Could you elaborate? I mean, yeah, there's a lot of suicidefuel, but that kinda comes with being an ugly man. You can't expect us to be all giddy can you?
If you're not looking for sentimental stuff head over to the Must Read section. There are interesting scientific blackpills there
It is not only that but the blatant cruelty that we are propagating towards ourselves and almost everyone else in the world.
I understand many of us has either come from broken homes or has past trauma in our lives which has left us with an extremely dystopian mindset - but I think by calling ourselves and each other constantly 'ugly - inside out' - what we are doing is a self-fulfilling prophecy. All these different pills are nothing else but what our abusers and bullies have told us and what we have internalized - that we are nasty 'subhumans' who things nothing else than dehumanising women, killing ourselves and eradicating everyone else who are not white.
I mean scientific 'blackpills' really? Most of us haven't had a proper job, don't have proper relationships, can't socialise properly and haven't seen the grass for decades - and what we are doing here is Armchair Philosophy and quoting the most unhinged sources - talk about Confirmation Bias. All these Stacy, Betty, Chads - and whatever other nonsense - what people here are talking about is straight out of Porn - and the fuckbois and fuck-girls of the TikTok and Insta and OF - because I have concluded from this forum that most people are stuck in-front of their screens they think the Digital World is the Actual Representation of Our Physical Reality.
I call absolute bullshit on that.
I have been physically and verbally abused by people I thought will be my first defenders, bullied throughout my school and thus have never formed any proper relationships, let alone any romantic ones.
I have enormous anger inside me and it messed me up - and it used to burst out of myself in previous years - where I was cruel and blamed everyone else. But this anger and hatred is tiring - especially its prime target is always Me. I have always believed that I am good for nothing - nobody will love me and then I started blaming the world for creating me like this.
It is a vicious cycle.
And what I have been doing was proving my abusers right by being an 'Ugly Subman - Inside Out'.
I don't want to be that anymore. I want to prove to myself that I am not Ugly. I have worth.
I want to love myself. I am reaching out for help - even it has seemed impossible.
I am earning and making friends for the first time in years.
I have gone out for an outing with my book-club during the Christmas, and I exchanged numbers - and I think I have friends now.
My older brother, my therapist and my own will-power helped a lot.
But all of them doesn't mean, I still don't have bad days - I have but at this moment I no longer think it to be the end of days. The feeling that everyone is looking at me and laughing at my looks and incompetency is still there, but the cruel voice which tells me all these have reduced and I am determined to keep on fighting.
My brain-chemistry is slowing changing from self-hatred and anger - and it is helping me to see the world in a new perspective.
What the members of this forum needs including me is some genuine kindness and friendship in our lives - not sex or imaginary romances with anime women/pornstars.
! also I'm pretty sure i'll delete my .is account soon, since it's effecting my mental health
