There is a group of people idolized as perfection of human genetics with universal desirability. They get the adulation, the exposure, center of desire.
The other end of the spectrum is people like me. The wrong everything. Born in the genetics dumpster. No abilities, no physical appeal, predisposed to depression, anxiety. The sum is worse than all the parts separately.
Any one single detriment can be overcome or balanced out. But not everything added up. It almost strips you away of your humanity. No place in society, no place in friends. Zero status and zero ego.
These days with everything exposed online for mass consumption all classes of existence are there to be seen and scrutinized. It always has been, and it always will be. We just know there are people like us now. We're not the anomalies we think we are.
So no, the heart doesn't count. And perception is everything. And some people have to fall. Statistically. I have spent decades learning where I fall in the grand scheme of life. Why I have consistent failure after failure. Consistently failing to understand that I am at the bottom end of life. Its like the speed dating game. I am asked to leave before it starts. That is my place. That is where I belong.
That makes me a toxic, nasty, ugly person. Before I even have a word to say. All the others spouting positivity and perseverance never had the obstacles placed in front of them that some of us have. I'm not saying it was a cake-walk, but it was possible. For those it was possible for can never understand the chance being zero for others. Being non-existent. Like trying to imagine what death is like.
The other end of the spectrum is people like me. The wrong everything. Born in the genetics dumpster. No abilities, no physical appeal, predisposed to depression, anxiety. The sum is worse than all the parts separately.
Any one single detriment can be overcome or balanced out. But not everything added up. It almost strips you away of your humanity. No place in society, no place in friends. Zero status and zero ego.
These days with everything exposed online for mass consumption all classes of existence are there to be seen and scrutinized. It always has been, and it always will be. We just know there are people like us now. We're not the anomalies we think we are.
So no, the heart doesn't count. And perception is everything. And some people have to fall. Statistically. I have spent decades learning where I fall in the grand scheme of life. Why I have consistent failure after failure. Consistently failing to understand that I am at the bottom end of life. Its like the speed dating game. I am asked to leave before it starts. That is my place. That is where I belong.
That makes me a toxic, nasty, ugly person. Before I even have a word to say. All the others spouting positivity and perseverance never had the obstacles placed in front of them that some of us have. I'm not saying it was a cake-walk, but it was possible. For those it was possible for can never understand the chance being zero for others. Being non-existent. Like trying to imagine what death is like.
