I feel like I'm about to go insane. When I was falling asleep I had this weird thought that I was being tortured in a different reality and my ldar rotting life was actually a dream. There was a thread about a guy who had his scrotum cut and was ordered to cook and eat his own testicle by a gang of complete subhumans. Maybe me seeing this post was a window of awareness.
In my dream I had to jump from very high into a river covered with tree roots. Next to the river was a very tall building where some small man ordered other guys to jump onto me. At some point I went up and told him they're too heavy and they will kill me. But I still kept doing it at first because of the adrenaline rush I guess.
I saw him fucking a 40 year old asian lady. He asked her if she ever fucked a guy with red hair. She answered with Ewww. He told her: "Well now you will". He was basically fucking her so she got in the mood, then I would get to fuck her. (I was the guy with the red hair even though irl I don't even have red hair) By fucking him first she wouldn't be too disgusted when it was my turn.
How much of an abused dog do you have to be to get a dream like that? It is so fucking over
Then I went into a light sleep phase and my brain somehow associated a gender with that mental state which was female. And I would become that gender as long as I'm in that state. I'm pretty sure that's because of the trannymaxing posts of gymletethnicel, especially that princess song.
Then some blasphemic images that popped into my head, but that's just normal OCD.
If this will continue like that I'll lose my sanity. And then I'll be too braindead to rope, and I'll have to suffer for decades to come.
I think it's time to call it a day, my brain isn't strong enough for the incel life. Although I'll try to achieve some things first like moving out and getting my own place so I can rope in peace.
In my dream I had to jump from very high into a river covered with tree roots. Next to the river was a very tall building where some small man ordered other guys to jump onto me. At some point I went up and told him they're too heavy and they will kill me. But I still kept doing it at first because of the adrenaline rush I guess.
I saw him fucking a 40 year old asian lady. He asked her if she ever fucked a guy with red hair. She answered with Ewww. He told her: "Well now you will". He was basically fucking her so she got in the mood, then I would get to fuck her. (I was the guy with the red hair even though irl I don't even have red hair) By fucking him first she wouldn't be too disgusted when it was my turn.
How much of an abused dog do you have to be to get a dream like that? It is so fucking over
Then I went into a light sleep phase and my brain somehow associated a gender with that mental state which was female. And I would become that gender as long as I'm in that state. I'm pretty sure that's because of the trannymaxing posts of gymletethnicel, especially that princess song.
Then some blasphemic images that popped into my head, but that's just normal OCD.
If this will continue like that I'll lose my sanity. And then I'll be too braindead to rope, and I'll have to suffer for decades to come.
I think it's time to call it a day, my brain isn't strong enough for the incel life. Although I'll try to achieve some things first like moving out and getting my own place so I can rope in peace.
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