its almost my 21st birthday. i have no gf or a social circle. Soon, my parents will be forcing me attend my cousins quincera party. I also failed a lot of my classes,this means I have to take 2 more years at ny college to graduate with enough credits. Im stuck at my job, its not a great job for an incel because I am required to serve couples almost every shift. When I come back home after classes, I feel so tired, then I crash into my bed and when I wake up I do a lot of studying and hw and when all of that is done, I start to feel empty. When I work a long 5-7 hour shift, I go back home and I feel empty, there is nothing that excites me when I come back home from school and work. This is a very dark moment. I am not living, im just existing. I am like a ghost that nobody sees, I am unknown to the outside world. Everyone outside of the internet just views me as that random classmate or co-worker they see time from time. My 20’s are being wasted. I eat at restaurants alone, I walk alone in my city, I travel alone, sit alone in my couch, I watch tv alone, I sit in the bus alone, I sit in the public train alone, i shop alone. I am monkmaxxing right now but its not the right time to do that because being an 20 year old incel in 2024 and in liberal california is hell. Have mercy on my poor soul. My skin feels cold, and I am shivering right now because I keep thinking about my dark future.
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