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Being NT basically means you arent thinking, but only following instincts and the consensus/whats popular among your peers.
The thought scares the shit out of me. Whenever i am in a conversation i focus my forehead sort of and think about what people are saying & what i will respond with. When i walk around i kind of analyse everything around me. To me it feels normal, very sentient and on edge.
NOT having autism would be like you´re just a leaf in the wind.
All the same i will try to read less and not overthink shit in the future, kinda hard when you have like 150 IQ. I dont think it´s possible, no matter how hard you try. You feel like you´re melting from the inside with anxiety attacks like suicide feelings when you try to emulate the normies and hold back opinions. I actually feel like normies arent just stupid. That would imply they are even comparable to me, just as a normie cant be compared to a chimpanzee in sensible ways. I feel exactly like how Nietzsche, Schopenhauer, Weil, Diderot etc described it when they compared themselves to normies. It´s a SPECIES divide in all but name. 10-20 IQ here and there, but its basically like comparing a smart chimp with 40 IQ to persons like me. I read silmarillion in what is 5th/6th grade-Elementary school-ish (4an/5an in sweden), wrote stories with 50-100 pages in 2nd/3rd grade, got n1 in fast reading competition against everyone in my entire middle school, couldnt lose in ping pong/halo (high autism reflexes). I have thought up world changing ideas & quotes the likes of rand/kant etc.
Society fucking hates me. I actually FEEL the hatred while im walking around my nearest big city. I think i´m insanely autistic. Other people feel like robots or monkeys.
Ive practically created my own religion, caus ive got nothing else to do. It´s as thought up as like islam or the likes. Took me years and hundreds of philosophy/history & society structure books to sort through and compile what i needed from them, with tweaks here and there.
PS, unrelated, but the microwave oven is just another way to make men accept their situation with micro food just as with porn in regards to sex, better to just eat out than microwave food or cook yourself (Hold fast to your principles about gender roles, dont cook, not even for yourselves). And they´ll force incels to get with landwhales eventually. Very unrelated, but just popped in my head.
Whatever your principles are, dont break them, or you´ll feel like shit. Worse than anything other people can submit you to.
According to 23&me, i´m in the top 1% of jews. Its on bloody paper, im not bragging or making anything up. My head moves like Zuckerbergs from that interview clip of the congress hearing or whatever. Probably one of the reasons women feel theres something off about me.
The thought scares the shit out of me. Whenever i am in a conversation i focus my forehead sort of and think about what people are saying & what i will respond with. When i walk around i kind of analyse everything around me. To me it feels normal, very sentient and on edge.
NOT having autism would be like you´re just a leaf in the wind.
All the same i will try to read less and not overthink shit in the future, kinda hard when you have like 150 IQ. I dont think it´s possible, no matter how hard you try. You feel like you´re melting from the inside with anxiety attacks like suicide feelings when you try to emulate the normies and hold back opinions. I actually feel like normies arent just stupid. That would imply they are even comparable to me, just as a normie cant be compared to a chimpanzee in sensible ways. I feel exactly like how Nietzsche, Schopenhauer, Weil, Diderot etc described it when they compared themselves to normies. It´s a SPECIES divide in all but name. 10-20 IQ here and there, but its basically like comparing a smart chimp with 40 IQ to persons like me. I read silmarillion in what is 5th/6th grade-Elementary school-ish (4an/5an in sweden), wrote stories with 50-100 pages in 2nd/3rd grade, got n1 in fast reading competition against everyone in my entire middle school, couldnt lose in ping pong/halo (high autism reflexes). I have thought up world changing ideas & quotes the likes of rand/kant etc.
Society fucking hates me. I actually FEEL the hatred while im walking around my nearest big city. I think i´m insanely autistic. Other people feel like robots or monkeys.
Ive practically created my own religion, caus ive got nothing else to do. It´s as thought up as like islam or the likes. Took me years and hundreds of philosophy/history & society structure books to sort through and compile what i needed from them, with tweaks here and there.
PS, unrelated, but the microwave oven is just another way to make men accept their situation with micro food just as with porn in regards to sex, better to just eat out than microwave food or cook yourself (Hold fast to your principles about gender roles, dont cook, not even for yourselves). And they´ll force incels to get with landwhales eventually. Very unrelated, but just popped in my head.
Whatever your principles are, dont break them, or you´ll feel like shit. Worse than anything other people can submit you to.
According to 23&me, i´m in the top 1% of jews. Its on bloody paper, im not bragging or making anything up. My head moves like Zuckerbergs from that interview clip of the congress hearing or whatever. Probably one of the reasons women feel theres something off about me.
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