I was a very low inhib kid, as far as i can remember. Always noisy, getting into "fights" etc etc.
One summer, i was around 8 or 9, i made "friends" with some kids during the holidays and i got arguing with one of them, a female. I distinctly remember another female saying to her "don't bother with him, he's ugly!".
After that moment it was like a chain of events: the more i was being "social", the more i was being remembered i was becoming ugly (i think i was kinda a pretty kid untiil 8 or 9 hit me). Some parents started addressng me as the "smart kid of the family" and i was realizing my life would become very hard.
I even had an incel cousin (the only one, the others were normal) that was older than all of my other cousins, he was around 16 while me and my cousins were 8 and 10, and i remember my mother telling me "you're just like your older cousin!" (said cousin has now been divorce-raped and then remarried, but he's ugly and both of the times it was with some landwhales, so he became a cuck).
The moment i can pinpoint, though, it's me, around 10, looking at the mirror and connecting that all of those comments about me were linked to what i was seeing on the mirror. I remember seeing school pictures, too, seeing that i was way uglier than the other kids. Until that moment i always did funny faces while they took the school pictures, so maybe, on some level, i had already realized i was ugly, so i was coping by doing that, but after that moment i tried to avoid doing those pictures, but you were forced to, so all my classroom pictures is just me, painfully sad, among the other students (and a couple of fucking bullies, the only ones i had to deal with luckily as i was sorta able to defend myself, most of the times, but they were older and bigger).
In that moment i've realized everything and i've started crying on my bed: my mother asked why i was crying, i told her that it was because i was ugly, she just acted lke i was saying something a "silly kid would say" and shrugged it off. I've just started to suffer by myself since 10 and in my late teens, after tons of questions about why i didn't have a girlfriend or why i didn't go out, i told to her AGAIN, after years, that it was because i was ugly, and then she started telling me to go to a therapist etc etc.
I'm now in my 30's and EVEN NOW i'm (rarely, in the world of adults) reminded i'm ugly. Last time it was a girl that mocked my face in front of another girl that i liked.
I feel that normies have no idea what a path like this one leads too and i envy them.
One summer, i was around 8 or 9, i made "friends" with some kids during the holidays and i got arguing with one of them, a female. I distinctly remember another female saying to her "don't bother with him, he's ugly!".
After that moment it was like a chain of events: the more i was being "social", the more i was being remembered i was becoming ugly (i think i was kinda a pretty kid untiil 8 or 9 hit me). Some parents started addressng me as the "smart kid of the family" and i was realizing my life would become very hard.
I even had an incel cousin (the only one, the others were normal) that was older than all of my other cousins, he was around 16 while me and my cousins were 8 and 10, and i remember my mother telling me "you're just like your older cousin!" (said cousin has now been divorce-raped and then remarried, but he's ugly and both of the times it was with some landwhales, so he became a cuck).
The moment i can pinpoint, though, it's me, around 10, looking at the mirror and connecting that all of those comments about me were linked to what i was seeing on the mirror. I remember seeing school pictures, too, seeing that i was way uglier than the other kids. Until that moment i always did funny faces while they took the school pictures, so maybe, on some level, i had already realized i was ugly, so i was coping by doing that, but after that moment i tried to avoid doing those pictures, but you were forced to, so all my classroom pictures is just me, painfully sad, among the other students (and a couple of fucking bullies, the only ones i had to deal with luckily as i was sorta able to defend myself, most of the times, but they were older and bigger).
In that moment i've realized everything and i've started crying on my bed: my mother asked why i was crying, i told her that it was because i was ugly, she just acted lke i was saying something a "silly kid would say" and shrugged it off. I've just started to suffer by myself since 10 and in my late teens, after tons of questions about why i didn't have a girlfriend or why i didn't go out, i told to her AGAIN, after years, that it was because i was ugly, and then she started telling me to go to a therapist etc etc.
I'm now in my 30's and EVEN NOW i'm (rarely, in the world of adults) reminded i'm ugly. Last time it was a girl that mocked my face in front of another girl that i liked.
I feel that normies have no idea what a path like this one leads too and i envy them.
