[Drunk wall of text post]
This is just an update to my current situation because I had mentioned some time ago that I moved states and could no longer neetmaxx as a result. The only job I could find in my shitcity was a cashiering job at a local convenience store that also sells liquor in an affluent college town. I work for 12 buxx an hour and my manager is an attractive latina roastie with a nice figure and 20 year old looks. It's just so unceasingly brutal working there, but I have no other viable option at the moment. I come home to my air mattress and computer at 11pm and try to forget about the day but I just can't knowing that it will all repeat the next. From the college chads/lites that come in and heightbonelifemog me to hell and back or the white beckys and stacys that I can never have, it's so hard to be a witness to them/seen by them. All the girls come in groups and just laugh and giggle while walking around the store. The other demographic that comes in are rich/well-off white roasties that think they're still in their prime and dress 20 years their age. The looks they all give me are so vicious and nasty, but I can tell they try to be somewhat cordial just because I'm the one who sells them the cope they want. I get so much negative reinforcement from everyone. Whenever I've tried to venture out of the norm and spark up normal conversation I get no comparable energy in return or their responses are short and uninterested. Even my boss calls me 'buddy' whenever he comes into work and has never referred to me by my actual name. I know that he sees me as just a kid and not a 22 year old man even though he's only 28 himself. I hate the fact that no matter what I do, I cannot change the perception that others have of me. I could solve all the worlds problems but I would never be viewed in the same light as Chad. I'm always looked at like some scrawny little kid who can't do anything for themselves and needs to be constantly reminded of how to do things right. My other coworker is a jestermaxxing shortcelcel who everyone seems to like and I actually entertained the idea of emulating him because I noticed how much "positive" reinforcement he got from customers, but I just couldn't bring myself to compromise for the social acceptance. He sells himself out all the time for cheap laughs and jokes and is always trying to hit on the manager. Even just from observing her interactions with him blackpills me even more on a daily basis. He always buys her lunch or stuff she wants from the store then leads him on like he has a chance, but whenever tyrone walks into the store her eyes light up and they follow him the entire time he's present. She treats them so nice and laughs at whatever they say even if it's dumb shit. I tried to introduce the blackpill to my coworker because it's gotten so brutal and he's a good guy at heart, but he just doesn't get it. I tried converting the brocel but he's too far bluepilled for it to matter anymore. Being a faggot "just be confidentfunnynice bro" is a dead mission and will get you nowhere. You will never have the girl you want and normies will use you for entertainment like a monkey on a leash. Also, this week the entire volleyball team from a local high school came into get snacks after a tournament and I legitimately almost walked out. All of the foids were all so tall and pretty wearing their uniform in complete bliss about the ease and comfort of their lives. Of course they all drive and have nice cars that their parents bought for them and I was overcome with this tormenting feeling that I had completely missed out on being the normfag that took their virginities and got to go to parties with them. Yes, I know it is fortuitous to dwell on events that can no longer occur, but to repeatedly experience that feeling throughout the week is truly debilitating. How could I not? I get so enamored by them whenever they come in with their volleyball outfits on or their short skirts for their school uniform. I wish I had one to be with every night. While at the same time being heightframelifemogged by toilets that don't care to hide their contempt for you especially while in a group. This entire working experience has been distilled suifuel but I had no other choice brocels. We get a lot of regulars at the store as well so it's common to see the same foid or chadlite throughout the week. One of the regular roasties who only wears yoga pants has the fattest ass and thighs I've ever seen on a white whore. It's like she maxxed out her stats in character customization to mimic a nigrfoid. The urge to grape her (in destiny 1) is like a consuming fire and I make it a point to stare at her the entire time she walks around. The things I would do to that whore would get me put to death. I'm thinking about getting a few more paychecks then going back to trading options again. Yeah, I'd probably fall back into my gambling habit again, but I at least can save some of my sanity and be away from the public eye. All that being said, NEVER WORK AS A CASHIER OR IN CUSTOMER SERVICE JOBS IF YOU CAN HELP IT. The world forces me to clock into a humiliation ritual and I can't say no but I hope you guys are in better situations than I am and can somewhat bear the lives you live. I wish nothing but comfort for truecels in this lifetime and ascension in the next.
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