"it's just instinct to reproduce bro, like animals"
Not so fast! With animals you get purely instinctual life, cycles of copulation, only with humans sexuality can become a obsession that completely possesses you and disturbs your daily rhythm to the point you will be doing nothing else in life but crying over the teenage loves you never had on anonymous forums. What distinguishes erotic love from mere lust is this are 3 crucial things:
– The suddenness, imminence or surprise that marks the appearance of love. Lust is what I feel whenever I watch hardcore porn or see a woman with big milkers, infatuation begins when I get captivated by my oneitises overbite. Developing a oneitis is likely a result of an arbitrary, specific choice of the unconscious, a value judgement that transcends immediate instinctual goals. So even if you physiologically release the tension through masturbation, it doesn't get her out of your system. It's a metaphysical experience you're going through.
– Infatuation is plagued by idealization. Being a creature of the imago, you process reality through imagined concepts, your oneitis is also a IMAGE of a girl you create. The more she is kept at a proper distance the more desirable she becomes. Your love-object is still a clump of meat that sweats and shits at the end of the day, but your imaginary register is making that buck toothed Becky a heavenly match with a intriguing personality.
– In love the reach exceeds the grasps. You can be thwarted in achieving satisfaction both when we you don't get the girl of your dreams, and if you'd get her fully (by marrying her). Love-affection is always the strongest when you almost have the girl, but stops short from "happily ever after". Imagine having a passionate summer fling with your oneitits, but her father cockblocks you in the end and takes her far away, ironically losing a girl is the only way to keep the flames of erotic love burning -- in the alternate scenario poised by the question "what if...?"
To paraphrase Lacan: Imagine you see in front of you a beautiful flower, or a ripe fruit. You reach out your hand to grab it. But at the moment you do, the flower, or the fruit, bursts into flame.
Not so fast! With animals you get purely instinctual life, cycles of copulation, only with humans sexuality can become a obsession that completely possesses you and disturbs your daily rhythm to the point you will be doing nothing else in life but crying over the teenage loves you never had on anonymous forums. What distinguishes erotic love from mere lust is this are 3 crucial things:
– The suddenness, imminence or surprise that marks the appearance of love. Lust is what I feel whenever I watch hardcore porn or see a woman with big milkers, infatuation begins when I get captivated by my oneitises overbite. Developing a oneitis is likely a result of an arbitrary, specific choice of the unconscious, a value judgement that transcends immediate instinctual goals. So even if you physiologically release the tension through masturbation, it doesn't get her out of your system. It's a metaphysical experience you're going through.
– Infatuation is plagued by idealization. Being a creature of the imago, you process reality through imagined concepts, your oneitis is also a IMAGE of a girl you create. The more she is kept at a proper distance the more desirable she becomes. Your love-object is still a clump of meat that sweats and shits at the end of the day, but your imaginary register is making that buck toothed Becky a heavenly match with a intriguing personality.
– In love the reach exceeds the grasps. You can be thwarted in achieving satisfaction both when we you don't get the girl of your dreams, and if you'd get her fully (by marrying her). Love-affection is always the strongest when you almost have the girl, but stops short from "happily ever after". Imagine having a passionate summer fling with your oneitits, but her father cockblocks you in the end and takes her far away, ironically losing a girl is the only way to keep the flames of erotic love burning -- in the alternate scenario poised by the question "what if...?"
To paraphrase Lacan: Imagine you see in front of you a beautiful flower, or a ripe fruit. You reach out your hand to grab it. But at the moment you do, the flower, or the fruit, bursts into flame.
