Lewis Carroll
Looking for his Alice
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- Joined
- Aug 10, 2019
- Posts
- 163
Last october I went to the psychiatrc ward voluntarily. I went there with the diagnosis depression, as well as antisocial and schizoid personality disorder. I got the offer from my shrink, and since I'm a NEET ldaring at home all the time I thought I make one last effort, I'm giving life one last chance. I'm 25 so it was basically the last glimpse of hope I had, before I get sucked into the inevitable event horizon of old age.
In anticipation of ITs accusation (which I honestly don't even expect, they tend to ignore posts about the bleak, undeniably reality of the life an Incel has to endure, since it confrontes them with their own misery, that lies under the coat of their smug righteousness) let me clarify, that I really tried my best. I followed the advices in the therapy, I took the pills and I was open, about my issues. Of course I didn't talk about incels, chads, holes and pepe but I explained how much I suffer about my inability to be desirable for literally anyone, how this fact is the guiding thread that runs through every other issue in my life, the bullying, that I've endured in school, the isolation at home, the isolation in my NEETdom, the inability to do literally anything that would require me to interact with other people, because I just can't endure one more fucking rejection, neither romantically nor socially. And even how my situation makes me resentful towards certain people.
I honestly felt understood by the therapists. I asked them to repeat the situation,that I've explained, back to me and it was coherent with how I told it. So in the beginning I was actually motivated.
I got 5-6 different pills and they might aswell been fucking candys. Except the sleeping pills, none of them had any effect on my mood or anxiety. I was promised good results, they told me, how it would be way easier to confront expositions to social situations. They didn't even gave me the famous brainfog, the pills just did absolutely nothing. It was the same with therapy, they told me to analyze my thoughts and find ways to rephrase negative compulse thinking with neutral or positive alternatives. I tried in the beginning but it was bullshit. I told them, that not my thoughts but my situation was the problem, but they didn't try to adjust anything to my needs. I did a bunch of stuff, talked to strangers on the street or shops, went to social events as they asked me to do. I was extremly anxious, obviously everyone I've interacted with felt my anxiety and wanted to get away from the creep as quick as possible. And that was supposed to boost my self-confidence. I was released earlier this month, I was disillusioned, frustrated and right now everything is the same as before. At least I got 3 meals a day.
There you go IT, I reached out for help, I put effort into therapy and I am as I was before. Because even you can't deny, that therapy can't turn a subhuman into a human. Or an incel into a normie.
P.S. I probably could and should write a few anecdotes, but as you can see, english isn't my first language and even writing this text was exhausting, also I have to be careful, not to somehow doxx myself. If there is any interest, I might go into details.
In anticipation of ITs accusation (which I honestly don't even expect, they tend to ignore posts about the bleak, undeniably reality of the life an Incel has to endure, since it confrontes them with their own misery, that lies under the coat of their smug righteousness) let me clarify, that I really tried my best. I followed the advices in the therapy, I took the pills and I was open, about my issues. Of course I didn't talk about incels, chads, holes and pepe but I explained how much I suffer about my inability to be desirable for literally anyone, how this fact is the guiding thread that runs through every other issue in my life, the bullying, that I've endured in school, the isolation at home, the isolation in my NEETdom, the inability to do literally anything that would require me to interact with other people, because I just can't endure one more fucking rejection, neither romantically nor socially. And even how my situation makes me resentful towards certain people.
I honestly felt understood by the therapists. I asked them to repeat the situation,that I've explained, back to me and it was coherent with how I told it. So in the beginning I was actually motivated.
I got 5-6 different pills and they might aswell been fucking candys. Except the sleeping pills, none of them had any effect on my mood or anxiety. I was promised good results, they told me, how it would be way easier to confront expositions to social situations. They didn't even gave me the famous brainfog, the pills just did absolutely nothing. It was the same with therapy, they told me to analyze my thoughts and find ways to rephrase negative compulse thinking with neutral or positive alternatives. I tried in the beginning but it was bullshit. I told them, that not my thoughts but my situation was the problem, but they didn't try to adjust anything to my needs. I did a bunch of stuff, talked to strangers on the street or shops, went to social events as they asked me to do. I was extremly anxious, obviously everyone I've interacted with felt my anxiety and wanted to get away from the creep as quick as possible. And that was supposed to boost my self-confidence. I was released earlier this month, I was disillusioned, frustrated and right now everything is the same as before. At least I got 3 meals a day.
There you go IT, I reached out for help, I put effort into therapy and I am as I was before. Because even you can't deny, that therapy can't turn a subhuman into a human. Or an incel into a normie.
P.S. I probably could and should write a few anecdotes, but as you can see, english isn't my first language and even writing this text was exhausting, also I have to be careful, not to somehow doxx myself. If there is any interest, I might go into details.
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