27249]

I do. I fucking hate the way my brain works. I hate how I can't stop over thinking, I hate how I always ruin things for myself, I hate how I always do the same things that I know will end in disaster. I hate how I literally can't face any problem until it blows up and gets exposed. I've ruined my family life, my social life, my work, my body, my teeth. I'm fucking pathetic

 

[Mainländer]

I hate my lack of drive, low ambition

If you knew you'd get a virgin young wife for life over whom you'd have authority if you were hard-working and diligent, would you still have that lack of drive and ambition?

This lack of drive and ambition is a natural adaptation because we know the best we could get from torturing ourselves through intense studymaxxing and wageslaving would be cope galore. And most of us already have enough cope.

introversion, and high inhibition

This is also a natural adaptation as an ugly male. As a child, I used to be more on the extrovert side, but after so much bullying and mistreat, I learned that people are not that eager to hear what an ugly guy has to say, so I don't put myself on the line to be hurt so much.

 

[Quarantined]

I hate that short, also wish I didn't feel so much anxiety in social interactions

 

[Mainländer]

I've ruined my family life, my social life, my work, my body, my teeth. I'm fucking pathetic

Elab?

 

[IamJacksBrokenHeart]

Yes .

 

[Deleted member 14805]

If you knew you'd get a virgin young wife for life over whom you'd have authority if you were hard-working and diligent, would you still have that lack of drive and ambition?

This lack of drive and ambition is a natural adaptation because we know the best we could get from torturing ourselves through intense studymaxxing and wageslaving would be cope galore. And most of us already have enough cope.


This is also a natural adaptation as an ugly male. As a child, I used to be more on the extrovert side, but after so much bullying and mistreat, I learned that people are not that eager to hear what an ugly guy has to say, so I don't put myself on the line to be hurt so much.

Both statements ring very true. If I was guaranteed a female of my preference I'm sure I'd be an entirely different person now. Just wageslaving just to avoid starving doesn't give me the drive to look for work or to make changes, since I know I'll be alone at the end of the day.

And yeah as a kid I was very extroverted and VERY low inhibition, but that got me bullied alot and treated poorly, so it made me the "strong silent type" today. So yeah that gives me more reason to hate humanity instead of myself since I didn't do anything wrong. Sigh.

 

[Mainländer]

So yeah that gives me more reason to hate humanity instead of myself since I didn't do anything wrong. Sigh.

Yup. Hating yourself because of what people did to you is very foid-ish. If you can't help feeling hatred, focus it outwardly. This soyciety desERves it in Minecraft.

 

[Deleted member 27249]

Elab?

Dropped out of college cuz I was too depressed to attend classes, refused to get a job and neeted for like 2 years until my dad got sick of me and kicked me out haven't seen my parents in years, I can't stop eating fast food and soda, My teeth are decaying and I've been delaying going to the dentist for years despite at least 4 tooth decays that hurt when I drink anything cold, pretty sure I don't even have proper documentation since I never even renewed my ID, and I can't stop myself from acting angry to anyone that talks to me.

 

[Mainländer]

my dad got sick of me and kicked me out

My life has been the same of yours until that point. I must check my privilege of having a loving family that puts up with me without even complaining or pushing me much. But I guess it's also a cultural thing, in Brazil it's normal to live with your parents through adulthood, I take it you're from North America/Europe?

My teeth are decaying

How often do you brush it? Even when I'm depressed the most, I still brush it at the very least once a day because it feels uncomfortable not to and I don't want to depend on dentist shit.

I don't even have proper documentation

I had to create a new email for college and I've been postponing it since March, kek.

 

[Deleted member 27249]

0

My life has been the same of yours until that point. I must check my privilege of having a loving family that puts up with me without even complaining or pushing me much. But I guess it's also a cultural thing, in Brazil it's normal to live with your parents through adulthood, I take it you're from North America/Europe?

Yeah eastren europe. I think its normal to live with parents here till later in life too, but I was just rotting in my room and created a dark hole in the house, and to be fair to my dad he tried really hard to sit me up with multiple jobs before kicking me out. I blame it on myself. Still, being a neet was the best years of my life. The only time I wasn't stressed.

How often do you brush it? Even when I'm depressed the most, I still brush it at the very least once a day because it feels uncomfortable not to and I don't want to depend on dentist shit.

I've went months without brushing. I usually don't even buy toothpaste(I have some now tho). I Think I always thought I'd be dead by now so I don't need to take care of myself. Guess that was just a cope.

postponing

I find attending classes too brutal to be possible. specially when you're sitting alone awkwardly and you have no friends, and if you miss a class you have no one to ask about what you missed or when the exams are or from what page the materials are. That was also part of the reason I just stopped trying. Good luck in your return to college. You'll probably also need a masters for a decent job