M
Monk of Failure
Runaway Azkabanian.
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- Joined
- Jul 14, 2019
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Dr Brynin found that the euphoria of first love can damage future relationships. "Remarkably, it seems that the secret to long-term happiness in a relationship is to skip a first relationship," said Brynin. "In an ideal world, you would wake up already in your second relationship."
While researching the components of successful long-term partnerships, Brynin found intense first loves could set unrealistic benchmarks, against which we judge future relationships. "If you had a very passionate first relationship and allow that feeling to become your benchmark for a relationship dynamic, then it becomes inevitable that future, more adult partnerships will seem boring and a disappointment," he said.
Dr Gayle Brewer, a lecturer in social psychology at the University of Central Lancashire, agreed: "If you judge adult relationships against your first relationship, you are using a single benchmark: that of an intense and unrealistic passion," she said. "Adult relationships need all sorts of other virtues to survive, many of which are not compatible with that level of intensity. For example, you might have felt passionate about your first love because their spontaneity was breathtakingly exciting.
TLDR: If you aren't her first love and chad is her first love, you'd never be loved by that girl which is inevitable since you can never be anyone first love.
While researching the components of successful long-term partnerships, Brynin found intense first loves could set unrealistic benchmarks, against which we judge future relationships. "If you had a very passionate first relationship and allow that feeling to become your benchmark for a relationship dynamic, then it becomes inevitable that future, more adult partnerships will seem boring and a disappointment," he said.
Dr Gayle Brewer, a lecturer in social psychology at the University of Central Lancashire, agreed: "If you judge adult relationships against your first relationship, you are using a single benchmark: that of an intense and unrealistic passion," she said. "Adult relationships need all sorts of other virtues to survive, many of which are not compatible with that level of intensity. For example, you might have felt passionate about your first love because their spontaneity was breathtakingly exciting.
TLDR: If you aren't her first love and chad is her first love, you'd never be loved by that girl which is inevitable since you can never be anyone first love.
Why we can never recover from first love
Studies show that the secret to long-term happiness might be to skip puppy love altogether
www.theguardian.com