People might feed me cope by saying that I’ll find someone eventually, or that I just need to put myself out there. How the fuck can I put myself out there when society has cast me aside like trash? I have severe anxiety issues and whenever I look in the mirror I become enraged, as I see a dullness in my eyes. My face suken in and void of that relatableness that normies crave. (Being chad)
If I ascend with a woman and she becomes my girlfriend, this place will be ancient history to me. Until then, I am doomed to experience the full power of the black pill. I am 20 years old with zero sexual experience, living my entire life observing foids who view me me as a lower life form than them. I have also desperately craved the touch of a woman since puberty began for me.
My mind has unfortunately been twisted my soyciety to be a vessel of pure hatred for those who succeed where I don’t, and this includes the girl that I was previously in love with many years ago. She put me in the friendzone and chose her boyfriend over me, who was some fat low tier normie. Then I did the math: If women pick the better option, and she chose a low tier normie over me, that makes me bottom of the barrel trash. This was the seed that was first planted for me to eventually become blackpilled.
Once a oneitis cuck, now filled with pure rage and hatred for the foid who essentially introduced me to this world of suffering. She is privileged beyond belief, and has a new boyfriend now. She has a father who is a politician, which creates even more rage within me. Not only did she reject me, her family has political ties.
After 6 years of thinking about her, starting with love, and ending with pure hatred, I have finally accepted that I may be alone for the rest of my life and it never began for me. I feel a sense of peace (giga cope, I will probably spiral into a manic rage and eventually depression tomorrow), and all I can do is accept my circumstances after years of being mentally tormented by her and every other foid I have wanted. My only copes left are YouTube, this forum, cigarettes, and masturbation which only makes me feel shittier in the long run.
Tldr: Over
If I ascend with a woman and she becomes my girlfriend, this place will be ancient history to me. Until then, I am doomed to experience the full power of the black pill. I am 20 years old with zero sexual experience, living my entire life observing foids who view me me as a lower life form than them. I have also desperately craved the touch of a woman since puberty began for me.
My mind has unfortunately been twisted my soyciety to be a vessel of pure hatred for those who succeed where I don’t, and this includes the girl that I was previously in love with many years ago. She put me in the friendzone and chose her boyfriend over me, who was some fat low tier normie. Then I did the math: If women pick the better option, and she chose a low tier normie over me, that makes me bottom of the barrel trash. This was the seed that was first planted for me to eventually become blackpilled.
Once a oneitis cuck, now filled with pure rage and hatred for the foid who essentially introduced me to this world of suffering. She is privileged beyond belief, and has a new boyfriend now. She has a father who is a politician, which creates even more rage within me. Not only did she reject me, her family has political ties.
After 6 years of thinking about her, starting with love, and ending with pure hatred, I have finally accepted that I may be alone for the rest of my life and it never began for me. I feel a sense of peace (giga cope, I will probably spiral into a manic rage and eventually depression tomorrow), and all I can do is accept my circumstances after years of being mentally tormented by her and every other foid I have wanted. My only copes left are YouTube, this forum, cigarettes, and masturbation which only makes me feel shittier in the long run.
Tldr: Over
"Ascencion" would be Leaving this world, NOT being a part of purgatory.
