RageFuel Truecel trait: you aren't welcomed everywhere.

[NorthernWind]

Normscum don't even try to hide their contempt toward me.
Moralfags will never know how it feels to be outcasted just because you were born ugly and sick.
I was even told 'get out of here' by people who didn't know me and I haven't done anything bad to them.
I have so much anger inside me.
I cannot live with such damage.
It seems that only 2 options are left for me :
1) self-destruction ( suicide ).
2) going ER [ emergency room ].

 

[Zer0/∞]

Trucels don’t have friends. @Incelius Savage

 

[Betrayed]

@mistersinister are you still alive?

 

[Incline]

Normscum don't even try to hide their contempt toward me.
Moralfags will never know how it feels to be outcasted just because you were born ugly and sick.
I was even told 'get out of here' by people who didn't know me and I haven't done anything bad to them.
I have so much anger inside me.
I cannot live with such damage.
It seems that only 2 options are left for me :
1) self-destruction ( suicide ).
2) going ER [ emergency room ].

 

[wereq]

Moralfags will never know how it feels to be outcasted just because you were born ugly and sick.

Yeah man, no one likes us. No one hesitates to show their contempt. This is why I try my best not to interact with people. Thankfully my neighborhood has many strays who are good friends. And if I do talk to anyone in real life, its always a subhuman who's on my level. In curryland, such people are easily found, but when I lived in the West, there were none whom I could find who weren't addicted to opioids which meant that I was existing like a ghost.

 

[Intellau_Celistic]

Elementary:

Elementary:

Aspie John was only seven when he entered elementary school. He briefly visited a different elementary school, where he encountered a young light-skinned Black girl named April. April was older, taller, and bullied Aspie John a bit, along with her Black males friends, often. Aspie John once started crying during playtime, due to a misunderstanding with his teacher. He completed his assignment, and believed the teacher didn't want him to join the other children.

His second elementary school, though, was where he experienced the most bullying and problems.

Aspie John, during classtime, would chew on wide pencils and vomit from graphite. He was anxious walking into the classroom and barely knew the other youth present. However, he met a young male named Dakari and quickly befriended him.

Dakari was a small Black boy with a stuttering problem. Still, the two were often together during lunch time and recess(They'd walk to the lunch counter together with paper trays and pick up cartons of milk/steamable pastries). One day, Aspie John and Dakari went to a local skating rink for a school field trip. Neither of them had money, yet they sat together and watched the other youth present enjoying themselves, lamenting their lack of money.

"I wish I could eat something"

"We don't have any money"

View attachment 624510

Then there was the time they visited the zoo for another field trip. Dakari started crying after dropping his dessert, and Aspie John comforted him. They had already sat together for lunch on that day, as usual. They also visited the computer lab together with the rest of their class to play Poptropica and CoolMath. They took class photos together for graduation. On graduation day, Aspie John and Dakari spent time with the class singing(Aspie John noticed that his mother was absent...). They also wore formal clothes and took pictures together.


...

P1

Group Therapy:

You're reminding me of my first stint in group therapy. Youth would nearly always overlook me. Some blatantly insulted me and made statements such as "Intellau, you know no one wants to partner with you. Go over to the table and sit alone", "Tsk"(Directed at me), "No one likes him! He acts like a female! Why do I have to go to the 'Quiet Room'?".

The only exception was when a certain kind youth joined my group. He treated me respectfully and showed concern for my obvious anxiety and social ineptitude; I was his partner for one group assignment, and it went very well.

Yes, I remember my final day in group therapy well. I was heavily depressed, as usual. It was cloudy and raining. A certain Black youth told me, "Intellau, go over there."(As usual), and I obeyed him out of a desire for peaceful group time. A kid by the name of "Sean", another Black youth, criticized my writing and said "Wow....Intellau's writing is terrible"(He was handing out our goal sheets for the day); he also made sure to read my "discharge" certificate. I kept my discharge secret so I wouldn't be laughed at by my group "mates".

And as usual, on the drive home, the young girls in my transportation van started hitting me and drawing on me. Why? Simple:

Relatives:

Exactly.

I was told to chat with my maternal grandmother - Someone who criticized me for my (at the time) inability to speak to her comfortably, which later became stuttering.

"Talk? Can't you talk?"

"Stop speaking in such a high-pitched voice"

"Speak up!"

"Speak louder"

"I don't know why he can't talk" (To Mother; Post-Stuttering)

"You can speak to your mother, can't you? Then you can speak to me normally"

"Talk!"

Mother and her mother denigrated me because I was always extremely anxious.

I returned from group therapy once. My grandmother denigrated me while my half-aunt was present because I was too anxious to eat.

"Look. Intellau doesn't want to eat!"

Yes, certainly influenced. I was influenced unexpectedly when my half-aunt would regularly speak about my family problems with her daughters in front of me. I was there since Mother had appointments.

I suppose that, somehow, having two children with Tyrone made her clan more valuable than myself and Mother, given that I merely witnessed daily domestic violence and slept in a spare room of my paternal grandparents' house as my half-cousins slept peacefully in their room, which was adjacent to their grandmother's.

Well...my half-aunt often made remarks like:

"Intellau's mother wonders why she's so sick all the time...maybe she should stop visiting Wendy's"

"She's a cow...she sits around speaking about menstruation" (Half-Cousin)

When I was a young child, Mother moved into an apartment downtown. She also stayed with my half-aunt(Told me she was unwanted), we moved into an apartment when I was seventeen. It was...very nice.

Sadly, TANF abuse is only for Aunt Cherrita.

I'd spring up quickly when Mother would call before arriving.

When I was a young child, I was grateful to see them. Except, of-course, for the time my half-aunt said "Well, you told your parents about a problem we had, so we won't do anything today".

My lifelong condition of constipation meant that I had to use the downstairs bathroom of my grandmother's apartment for relief. The television noise from the open door prevented me from defecating properly.

Mother often spoke of "DNA", as did my father. I met my great-grandmother(Mother's father) and knew her better than my maternal grandmother, someone I met when I was around 10. She told me her name.

Mother's relatives are deceptive and envious.

Transitional Living Program:

Story: Two:

I lived in a youth commune for some time. There, I was harassed/bullied by Tyrone and Chadlito. Tyrone took pictures of my naked body(I was in the male bathroom cleaning myself) and started laughing at my child-like appearance and fairly small phallus size with his roommate. He also threw dice at my room door each night and would play loud "rap" music at maximum volume to disturb me.

Chadlito, however, was much more subtle. He would peak into my room and, on occasion, steal my items. He also liked to gossip about me("He's a weirdo", "He's a freak", "He puts food in bags and goes outside to eat alone") and especially loved recording me. This led to him recording me while I was sleeping(I have sexsomnia), which led to the shelter boys/girls laughing at my "sexual speech". Note that the shelter girls had already mocked me previously for my feminine voice and autistic, avoidant behavior.

Because my case manager divulged my ASD diagnosis freely, I was a prime target for bullying and abuse from other youth. Chadlito eventually tried to have me evicted from the commune, which happened after I started staying in my commune room most of the time to avoid being shoved into desks by him(Demonstrating his "machismo" against an innocent aspie).

It is painful to have ASD, MDD, GAD, PTSD(It was already present from childhood trauma), and Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria/RSD. I would've likely roped if not for my obsessive fantasizing from ASD.

 

[Snhook]

eveyrone i know thinks I'm a creep

 

[Glerforpus]

People either think I’m weird or tend to overlook me

 

[Sennacherib]

Normscum don't even try to hide their contempt toward me.

Same,normies scum don't even need to say anything,i see the look of arrogance and looking down upon me on their faces

 

[universallyabhorred]

And if I do talk to anyone in real life, its always a subhuman who's on my level. In curryland, such people are easily found,

Wish I could move to india.