this whole fucking week.
has been hell tbh. today this 5'4 truecel came up to me 4 times just to tell me i looked terrible. i just looked at him with a blank face because i dont know why i pretend to care anymore. like, seriously.
i dont like ANY of these people. there isnt a single fucking person that i like in my life, why the fuck am i trying so hard to impress them. regardless, ive made up my mind and 9 months ago i had the same idea i had today and i wish i went with that plan.
you know, today i woke up and there was a cockroach the size of my thumb in my drawer where i keep my shirts.
and its not like i live in some shit hole, my room is always clean. i may be extremely depressed and shit but i always stay clean, regardless if i shower or not.
i can go a month without showering and still smell good because i combat showering with just lathering myself in perfume that i borrow from my aunt.
anyways let me tell you about the plan i had.
when i was 17, i spent 300 dollars on a bunch of survival tools so i can live in a forest alone. i was going to run away, and i had the perfect day to as well. both of my parents were working, and my dad wasnt coming back until 4 days because his sister was in the hospital so he was gonna visit her after work for 4 days.
my mom hardly ever checks on me, and i can be in my room for 3 days straight before she knocks and asks if im okay or inside the room lolol.
i was gonna run away on a school day, call my school and let them know im gonna be absent for the rest of the week due to covid. then i was gonna leave before my dad left to go to work (i had to do that anyways because my bus comes at 6am)
then i had tickets to the next state, my goal was to live near the Canadian border in a forest there. just for a year so try and cure my obeseness and depression. after that i would have been 19. and by 19, i was gonna find a way to get my identifications all sort because my parents have it or i was gonna go back home and ask for it back.
after that, i was going to get a job and wage slave for a good 4 years to save up enough money to get surgery and find a wife overseas to stay with and have a child with.
but now i dont want kids at all, i dont care about anything anymore. i just wanna be alone for the rest of my life. i literally geomaxxed, overseas to see if people would treat me like a human.
im still a god damn bug here.
i think im gonna rope soon honestly. its too much.
has been hell tbh. today this 5'4 truecel came up to me 4 times just to tell me i looked terrible. i just looked at him with a blank face because i dont know why i pretend to care anymore. like, seriously.
i dont like ANY of these people. there isnt a single fucking person that i like in my life, why the fuck am i trying so hard to impress them. regardless, ive made up my mind and 9 months ago i had the same idea i had today and i wish i went with that plan.
you know, today i woke up and there was a cockroach the size of my thumb in my drawer where i keep my shirts.
and its not like i live in some shit hole, my room is always clean. i may be extremely depressed and shit but i always stay clean, regardless if i shower or not.i can go a month without showering and still smell good because i combat showering with just lathering myself in perfume that i borrow from my aunt.
anyways let me tell you about the plan i had.
when i was 17, i spent 300 dollars on a bunch of survival tools so i can live in a forest alone. i was going to run away, and i had the perfect day to as well. both of my parents were working, and my dad wasnt coming back until 4 days because his sister was in the hospital so he was gonna visit her after work for 4 days.
my mom hardly ever checks on me, and i can be in my room for 3 days straight before she knocks and asks if im okay or inside the room lolol.
i was gonna run away on a school day, call my school and let them know im gonna be absent for the rest of the week due to covid. then i was gonna leave before my dad left to go to work (i had to do that anyways because my bus comes at 6am)
then i had tickets to the next state, my goal was to live near the Canadian border in a forest there. just for a year so try and cure my obeseness and depression. after that i would have been 19. and by 19, i was gonna find a way to get my identifications all sort because my parents have it or i was gonna go back home and ask for it back.
after that, i was going to get a job and wage slave for a good 4 years to save up enough money to get surgery and find a wife overseas to stay with and have a child with.
but now i dont want kids at all, i dont care about anything anymore. i just wanna be alone for the rest of my life. i literally geomaxxed, overseas to see if people would treat me like a human.
im still a god damn bug here.
i think im gonna rope soon honestly. its too much.
