I could really, really benefit from a fresh start in a new country. But I'm way too attached to my parents and cat to ever leave them. Anyone else?

anon1822

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My parents and I have had our ups and downs, but now we're tighter than ever. I'm really attached to them and I love them, I'd miss them too much if I were to leave. Especially cause of all the horrible things I've done to them when I was an alcoholic I guess I overcompensated from guilt but I genuinely love them. And my cat too, that little ball of fur is everything to me.

But tbh there's no future for me in this country for many reasons. First of all, basically everyone I ever knew knows of when I used to be an alcoholic. There's a lot of people I don't even know that well that know my humiliations. Anyone I ever knew, from highschool or uni etc... I'm terrified of walking down the street, out of fear that somebody I used to know would see me. Genuinely agoraphobic because of this. Another aspect is that this is a poor ass country where I'd barely be making $300 a month if I'm lucky.

So if I am to have any life at all I need to leave. If I don't leave I'll be slaving for peanuts while terrified of ever accidentally meeting someone that I used to know, in constant anxiety. And yet I can't leave, my parents and my cat are everything to me.
 
Copexodius Maximus

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Just own doing dumb shit on alcohol, that's what Chad does.
 
anon1822

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Just own doing dumb shit on alcohol, that's what Chad does.
I wish it was dumb shit, I didn't really do dumb shit as much as say way too honest but humiliating, self-deprecating and depressive things. Actually there was dumb shit too but not the typical dumb shit.

Plus it was in really inappropriate contexts, like at uni with everyone stone cold sober.
 
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Gymcelled

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You'd revert back almost immediately to your old habits, you'd just be in a different place, which would hardly matter as you'd rot at home

I remember having such fantasies as a kid, a fresh start somewhere else where I could be a completely different person entirely
Realistically all that would change is the scenery outside your window, which you'd probably cover up with curtains or blinds anyway

The only way this would have an impact is if you're forced to socialize and are accepted in a social circle. Big ifs
 
Robtical

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My pets and mom are the only things holding me back from moving too.
 
FullTimeLoser

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I'm not attached to anyone, I'm just too unresourceful and unkowledagble to move properly
 
foidologist

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What can't you just move to a new city? Unless you're a national celebrity and everyone in your country knows you, that would give you a "social restart" just like leaving the country, but you could still live close enough to your parents to visit often.
 
anon1822

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What can't you just move to a new city? Unless you're a national celebrity and everyone in your country knows you, that would give you a "social restart" just like leaving the country, but you could still live close enough to your parents to visit often.
It's a shitty and small country. Any other city is an even bigger shithole than this one. It's hard enough to find jobs in this one, and even those pay like $200 or $300 on average. In any other city you can halve that.
 
Gymcelled

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What can't you just move to a new city? Unless you're a national celebrity and everyone in your country knows you, that would give you a "social restart" just like leaving the country, but you could still live close enough to your parents to visit often.
He probably doesn't have the money for it and can't take a loan either
 
bigantennaemay1

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I'm scared to leave.
 
anon1822

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You'd revert back almost immediately to your old habits, you'd just be in a different place, which would hardly matter as you'd rot at home

I remember having such fantasies as a kid, a fresh start somewhere else where I could be a completely different person entirely
Realistically all that would change is the scenery outside your window, which you'd probably cover up with curtains or blinds anyway

The only way this would have an impact is if you're forced to socialize and are accepted in a social circle. Big ifs
Lmao, you are right. I remember really, really, really WANTING to leave before I did for studies. And I told myself I'd be more sociable in this new environment. Ended up even more antisocial, ended up ruining my life and my parent's lives by doing all the horrible shit I did. Ended up drinking alone in my room and humiliating myself instead of improving my life.
 
Lebensmüder

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I never considered moving. My parents even wanted me to move or go to the USA for a few months as a student, but I never wanted to leave my country because I don't want to care for myself really, because I have no language skills and because I don't really have any ambitions to change something about that. Learning something new doesn't bring me joy, learning something is just means to an end for me and not an end in itself, as an adult I have no curiosity. I have a low openess towards new experiences and disinterest in almost everything. I do what I am told to do by them and they let me live at their place and I don't really plan for the future or have an interest in becoming proactive. Why should? I am too inept to realize goals anyways. Traveling/leaving is something I don't care about in the slightest, mostly because it wouldn't change anything.

I'm not attached to anyone, I'm just too unresourceful and unkowledagble to move properly
This tbh.
 
Gymcelled

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Lmao, you are right. I remember really, really, really WANTING to leave before I did for studies. And I told myself I'd be more sociable in this new environment. Ended up even more antisocial, ended up ruining my life and my parent's lives by doing all the horrible shit I did. Ended up drinking alone in my room and humiliating myself instead of improving my life.
In school i remember dreaming of going to another school and becoming normal or popular. Then of course came college. jfl that was the worst, I stopped going there almost entirely and only went to exams and mandatory classes
 
anon1822

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In school i remember dreaming of going to another school and becoming normal or popular. Then of course came college. jfl that was the worst, I stopped going there almost entirely and only went to exams and mandatory classes
Forgot to add, I actually was a lot more sociable for the first few weeks/months when I went abroad. I really, really tried. But it's either cause I'm slightly autistic or maybe I just wasn't used to interacting with people, I ended up making people hate me instead of like me. I knew for sure they were talking behind my back, and I also did some weird stuff I guess. Anyway, ending up isolating myself even more and not even coming out of my room (it was a dorm). Problem is those people were also from my home country (it was in a foreign country), and I humiliated myself there with alcohol. And I'm pretty sure some of them knew people from my highschool too. So those stories about my humiliations are known by all the people I've ever known. Now it's so likely that every time I leave the house I bump into someone that heard some of my shit.
 
GreaseCel

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I’m sorry for your struggle, brother.
 
Gymcelled

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Forgot to add, I actually was a lot more sociable for the first few weeks/months when I went abroad. I really, really tried. But it's either cause I'm slightly autistic or maybe I just wasn't used to interacting with people, I ended up making people hate me instead of like me. I knew for sure they were talking behind my back, and I also did some weird stuff I guess. Anyway, ending up isolating myself even more and not even coming out of my room (it was a dorm). Problem is those people were also from my home country (it was in a foreign country), and I humiliated myself there with alcohol. And I'm pretty sure some of them knew people from my highschool too. So those stories about my humiliations are known by all the people I've ever known. Now it's so likely that every time I leave the house I bump into someone that heard some of my shit.
Damn you really destroyed your life with alcohol.

But yes that's how it goes for ugly males: the more you put yourself out there, the more you're hated
 
anon1822

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Name is Abdu, live in Laos, born on 24.08.1992.
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Damn you really destroyed your life with alcohol.

But yes that's how it goes for ugly males: the more you put yourself out there, the more you're hated
Yeah, I did try to put myself out there and tbh I guess I wasn't normal enough or something, it started with small signs of disrespect to bigger ones. And it would've been fine if "I knew my place", right? If I reacted docile and nice. But I guess I had too much ego for that so I wouldn't take that shit and wouldn't take shit. So people hated me.

And yeah, I ruined so many thins with alcohol. Ruined my education, my future. Ruined my family and their health, nearly actually destroyed our family. Also pretty much wasted 2 years of my life with nothing at all to show for it, and I wasted my parent's life savings. Not to mention I lost my front teeth (chipped in half), my pancreas is beyond fucked, my heart is slightly fucked too but not that much really. Also might've worsened the balding process.
I’m sorry for your struggle, brother.
Can't really call it a struggle, it's all self-inflicted. Others are going through real struggles, I'm just a spoiled weakling who fucked his life up.
 
Lookscel

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So if I am to have any life at all I need to leave. If I don't leave I'll be slaving for peanuts
I'm heading towards a similar situation. Don't have much options tbh. Might have to move to west to make a better living.
 
quadRUPLE bogey

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A restart is just another chance for a differnt social circle to not include you because.......

U UGO
 
Guykild

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I would not survive in another country.
 
Fancy Alcoholic

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I did leave all my relatives to live in a foreign country under the sun. Well, shit is same under the sun tbh. Still here, still coping, still same problems and shitty life.
 
curryboy420

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What can't you just move to a new city? Unless you're a national celebrity and everyone in your country knows you, that would give you a "social restart" just like leaving the country, but you could still live close enough to your parents to visit often.
People you knew from school will still be around. I see someone from my school every 4 or 5 months it seems just at the shops or petrol station. Or even just out for a walk and they drive past and see me.
Once I was on a train 75 miles from my home town and saw a guy I used to be friends with in high school and it was real awkward because he was with all his friends and I was basically a smelly druggie hobo at that point and hadnt seen him for 4 years.
But yes OP i wanna leave the cucknited kingdom so badly.
 
DonezoTheClown

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I'd have to give up my neetbux and legal weed, oh yeah and parents as well, kinda, I guess.

But I do fantasize about it all the time. I don't even wanna live where I live anymore because I know that by now most normies in the neighborhood will probably realize I'm just a useless leech who's lights are still on in the morning when they have to go to work and they hate me for it.

Your parents are probably the last people who will love you on this planet, it's something to keep in mind as an incel. At the same time phones and skype exists so it's not like you're never gonna see/talk to them again. Maybe you can just try it out and come back if things don't work out.
 
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Transcended Trucel

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You'd revert back almost immediately to your old habits, you'd just be in a different place, which would hardly matter as you'd rot at home

I remember having such fantasies as a kid, a fresh start somewhere else where I could be a completely different person entirely
Realistically all that would change is the scenery outside your window, which you'd probably cover up with curtains or blinds anyway

The only way this would have an impact is if you're forced to socialize and are accepted in a social circle. Big ifs
this sad truth