Does anyone else just have too many things wrong with yourself?

[Deleted member 7448]

So many times I don't post what I write, simply because while writing I remember yet another way in which I'm screwed up, and the post becomes derailed and I'd just start complaining about the other thing, so I just delete the whole mess.

It's just too much. I'm not mentally ill like you would think of a psycho or a schizophrenic. But for someone that can appear relatively normal, I'm as screwed up as it gets. Sometimes I feel like the things I write in my posts couldn't possible be taken literally, like some normal person reading this would think I'm trolling or exaggerating. But unfortunately when I say stuff like I'm spending 16 hours a day laying in bed just rotting with my laptop next to me and have done so for many years, I mean it.

Idk, there's just too much. Way too many problems, even if I started working on several of them there'd be a whole other bunch dragging me down. It's just unfixable it really is, even if I completely transformed and had the motivation to change my life once and for all, it's just too much wrong. Plus, the damage to my life is far too great by now.

 

[The Abyss]

Right now my life goal is to hold out until 40, everything else is secondary but I'm losing copes.

 

[insanus virginem]

It's just too much. I'm not mentally ill like you would think of a psycho or a schizophrenic. But for someone that can appear relatively normal, I'm as screwed up as it gets.

I don't think that strange behaviour due to extreme justified stress and sadness is "mental illness". I am strange right now and my mind is warped but all I needed was a normal life to remain normal.

 

[Deleted member 7448]

Right now my life goal is to hold out until 40, everything else is secondary.

I'm not looking forward to 40. Dad will be dead by then and most likely my cat too. Mom's not that healthy either though she's not as old as dad. Idk what I'll do when my parents or my cat dies, I'll lose my mind with grief.

I don't think that strange behaviour due to extreme justified stress and sadness is "mental illness". I am strange right now and my mind is warped but all I needed was a normal life to remain normal.

Yeah but I'm not stressed and sad, I've been like this for over a decade. At this point depression is just a background thing, part of me, not really something that would excuse my behavior.

 

[The Abyss]

I'm not looking forward to 40. Dad will be dead by then and most likely my cat too. Mom's not that healthy either though she's not as old as dad. Idk what I'll do when my parents or my cat dies, I'll lose my mind with grief.

Yeah but I'm not stressed and sad, I've been like this for over a decade. At this point depression is just a background thing, part of me, not really something that would excuse my behavior.

Other than your parents & cat you have no one right? I don't know how anyone can hold out with nobody; maybe @Grotesque knows how.

 

[crew2]

I know exactly what you mean. I'm not ugly...at least not overly ugly but I feel like I have so many specific flaws that individually would instantly put off any female these days.

- Big nose
- Average eye area
- Ginger hair
- Hair loss
- Bloated face/jaw unless very low fat
- Poor fat distribution even when in decent shape
- Back hair
- Mild rosacea

And it goes on. Each of these can be fixed but how long would it take and do I have flaws that I can't even see? I feel sometimes like someone created me to be a background character to make someone else look better the way they make sure all the extras in Bond films don't mog Daniel Craig.

 

[Deleted member 7448]

Other than your parents & cat you have no one right? I don't know how anyone can hold out with nobody; maybe @Grotesque knows how.

I don't have anyone else but that's not the problem, I just really love them now and I couldn't bear losing them. I did a lot of wrong things to my parents in this life, some even horrible unforgivable things (well they did some things to me too but nothing compared to what I did to them), but since then we're tighter than ever and I truly would miss them too much if they were gone.

I know exactly what you mean. I'm not ugly...at least not overly ugly but I feel like I have so many specific flaws that individually would instantly put off any female these days.

- Big nose
- Average eye area
- Ginger hair
- Hair loss
- Bloated face/jaw unless very low fat
- Poor fat distribution even when in decent shape
- Back hair
- Mild rosacea

And it goes on. Each of these can be fixed but how long would it take and do I have flaws that I can't even see? I feel sometimes like someone created me to be a background character to make someone else look better the way they make sure all the extras in Bond films don't mog Daniel Craig.

It's a cruel world we live in.

 

[The Abyss]

I don't have anyone else but that's not the problem, I just really love them now and I couldn't bear losing them. I did a lot of wrong things to my parents in this life, some even horrible unforgivable things (well they did some things to me too but nothing compared to what I did to them), but since then we're tighter than ever and I truly would miss them too much if they were gone.

Everyone dies in the end though, we just choose to ignore that, then it's too late to say or do what you regret leaving until the moment has passed.

 

[BITG]

I know exactly how you feel. I too have too many things wrong with me to count, physically and mentally. I wish I would disappear

 

[Pengwin]

*raises hand*

 

[ThoughtfulCel]

Well for starters im not a human so theres that.

I wish the concept of friendship existed and i could have friends who cared about me legitimately. I wish i had a loyal girl by my side.

A lot of stuff.

 

[Incline]

So many times I don't post what I write, simply because while writing I remember yet another way in which I'm screwed up, and the post becomes derailed and I'd just start complaining about the other thing, so I just delete the whole mess.

It's just too much. I'm not mentally ill like you would think of a psycho or a schizophrenic. But for someone that can appear relatively normal, I'm as screwed up as it gets. Sometimes I feel like the things I write in my posts couldn't possible be taken literally, like some normal person reading this would think I'm trolling or exaggerating. But unfortunately when I say stuff like I'm spending 16 hours a day laying in bed just rotting with my laptop next to me and have done so for many years, I mean it.

Idk, there's just too much. Way too many problems, even if I started working on several of them there'd be a whole other bunch dragging me down. It's just unfixable it really is, even if I completely transformed and had the motivation to change my life once and for all, it's just too much wrong. Plus, the damage to my life is far too great by now.

Yeah bro there is a lot of things wrong with me. I will fix my hairline and my eyes with colored contacts and my eye area with makeup but I can't fix my crooked nose, my garbage recessed jaw, my subhuman slavic bones. Unless I surgerymaxxed. It's over.

 

[leach_in_my_penis]

Well for starters im not a human so theres that.

I wish the concept of friendship existed and i could have friends who cared about me legitimately. I wish i had a loyal girl by my side.

A lot of stuff.

View attachment 342516

JFL if you think gorillacels exist. You can just go and club some gorilla hoe on the head with a rock and rape them, who tf gonna stop you.

 

[The Zulfigar]

Yes. There's no escape. Like using a 4 stove to prepare 6 dishes than need heating up. You either work on one, and fail with others, and on top you have 2 more aspects that don't fit in

they make sure all the extras in Bond films don't mog Daniel Craig

Brutal insecuritypill

 

[Deleted member 28755]

I am so fucked up that inceldom is not even on my top 3 list.

1)Severe OCD
2)Urethral stricture that may get worse at any time crippling my life for ever
3)After 6 months of catching covid-19 I still have short breath and lungs still hurt.If I develop pulmonar fibrosis it's over.
4)Perpetual hunger that makes being on a diet excruciating but still if I do not begin it soon I will die since my heart is not 100% functioning as it should,my blood valours are horrible and I may have diabetes too.
5)Inceldom.

 

[ThoughtfulCel]

JFL if you think gorillacels exist. You can just go and club some gorilla hoe on the head with a rock and rape them, who tf gonna stop you.

While i agree with your statement that isn't real love tbh. I want real love. I mean granted i still beat and rape foids who entire my forest. I still want real true love.

 

[Deleted member 7448]

I am so fucked up that inceldom is not even on my top 3 list.

1)Severe OCD
2)Urethral stricture that may get worse at any time crippling my life for ever
3)After 6 months of catching covid-19 I still have short breath and lungs still hurt.If I develop pulmonar fibrosis it's over.
4)Perpetual hunger that makes being on a diet excruciating but still if I do not begin it soon I will die since my heart is not 100% functioning as it should,my blood valours are horrible and I may have diabetes too.
5)Inceldom.

Brutal, life is so unfair.

 

[Karlakarl]

It's really unfair that once you start rotting, the rotting gets worse. Unrotting is not even a word