I'm debating whether or not I should send him the link to this website so he can see the reality of an ugly man with no value of society. He thinks I'm a "confused teenager", when in reality I'm the startup of most old cels on this site. They were just like me, depressed and believing in that small grain of hope in a beach filled with misery and reality.
So, if you don't know I have to restart my last year of high school, and I'm doing so in Hong Kong. China's school system is extremely advanced, way more advanced than the USA. My Father knows this, and he also knows I have the knowledge of a sixth grader, I haven't learned biology, chemistry, physics, and etc. So, knowing all of this, he decides to put me in a class where I'm bound to fail. Where instead of hiring a tutor for all these subjects so I can catch up, he thinks it's a good idea for me to take all three and place me in a class where the people are ahead of me. And I mean way ahead. I said I should go in an easier class, and he told me if I did that, I would just be a loser even though if I joined the easier class I'd be guaranteed to not fail, and his money wouldn't be wasted. I could still learn all the other subjects with tutoring.
(Note: I still have tutors but wits for those advanced classes, they said they'll start the basics during holiday break but for now I have to "grind" for the upcoming tests)
When I told him I would fail because I have no prior knowledge of these subjects like the other students in my class, he told me "You're just lazy, work your ass off and do something that will make you struggle for once in your life." Lol, for once in my life struggle? As if I haven't been struggling every minute of the fucking day. Just recently I called my dad and told him how shitty my life has been, and I told him his verbal abuse was also a part of the reason why I'm such a loser. My Father also knows the effects bullying has on a man, as he had a friend in university take his own life because he was bullied by his own classmates. So, I'd think that of all people my father would understand how badly I've been treated and how badly it's affected me.
And what was I expecting, my father just wants me to forget about everything that's happened to me and just "move on", he said I shouldn't care about what other people think of me, yet I have to dress very well when I go outside because the way I present myself in public matters. The hypocrisy. He's also the same person that goes to the gym to maintain his physique, and no one goes to the gym for themselves. He's a coping gymcel that married a Chinese femcel jfl.
I wish I could tell him this, but I know my mom is cheating on him. I've known since I was 13, I saw a notification while I was using her phone, and she was sexting two guys and one even said, "When will I see you again". The most disgusting part of all this is that my mom took a photo of herself while we were on vacation, she kept asking me if she looked good in it, which was weird because my mom is a confident woman. And that photo was seen in the messages of her and that guy. I think finding out about this has really affected the way I view relationships and sex, because 3 years later, my mom is still doing this. And I saw her nudes this year too before I left on her phone. I also saw that she had Tinder notifications too. I took screenshots of it all and have it saved for the right time. My father doesn't know how he is a victim of modern society just as much as I am. Sometimes when my father insults me, I don't know if I should hate him or pity him.
He told me how his father used to beat him, and he hated it. Yet he beat me when I was a kid too, and sometimes when he loses control, he still hits me. I remember breaking down crying in front of my family, and my father laughed at me in front of everyone, pointing at me he said "You're pathetic, ahahaa look at this pathetic loser, look at you are crying. You have nothing to cry for. Hahahaa pathetic, pathetic." I'll never forget that day, it was very recent too (February of 2023). You'd think that maybe seeing your child in such pain where your child is crying uncontrollably, you'd probably ask if they're okay (bare minimum). But what did I expect from my father, a hug? Some pity? Or validation? Nah, and after he laughed at me he told me I will become nothing in life, he said I would be miserable forever and never achieve anything.
So, if you don't know I have to restart my last year of high school, and I'm doing so in Hong Kong. China's school system is extremely advanced, way more advanced than the USA. My Father knows this, and he also knows I have the knowledge of a sixth grader, I haven't learned biology, chemistry, physics, and etc. So, knowing all of this, he decides to put me in a class where I'm bound to fail. Where instead of hiring a tutor for all these subjects so I can catch up, he thinks it's a good idea for me to take all three and place me in a class where the people are ahead of me. And I mean way ahead. I said I should go in an easier class, and he told me if I did that, I would just be a loser even though if I joined the easier class I'd be guaranteed to not fail, and his money wouldn't be wasted. I could still learn all the other subjects with tutoring.
(Note: I still have tutors but wits for those advanced classes, they said they'll start the basics during holiday break but for now I have to "grind" for the upcoming tests)
When I told him I would fail because I have no prior knowledge of these subjects like the other students in my class, he told me "You're just lazy, work your ass off and do something that will make you struggle for once in your life." Lol, for once in my life struggle? As if I haven't been struggling every minute of the fucking day. Just recently I called my dad and told him how shitty my life has been, and I told him his verbal abuse was also a part of the reason why I'm such a loser. My Father also knows the effects bullying has on a man, as he had a friend in university take his own life because he was bullied by his own classmates. So, I'd think that of all people my father would understand how badly I've been treated and how badly it's affected me.
And what was I expecting, my father just wants me to forget about everything that's happened to me and just "move on", he said I shouldn't care about what other people think of me, yet I have to dress very well when I go outside because the way I present myself in public matters. The hypocrisy. He's also the same person that goes to the gym to maintain his physique, and no one goes to the gym for themselves. He's a coping gymcel that married a Chinese femcel jfl.
I wish I could tell him this, but I know my mom is cheating on him. I've known since I was 13, I saw a notification while I was using her phone, and she was sexting two guys and one even said, "When will I see you again". The most disgusting part of all this is that my mom took a photo of herself while we were on vacation, she kept asking me if she looked good in it, which was weird because my mom is a confident woman. And that photo was seen in the messages of her and that guy. I think finding out about this has really affected the way I view relationships and sex, because 3 years later, my mom is still doing this. And I saw her nudes this year too before I left on her phone. I also saw that she had Tinder notifications too. I took screenshots of it all and have it saved for the right time. My father doesn't know how he is a victim of modern society just as much as I am. Sometimes when my father insults me, I don't know if I should hate him or pity him.
He told me how his father used to beat him, and he hated it. Yet he beat me when I was a kid too, and sometimes when he loses control, he still hits me. I remember breaking down crying in front of my family, and my father laughed at me in front of everyone, pointing at me he said "You're pathetic, ahahaa look at this pathetic loser, look at you are crying. You have nothing to cry for. Hahahaa pathetic, pathetic." I'll never forget that day, it was very recent too (February of 2023). You'd think that maybe seeing your child in such pain where your child is crying uncontrollably, you'd probably ask if they're okay (bare minimum). But what did I expect from my father, a hug? Some pity? Or validation? Nah, and after he laughed at me he told me I will become nothing in life, he said I would be miserable forever and never achieve anything.
